About my weight vs my mental health?

[user1497199406]

To cut a long story short, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder approximately three years ago. At the time, I was just over eight stone and a size eight, which looking back was too thin as I'm 5"6. It's taken me two and a half years to find a combination of medications that work for me and it's been hell, but in the last six months I have completely stabilised and finally feel like I am on a regime of medication and therapy that truly helps me.

However, I've put on over two stone in the past three years, which I was prewarned about as anti psychotic drugs can be notorious for weight gain. I'm now just under eleven stone and wearing a size twelve. My BMI is 24 so I'm still in the healthy weight range but only just.

The real problem is that although my common sense is aware that a size twelve is a long way from fat, I have lost a lot of my confidence. I'm never sure what to wear and I feel like nothing looks good. I eat reasonably healthily and do a lot of walking but nothing shifts it. I feel as though I'm being silly as my mental health is so much more important...AIBU to still feel fat and frumpy?

To an outsider looking in it would be easy to say you are being unreasonable but only you live in your body so YANBU to feel the way you do.

Can you change some of your walking for running or something to mix it up a bit and hopefully help you tone up to a point you are more comfortable?

Exercise is good for your mental health as well as physical, why not take up some regular fitness classes or join a local club- easier to stay motivated in a group.

Physical changes can be hard to adjust to. You know you're a healthy weight and you're managing your mental health well, so objectively speaking everything's fine, but being bigger than you used to be can still feel really weird. Time will help. So will trying to do some exercise you really enjoy, so you feel grounded in your body. And wearing clothes that you like. Lots and lots of things will look good on a size 12, I promise!

I would try exercise programme including weights. Won't change your body weight as such but give you a shape you might be happier with.

Can you afford to treat yourself to a couple of new things that you feel nice in? A frivolous little celebration of things stabilising for you? You don't have to give up on slimming down if that would ultimately make you happier. But you're still a healthy weight, so no need to rush or pressurise yourself if you can find another way to give your confidence and little temporary lift.

Your mental health is more important but at the end of the day your health has led to you experiencing changes in your body and it's ok to struggle with that for a bit. Two stones is a big change, even if you're still small compared to lots of people.

Be kind to yourself. You're doing brilliantly by walking lots and eating healthily. There are definitely lots of clothes that look good on size 12 women so I'd advise you to get out to the shops and really learn how to dress yourself so you feel good. I like the Facebook group 'fuller figure, fuller wardrobe' but whilst you could absolutely join that you'd be at the smallest end of the people in it by far. There are so many larger women in there making themselves look amazing though and they'd have tips for you.

Oh and ebay has tons of new or nearly new clothes at a fraction of what they're sold for new. So if you're able to put aside £50 or £100 you could get lots of different new outfits for that on there to give yourself a boost.

if your bipolar is otherwise stable then that is terrific -- it's so hard to achieve.

Your mental illness is probably using the weight-worry as something you get to obsess about, it's like a leverage point to make you mentally unwell again.

I can't advise on whether you should think it's important that you might be fat & frumpy. Many MNers think this problem could be very important & they would say they are being very sane to think about it. I would say it's a silly thing to worry about. I think we choose our value systems, though, and what our priorities are.