DP being too harsh or am I too soft?

[BLUESEAPARADISE]

Is my DP being too harsh or am I being too soft? Would love to know people's opinions, Thankyou!

Our DS is 9 years old and has Autism and a few other things ( but other than Autism they don't relate to this situation) due to my sons autism his diet is very limited ( loves you, Scrambled egg, pancake and a few Other things) tonight we are having a chicken roast dinner and we are going to offer it to DS however DP is saying we should dish it like a normal sized meal and put it in front of him!

I am saying it would be too overwhelming to have his plate piled high and perhaps just put one carrot, one pea , a little piece of potato and a little bit of chicken on his plate ( it isn't safe for us to leave the dishes on the table in front of him to serve himself ... he will chuck it)

DP is saying I am being too soft and need to stop wrapping him in cotton wool and let him experience a " normal "meal and at a " normal size" a typical 9 year old child would eat.

AIBU?

Your way definitely best and I agree with the pp about not having foods touching etc. Glad it went well.

My brother lived on chicken nuggets, milkshake, mash and waffles for the first 5 years of his life, mum built it up in small amounts, he's now 26 and eats most things, there is a light at the end of the tunnel

I think this dishing a plate full and forcing someone to eat it whether they are that hungry or not is inappropriate even if dealing with an NT child (or an adult for that matter). What is that teaching about portion control?

Went through this with my now 15 y/o DS. Did exactly the same as you suggested. Made a request to try at least part of everything but no pressure to finish. No gravy (still doesn't like it - nor food touching) he also would only eat peas straight from the freezer in a pot and raw carrots but it was a start. It took a while but I gradually expanded his repertoire and he now loves a hearty roast dinner. My ex DH wanted to do it your DP's way and that would've resulted in traumatic meltdowns. Do it your way @BLUESEAPARADISE - baby steps. You'll get there - it just takes time and patience. X