To ask you to describe your worst colleague

[SydneyJones]

I work with someone who's so tight. Will never contribute to presents (weddings, new baby etc). Donations can be anything like 50p etc.

Any food people bring in he will help himself in adundance. He has never brought in any food to share.

I helped him out loads and asked him for a review (evidence to give to manager for our yearly review) and he wrote one word answers. Not one sentence, my manager was baffled when she read it.

He doesn't log into his phone so we always get calls from his customers.

I've worked with worse people but he's the worst right now. Anyone else?

Very loud. Bitchy. Snide. Childish.

Anatidae no, I didn't have a thread about it but I've told the story on here more than once before! Still makes my blood boil! Sorry you went through similar - there are some awful pricks around

This woman was a nasty bully but was also highly pretentious and liked to think of herself as really edgy. Practically everything was said with an air of condescension. She would make snide comments about me being vegetarian; years later, she's become vegan herself and quite a shouty one. She was also studying part-time to become a counsellor, of all things, which is a bit worrying coming from such a nasty person. She is now a full-time counsellor and works in a niche area that she thinks makes her cutting edge.

Most people don't like her. I mentioned her on a thread here once before, and two complete strangers recognised her and sent me PMs. Both of them mentioned her ridiculous haircut! She thinks it's edgy. Everyone else thinks it's stupid.

One is a violent racist nasty misogynist.

The other had an affair with the 20 years older married boss, laps up all the favortism the sad fucker gives her and acts like Lady Muck above us all.

The boss loves them both.

She's lazy, a Know it all, bragger, occasionally she asks you something but only so she can quickly turn the conversation round to herself. She'll come up with an idea for something and six months later she still hasn't done anything about it. She is a leave hogger and expects hers and her family commitments and time to be more important than anyone else's and the worst she forever talks over you and does sly put downs.

I work with an "OMG, when that happened to me I......".

Everything that ANYONE brings up as an unusual thing that happened - fell off a ladder, skateboarded nose first into a house, got appendicitis... whatever - her instance has gone worse.....

I feel like saying we had a plague of frogs in the house last night or something

My worst colleague is a woman who has absolutely no self awareness whatsoever. She's highly intelligent but has very low emotional intelligence and cannot read how others are thinking. She's obsessed with detail and won't let anything lie. She's process driven and can't cope with any flexibility. She talks to people like shit and doesn't realise the impact it has on them. She had mood swings which can make her complete unbearable sometimes. She talks over other people and pulls their work apart. I could go on...

Violetcharlotte

She sounds like my line manager

violet
Does she have any mental disabilities that you know of?? Sounds quite intense!

I was a civil servant, and I was a PA to senior civil servants. I got lumbered looking after a hideously overpaid consultant who was the 'communications' director. Utterly pointless role. Remember Siobhan from Perfect Curve in W1A and 2012? Imagine her but utterly spiteful, nasty, climbing bitch. I had counselling having worked for her. She moved to another department and drove out a friend of mine too and almost drove him to a breakdown. Single most awful human I've ever encountered. She put me under so much pressure I once fell asleep at the wheel of my car with exhaustion and came close to crashing into a river. Everyone around me saw it, saw what had happened before to others because of her, and with only one exception, nobody did anything.

Girlonatrain
You have my sympathies!

Mathilda
I have a strong suspicion she has.

Loads of previous colleagues I couldn't stand.
One who thought he could be promoted from a care assistant to a nurse by bringing coffees and cakes in for the nurses, not by applying for and completing a nursing degree he was a general nightmare who tried to micromanage everybody although he had no senior role whatsoever
Another who used to storm around shouting that she was doing all the work herself despite doing fuck all.
Both have now been sacked for gross misconduct
Work is now a lovely place and everybody has remarked on the welcoming and inclusive atmosphere

We had one woman who would chat incessantly about her waxed fanny -
When a staff member was replaced (by a man!!) she was horrified and said 'but we won't be able to have the same conversations anymore'

Thank god for that

Tulip, you clearly win.

For practical purposes, I very much like to operate under the assumption that all my co-workers look like Barbie and Ken dolls naked. A little part of me knows it's not true but it makes working with them and listening to some of their conversions a hell of a lot less disturbing.

tulip

How much conversational mileage can one even get from a waxed fanny?? :)

Someone who used to stay off work at the first sign of a slight cold- and would take it v seriously and act the pampered princess. If anyone else ever rang in sick, she'd roll her eyes and imply that she clearly thought they were faking. She did however, knowingly come in with the norovirus .

Same girl also downed tools at 4pm and always had a reason she could never work weekends (retail). Boss-lady and I gave up booking holidays as we could never get a 9 or 14 day block off which actually included 2 weekends in one go because of her. This girl was an assistant manager and even our Area Manager admitted we should never have hired her and she was a mistake!

One of my colleagues is a 100 degree hottie. He's just turned 50 but is in cracking shape. He used to be a professional footballer.

He's a lovely guy too. He's really kind, caring and competent.

But his breath stinks. Like properly stinks. Of meat and decay and death.