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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this odd?

9 replies

acapellagirl · 22/07/2017 22:38

This is not a current story it's one that goes back some years but I've always wondered about it.

Long story short. Friend in college her mum had breast cancer. I then say well compared to a lot of other cancers breast cancer has a good survival rate(context: this was 90s) . We were walking home. 'Friend' then turns around quite affronted saying implying I'm being insensitive and saying in a huff " My MUM has cancer" before walking off implying I'd said something really offensive!!!! Next time I see her she's distinctly frosty with me. AIBU??

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Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 22/07/2017 22:44

She probably felt you were dismissive of her fears and concerns, when (guessing) you were trying to comfort and reassure her? It can be helpful to listen to a friend's detailed worries first so it doesn't come across like that. You didn't mean it in the way she thought, but it was a long time ago now, so either discuss with her if you can or accept you could have phrased it more sensitively and move on. We are human, we make mistakes but hopefully learn from them Flowers

Sparklingbrook · 22/07/2017 22:44

How old were you? School age?

acapellagirl · 22/07/2017 22:46

Thanks Slightly it was so long ago though I don't remember what I EXACTLY said though so my 'words' just paint the general picture I can't remember my exact words unfortunately

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acapellagirl · 22/07/2017 22:47

I was 21 Sparkling while she'd have been about 23 ... sort of uni age

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Sparklingbrook · 22/07/2017 22:50

It's difficult to say really. Maybe she didn't want to hear that, maybe she didn't want to hear anything. No need to still be mulling it over now though.

acapellagirl · 22/07/2017 22:50

And unfortunately Slightly we've been out of contact for many years

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WhamBarsArentAsFizzyAsTheyWere · 22/07/2017 22:51

It may have come across as though you were minimising what her mum was going through.

She was probably watching her mum scared and sore and going through treatments and then you basically told her other people have it worse.

She probably just wanted to vent and you were trying to help her and somewhere in the middle emotions got involved.

acapellagirl · 22/07/2017 22:51

I realise it's a long time ago Sparkling just another poster posted a sort of similar situation tonight and I've always wondered what I did wrong

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acapellagirl · 22/07/2017 22:52

Thanks WhamBars I see what you mean

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