Aibu to be ashamed of how traumatised the last few years make me feel.

[ohnoyoucutafringe]

I have had a good life - I came from a loving family met my dh young got married and had 5 healthy children. No major worries no problems and I didn't even realise it.

Then a couple of years ago I found out I was pregnant with dc6 and a few things happened which although embarrassingly minor compared to the awful things that some people go through. It was a period of about 18 months and tbh I feel really traumatised by it.

I have been taking flouxitene for a while now and it has helped but I feel really really stupid that minor things (marriage problems and illness) are STILL upsetting me now they are over.

It sounds dramatic but I don't think I will ever be the same again. Everyone else seems to have moved on but I'm just stuck reliving things over and over.

I realised I should probably mention this to someone in real life as I haven't at this point but I feel really stupid! It's not like I have escaped a war zone or been the victim of some horrible crime. I think was just exposed to reality for the first time.

Aibu to think that this is something I am just going to have to get over. People keep asking WHY I am struggling and tbh I too ashamed to tell them!

Pain is pain. It's not a competition. You are allowed to feel this way.

Sometimes it takes a while for things to catch up with you. You might be burnt out.

Talk to your friends and be kind to yourself. You deserve it

You know sometimes it's not the huge things in life that get to you. Sometimes it is the seemingly (to other people) smaller things.

My life changing events started probably 14 years or more ago now and up until last year I had no break - every year bought a new tragedy or major upheaval. Things that would make EastEnders look boring & mundane at times! But sometimes I would genuinely be able to cope & work through something that others considered to be un-get-over-able and at times something that the same people would dismiss with a "well, after everything else you've been through that's nothing" would have me absolutely devastated.

There are no rules regarding what you can & can't find too much to bear despite how others might make you feel.

Please be kind to yourself, seek counselling if you feel it might help. Best of luck .

I think you have it on the nose. It's being exposed to reality and the fact life doesn't always go to plan, anything can happen to anyone, is the clincher. Some people live in a bubble,and have people to rely on, it's tough realising that everyone is basically alone.

Have you ever had the chance to talk about these things with a neutral third party? If not, please try it, you may find it helps.

" I don't think I will ever be the same again. Everyone else seems to have moved on but I'm just stuck reliving things over and over."

This is your mind trying to tell you that you need to look a bit more closely at these things that have happened in your life. It won't let go of them because there are still things there that you need to resolve. Talk to somebody.

Agree with PP. I had a life changing medical event a few years ago. I had counselling for PTSD afterwards and it did help... for a while, but I truly feel I've never moved on.

I visited my GP just after Christmas and explained how I felt and he told me he thought I should see a medical psychologist because how I feel is directly related to what happened to me, medically. Finally got the appointment through for next month.

I know it will be tough revisiting and going over it, but I'm really hoping it will help me to finally move on.

Good luck

Havalina - you are right. My husband who had been very loving and is better now went through a really bad stress/depression thing and became really unpleasant so although he's better now I'm not as secure as I was..

And I was unwell with infections and sepsis twice so I dont feel secure in my health which I had never even thought about before.

Well, the more energy you put into deciding you're 'not allowed' to feel this way, the less you have for actually dealing with it.

It isn't a competition, pain is pain, and if you never experienced much hardship then you may not have developed resilience. I'd suggest seeing if you can access some therapy.

It's ok to feel hurt and it's ok to feel fragile about something you found traumatic.

We can all point to people who have it 'better' or 'worse' than we do.

What matters is how YOU feel, and the things you put in place to build yourself back up after a difficult time.

Wow name change fail ....

You poor thing, you. I can relate, last summer, I almost kicked the bucket with peritonitis and even though I'm perfectly well now, I still have these "Waaah, I nearly DIED" moments. I feel so stupid, I really do. However, my lovely PTSD counsellor says that what happened or how long ago it happened is of no importance. It's how you feel right now that counts.

OP, you need to be much kinder to yourself ! You said you have 6 children, so you must have spent a huge amount of time over the last few years nurturing and caring for others. No matter how much you enjoy your children, I imagine that has also involved a lot of hard work! You describe marriage problems and illness as "minor things" by comparing them to being in a war zone...but they are actually pretty big things as they are so central to your emotional life and, in the case of health, your LIFE full stop! You may well have some kind of PTSD and if you explored this with a counsellor, it might be of huge benefit to you. Please don't tell yourself that your pain and suffering is so minimal...it really isn't and I hope you can get whatever help and support you need to help you recover.

Please get some real life counselling. Maybe ask about EMDR.

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Post-traumatic-stress-disorder/Pages/Treatment.aspx

Please do not feel uncomfortable about not getting over your own personal tragedies and issues to the time frame of others. Just because other people have moved on in relation to you and your issues, or other people moved on faster with their own similar issues - None of these things matter in relation to you.

You've carefully not said the exact issues are but I can imagine a multitude of issues relating to having a child and being married.

Be kind to yourself. Find the right help. Talk to friends you can trust,

Do not allow anyone to make you feel in the wrong for dealing with your issues in your own time and way.