Honestly...am I just a rebound

[Tawnyyyyowl]

Met a guy when he was in a 5 year relationship. I met him in July and by September they had split.

He asked me out two weeks after they split and within a month we had moved in together. We rented an apartment near my parents and then moved nearer his work.

He introduced me to his family, our families get on great. He seems to really like me and is by no means desperate. He has a lot of women that like him and could have asked any of them out. He must have liked me to choose to ask me.

But then there's this feeling that now the relationship has got to this stage (we've been together since October 2017) it's not actually going any further.

I noticed on his Facebook that before asking me out he had put loads of pics of his ex on his Facebook in a very obvious attempt to make his ex jealous. This is obviously really immature and I'm thinking if he's that immature did he just get with me to make his ex jealous. We're both 25.

But moving in with someone is a bit of an extreme way to do that and we've been together almost a year now.

He's blocked her on Facebook now so it's no longer for her benefit as she doesn't even see our posts.

However he does like other girls profile pics still and does seem quite flirty. We seem to have a good relationship and get on so well though.

It seems a shame for me to feel this way. AIBU?

The reason this has come about is because I went to a friends house and there was a woman there. She was drunk and told me that my boyfriend (she's didn't know we were dating) was always horrible to her. Flirted with everyone but kept saying she was ugly and would deliberately flirt with everyone in front of her in the hope of making her jealous. She said he's an embarrassment and said she bets he's 'now trying to make his ex jealous'.

Maybe I shouldn't have listened to it but it got me nervous.

Him and his ex split in September 2016. We got together in October 2016. Not 2017.

Yes

I don't see why you would think that if he hasn't given you any reason to believe so, other than being a bit flirty.

I met my current boyfriend about a year ago and we got together in August 2016, immediately after breaking off our respective 4 and 10 year relationships. It's not a rebound for either of us, sometimes you just click with someone.

He does sound a bit immature in general, but that sounds more like just his personality rather than you being a rebound, unless there's some other reason to believe that.

Tell him what drunk woman said and see how he reacts? It might be that she is just bitter at being rejected, and making up negative stories.

We met when he was still with his girlfriend. But he had no interest in me at the time. When he was with her and on his graduation he put a pic pic of the two of them saying how she was the only one for him and he couldn't wait to spend the rest of his life with her.

Two weeks later she had left him and then he immediately asked me out.
I feel like the posts he puts up of is are designed to make her jealous with big heart emojis next to all our pics. I get the feeling he wants to make her jealous rather than having genuinely got over his ex. He said they both agreed t split but I think it was her that made the final decision.

The friend who made the comment about him trying to make his ex jealous showed me a Facebook message. He had messaged her asking how she was and clearly trying to open up conversation so it seems his insistence that he didn't like her doesn't seem true. She thinks it was because she didn't wish him happy birthday or actively flirt with him and he didn't appreciate it. He seemed angry with her when I saw them interact as well as being very shy with her. Definitely seemed uncomfortable with her anyway. Maybe she creeps him out.

What is your gut instinct telling you OP? Has he given you reason to think you're just a rebound? Most people who rebound don't move in with their partners and continue to live with them for 8 months. He would have scarpered by now if he was going to.

It does appear from what you said he may have been trying to make his ex jealous.... but it could also be that maybe he feels you're are right for him hence all the Facebook pics. I would t read too much into Facebook anyway, you never can tell what is behind a status or whatever.

Just trust your gut reaction.

He had messaged her asking how she was and clearly trying to open up conversation so it seems his insistence that he didn't like her doesn't seem true. She thinks it was because she didn't wish him happy birthday or actively flirt with him and he didn't appreciate it. He seemed angry with her when I saw them interact as well as being very shy with her.

Sorry OP but I struggled to understand any of this. He messaged his ex or the woman at the party?

Why was he angry and shy at the same time? Because someone didn't wish him happy birthday?? Or flirt...?

It sounds as though you very much rushed into things. You need to have a proper chat with him, tell him what you're worrying about.

What do you mean when you say it's not going any further? You're living together when you've only been together under a year, how is that going nowhere?

And re the message the friend showed you, was it to his ex (and if so why would she have a message to his ex?). Not sure I'm understanding that bit properly.

Agree with Honey that it does seem you've rushed the getting to know each other stage but each to their own. Might be worth having a talk with him but at 25 you're young. You've been together less than 12 months. Maybe take it easy if you've been having doubts?

Sounds like he's trying to prove a point of how happy he is especially as she dumped him. You don't get over someone after 5 years I struggled after 2. I got with another lad and it lasted a month. It took me a good year get over it and then I met dh. I think you already know the answer to this though op.

I think it's clear it was the mutual friend not the ex that he text.