Not to accept less maintenance

[Ciderandskatesdontmix]

I've just had the annual review paperwork from CMO through and they've calculated that I am due an increase in monthly payments. My ex is saying that he can't afford this and wants to keep the payments the same as he has previously been paying.

The reason we go through CMO is that he has messed me about in the past by not paying or by trying to reduce previously agreed amounts. He wants us to go back to a private arrangement but I don't want to do this as I'm pretty sure that the only reason he's stuck to paying as he should is the threat that they could take the money straight out of his earnings if he fell into arrears.

He's basically trying to guilt me into accepting less by saying that he can't afford to do anything with the kids on his time with them. For background info he's only just started having them EOW after 3 years of seeing them every other Sunday with only very occasional overnights. Aibu to say that he needs to pay what the CMO tells him is his minimum contribution?

yanbu go for it.

Absolute not being unreasonable. You'd be a fool - and letting your children down - to accept. Stay strong!

YANBU...don't let him manipulate you.

YANBU!
Keep it through the agency and make him pay what he should.
Point out to him that the minimum is just that, the minimum, since he's already doing the legal and moral minimum for his child does he REALLY want to do less?!

YANBU. If he was reliable with support then there might be room for some negotiation if he was genuinely struggling. But since he forced you to use the CMS service by not providing adequately for his children he needs to suck up the amount they dictate. Them's the breaks. It's the bare minimum legally enforceable anyway.

Ha! If I had an ex who was a cooperative and fully involved father, who never shirked a payment, and who genuinely couldn't afford an increase (and I didn't need it) then of course I would be happy not to insist.

This layabout? No. Cough up. Don't feel guilty.

Ellisandra beat me to it. YANBU.

Stupid app- I had put in paragraphs I promise! Thanks for the reassurance, I didn't think I was BU but obviously when it comes to children it's all too easy to think emotivly rather than practically.

I would threaten him with going for direct pay from his wages if he doesn't pay the new amount even once! It is the legal minimum. He has obviously had an increase in salary for his payments to have been increased.

YANBU. It's up to him to manage his finances better and prioritise the payment of child maintenance.

Go for it.