To not buy friend a present for having new baby ?

[Cuckingfunt1981]

I attended her baby shower 2 weeks ago and spent £70 on baby gifts and a mum to be pamper set that contained moisturisers and nice oils etc . She delivered yesterday at 38 weeks and I don't know whether I should then buy another gift or if the baby shower is classed as being where she gets gifts for new baby ? With my 4dcs I never had a baby shower (or even wanted one for that matter) so people would generally visit after I'd had baby and bring a card and a small gift for new baby ( I was always grateful for them visiting and never expected a gift) . I don't know what the etiquette is these days but I feel iv all ready spent enough on my friend and her baby ? AIBU ??

Definitely take a cake! A friend baked us a lemon cake and it was the best present for sleep deprived new parents!

Pregnant with DC2 at the moment and I have already jokingly told our friend it's just so she'll do us another cake!!

YANBU, you don't need to buy more gifts.

Next time a friend has a baby shower, could you split gifts in two? I.e. A gift for baby shower and one for when you go see the baby?

And try shopping in the sale, I bought 5 lovely outfits from the Next sale for my friend for £25.

£70 couldn't never make you a cheapskate. This is why I hate baby showers, it makes being feel guilty about not buying a second present, which is ridiculous.

I'd take her a Costa Coffee, and a sarnie, then have gorgeous newborn cuddles while you're friend gets to eat and have a hot drink in peace for 10 mins. I'd have appreciated that way more than a gift.

Thanks guys . I like the costa idea of a cuppa and a sarnie

I hate baby showers so didn't have one and £70 is incredibly generous. People did tend to bring dd a present when she was born, mainly clothes, which was lovely, but the best present we had was a bag of easy meals - fresh pasta and sauce, snack bars etc.
Tbh just offering to make her a cup of tea and a sandwich would be fab.

Yeah you buy a present at baby shower or when baby born not both! (I hope!)

That said, I said no to a baby shower and one friend took that as meaning don't buy me anything for the baby at all. Since I'd spent about £70 on her I was a bit when she arrived empty handed.

£70 is a lot!

You've already been incredibly generous with the baby shower gifts. Take her a token gift now only if you feel you want to and can afford it.

I'd take a card and some chocs

You don't need to take another gift, she's had her gift, thatis the point of the baby shower. You were very generous too!

I had the same situation recently and just took a card and box of celebrations

It's the first baby shower I had been too so was unsure how it all works . I did think that the shower was for giving new baby and mum gifts but it also feels like such a huge deal when baby arrives so I wasn't sure what I should do

The home made cakes I was given after Dbaby were fab. They felt like a food cuddle.

it's just an ordinary baby not Jesus of bleedin' Nazareth

HAHA!

I wouldn't buy her anything else personally. But if you did want to - how about things like Brie and Pate that she hasn't been able to eat for 9 months?? Or is that weird? If be pleased if someone bought me those things after I have my baby in November.

Lots of people will take cake, take some proper food that she can shove in the microwave and eat with one hand. I took chilli to a friend with a newborn and she's not stopped thanking me yet.

I have just had a baby and would love love love it if a friend made me a nice cake and bring a nice hot costa coffee ......am very jealous.

Pate!!! Yes! That was my present from DH after a crap pregnancy and birth and finally getting home weeks later. Never got time to eat it mind you.

Good idea about the pate and Brie . I could maybe make her a small hamper ??

A small hamper would be lovely and not too expensive!

Thanks Ethel il do that