Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave my job for something less stressful?

27 replies

Stressedoutandfedup · 23/07/2017 09:29

I work 2 days a week, 16 hours. These are great hours as I have 3dcs. However I find the job so stressful it is making me ill. I spend all the day before work in a state of anxiety and nervousness. After work on the 2 days I am stressed out, exhausted and feel ill with headaches. The day after work I spend most of it recovering from the previous 2 days!
I am thinking of leaving for a less stressful but lower paid job. Obviously this will mean a pay cut and maybe having to work 3 days per week instead of 2. I don't know what to do.

OP posts:
rollonthesummer · 23/07/2017 09:33

Do it if it's making you feel like this. What sort of job is it? Would you try to find a job in a totally different sector?

VeryButchyRestingFace · 23/07/2017 09:36

What's the job? What is it you find stressful?

Synecdoche · 23/07/2017 09:36

Definitely leave - you'll feel a weight off your shoulders Flowers

PurpleDaisies · 23/07/2017 09:37

Do it! The best thing I did was change careers a few years ago.

SandysMam · 23/07/2017 09:38

Yes leave!! Life is too short (not a cliche, actually a fact) to be miserable. Chronic stress is also bad for your health so may even make life shorter. Enjoy your new stress free life!

DoubleHelix79 · 23/07/2017 09:39

Sometimes the problem is not the job itself but colleagues, line managers or company culture. If that's a contributing factor then I'd really consider changing employer instead.

SparkyBlue · 23/07/2017 09:50

I did it three years ago. It was a major step back pay wise and career wise but with two young children it suits me. I work a three day week and it doesn't stress me at all.

araiwa · 23/07/2017 09:53

How would your finances be going forward?

You know how stressfull being poor is?

CockacidalManiac · 23/07/2017 09:55

I did. Life shouldn't be like that.

fannydaggerz · 23/07/2017 09:58

Life is too short to be feeling like this.

Lucisky · 23/07/2017 10:07

I've left stressful jobs, and just jobs I didn't like. The feeling of relief is enormous - just that huge weight being lifted off your shoulders. Leave, find something you enjoy, life's too short to spend your time anxious and worried.

Original poster
Stressedoutandfedup · 23/07/2017 11:18

I'm a mental health nurse. It would mean leaving to do a non nursing job. It would mean a drop in monthly disposable income of £1000 to £600/700. I am so confused and conflicted with it as I get good annual leave, pension etc with the nhs but the stress is just making me ill even on those hours.

OP posts:
CockacidalManiac · 23/07/2017 12:08

I did 25 years of nursing; ended up being pensioned off with mental health problems. I work in retail now.

KatyN · 23/07/2017 12:23

I would do it in a heartbeat, but my job is already low stress as is my hunbands. We've made the decision to have a lower income but a calm life.
Hope you find something suitable kx

lidoshuffle · 23/07/2017 12:29

By coincidence I was reading old diaries this morning. I was shocked to remember how I'd be crying on a Sunday night about work the following day in a job I hated and stressed me out. I felt I had to continue at it because I needed the money.

In retrospect I should have left it and sod the cut in salary. Life really is too short to be that unhappy if there is any alternative. You can make cut backs, you can eventually get promotions in a new job. Please consider leaving for your own mental health. Best of luck.

TheNightmanCometh · 23/07/2017 12:31

What sort of non-nursing job? Are you qualified? Would it mean going in at the bottom?

Wheretheresawill1 · 23/07/2017 12:32

I'm a mental health nurse. I left a band 8 management job on Friday to join an agency as a band 6. Feel relieved but nervous . No job is worth feeling stressed and being anxious about

MonsterQueen · 23/07/2017 16:12

Can you keep your hand in with Agency work? Are there any other MH posts that would be less stressful? Is it the work or the Team? You worked long and hard for your qualification, and we need Nurses so please do not leave unless you really have no option.

I have been Nursing for 30 years and cannot leave as I have young children and am the only wage earner. I could not afford to even drop a pay band. In order to do so, I would need to sell our home, which I do not want to do.

mmmmmchocolate · 23/07/2017 16:38

I did it 3 years ago. I planned to leave, cut my spending massively for 6 months and saved every penny I could. I found that even having that 'date' in mind lead to a huge improvement in my anxiety levels.

I went to a job that was more days (less hours a day) and that almost halved my monthly salary but it was a job I loved. We struggled for a good while until I managed to get a promotion and even though I'm still not earning what I did in my previous job, I'm happy, we cope fine and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. 😊

Allthewaves · 23/07/2017 16:47

Is a side step optional - something that uses your skills and still pays.

pyjamas89 · 23/07/2017 17:17

Sorry to hear you are having a hard time of it. I left nursing at the beginning of the year - this time last year I could have written a post very similar to yours. My anxiety about when I next had to be in work was impacting on every area of my life and the amount of headspace that work was taking up was unhealthy. It got to the point of me crying every day on the way in, on the way home, at the thought of having to go in...I knew something had to give because work is not supposed to make you ill.

I now work in an admin job. It's slightly less money but comparable annual leave and pension, and a flexitime policy (I was also worried about these things as the NHS has reasonable benefits). I do miss parts of nursing, but my work life balance is so much better now and my mental health has improved massively since leaving. Even now, reflecting back I would make the same decision every time.

Can you afford the pay cut? If you wanted to explore staying in nursing but perhaps trying a different team or service to see if you would be better supported have you thought about asking about redeployment opportunities with your employer? I was offered a different post via this route, which I ulitmately decided not to take but the process was very straight forward. There were quite a few opportunities available in my trust, so I if this could be an option for you to try something else before making a final decision?

Sorry this ended up rather long but your post really resonated with me. Good luck in making a decision.

SafeToCross · 23/07/2017 19:33

My friend did, and seems much better. She got redeployed into an admin role first, then moved on - any chance of this for you (her pay was protected for a year). Imho working 2 days is very hard to keep up with everything - most trusts won't do less than 3 now. I was less stressed as my hours went up (family committments allowing). Its not the kind of job you can do if you are not ok, not that anyone should struggle on regardless in any job.

Original poster
Stressedoutandfedup · 24/07/2017 07:29

Thanks everyone for replies. I am going to consider the redeployment route and if this is not possible, leave and find something different. I can't continue to feel like this.

OP posts:
Tiptoethr0ughthetulips · 24/07/2017 07:36

As others have suggested, pick up a couple of bank shifts a week if you can. Join a few agencies. I would be careful with redeployment, investigate what it's like in your trust because in mine it's pretty much career suicide once you're on that list.
Could you look into Nursing homes ( not all bad) or clinical teaching, union rep etc.
Also what about using your skills and experience outside of nursing say something like advising for a mental health charity etc.

milkysmum · 24/07/2017 07:37

I just knew you would be a mental health nurse when i read your initial post! Im an RMN too and totally get it. I left my band 7 community job a few months ago as it was making me ill. I was initially planning to just do bank/ agency work but a job came up in the private sector so I decided to give it a go. Ive been here 2 months- im still not sure ive made the right decsion. I think i woukd like to leave nursing but im not qualified to do anything else- i dont know what i woukd do!