Parents!! AIBU?

[acapellagirl]

My mum imo was an abusive alcoholic. We went on holiday and met another family when I was 10 which included -girl and boy. For context I was an only child and fat. We were in a cafe and I could herar her in a drunken voice saying to the 6 yr old of other family -Claire (not real name ) is as fat as that!!! Then I'd get upset and my mum would chastise me for being unhappy!! Several other insidents to many to mention-slapping me across face as a 4yr old repeatedly one evening as she lost it with me for the fact I hadn't settled in bed , throwing me out in a drunken rage as a 27 yr old for a minor reason knowing I had nowhere to go and interefering in my relationships. The only child thing is relevant for this as she used the spoilt insult all the time to me which has been (v unfairly) associated with only children. My parents have died. AIBU to still feel affected by this?

Sorry as a 17 yr old NOT 27!!!

Of course you're still affected by what sounds like an abusive childhood. I would seriously recommend looking into some sort of counseling to give you space to talk and process this

Thanks for replying MommaGee - appreciate it.

Other incidents like drunkenly telling me n holiday when I was 10 that my mum only stayed with my dad cos of me, pressure to be academic but not acknowledging emotional wellbeing, my mum when I was 24 throwing me and my dad out of the house for a day in a drunken rage so we had to wander the streets, finding a small excuse to come not my bedroom and hit me

Come into** my bedroom and hit me as a teenager

No, it might all be affecting you more now she is gone as you maybe feel like you never dealt with it and now you cant? Have you thought of going to your GP for a referral for counselling? My sister had it due to the environment we were in as teens and i think it helped, although she doesnt talk about it much.
My mum married another man when i was 11, about 2 years later he started becoming violent, they had a volatile relationship and it would regularly become violent. In my mums head it wasnt that bad (it was!)
Your mum was in the wrong and should never have treated you like that xx

Thanks Heartofglass it seems a lot of us have been through different things in our different ways I've had some counselling in the past but it was due to things like relationship break ups iyswim