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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want DS to go to the beach after school?

53 replies

newsparklylife · 21/07/2017 07:26

DS finishes year 8 today at 1.15pm. Apparently ALL his friends are going to the beach and he wants to go with them. 1) we currently have a weather warning in place for severe rain and gale force winds 2) he has no idea how they are getting there and thinks he knows how they are getting home (I currently have no car so have arranged a lift for him at 1.15pm) 3) his mobile phone apparently doesn't work but there is no service anyway at the beach they want to go to and 4) he's such an argumentative little shite at the moment and has been so rude to me this morning I don't think he deserves to go.

It's already pouring with rain. Would you let him go?

OP posts:

NormaSmuff · 21/07/2017 08:17

User
did you not read post saying I'm concerned about the lack of phone service (his friend has my phone number and could phone me if it would work) but I will literally have to have someone just waiting to collect him when he calls (which seems a bit of a cheek)

that is my main reason, the lack of a lift, aside from weather predictions of course.

LazyDailyMailJournos · 21/07/2017 08:23

OP YANBU. I cannot think of a worse place to be in storm force winds and rain. People have died as a result of being swept into the water by huge waves. 12-13 y/o as a general rule are not renowned for being sensible and risk aware and the lack of phone signal if something did go wrong, makes it even worse.

strawberrygate · 21/07/2017 08:26

I'd let him go. He's in year 8, more than old enough to look after himself. He'll hate you with a passion if you make him miss out

PinkDaffodil2 · 21/07/2017 08:31

If you trust him not to be unsafe, then you could leave it up to him but make it clear you're not able to give him a lift so that would be up to him to arrange. Silly for you to have someone else on standby if he won't give you a plan. Then it gives him a get out without you being the bad guy.

caffeinestream · 21/07/2017 08:32

Nope, YANBU.

The sea is dangerous, especially in gale force winds and when there's going to be a bunch of giddy teens running about with no supervision, hyper because it's school holidays.

People get swept/blown into the sea every year around here, or drown because they think they're somehow stronger than the weather. And these are grown men!

Him wanting to have some fun does not trump his safety.

babybythesea · 21/07/2017 08:35

Saw the Cornish bit and no, I wouldn't. Looking out of my window now the plants in our garden are all horizontal in the wind and we're leaving for school a bit earlier as I suspect there will be branches on the road I might need to navigate round and shift. No way would I let my kids down to the beach while it's like this.

MrsJayy · 21/07/2017 08:36

I see you are in Corwall after what happened the other day with the weather i wouldn't let him go either sometimes we need to step in and say no sometimes and this is one of those times he has the whole sumer to go to the beach.

Chocolatecake12 · 21/07/2017 08:37

You need to get his mobile phone sorted for the summer holidays. A quick text to say he's safe or explain how he's getting home etc will put your mind at rest.
I think because of the weather they will arrange something else. Will you let him go if they decide to go to the cinema? Or bowling?
I think that what they do on the last day of term can really shape their summer. It certainly did last year for my ds and this year seems to be heading the same way - he went to the beach after school yesterday, his friend slept over and they were planning the summer last night!

MrsJayy · 21/07/2017 08:38

I think it is fine for teenagers to hate us with a passion occasionally

IHateUncleJamie · 21/07/2017 08:40

YANBU on the basis that going to the beach in gale force winds and/or flood warnings is asking for trouble.

chitofftheshovel · 21/07/2017 08:53

TBH looking at the weather down here I expect they won't want to go anyway.
My year 7 was planning on hanging out with friends. I suspect he'll be back on the bus.

Babbitywabbit · 21/07/2017 08:55

Is it the potential danger of the beach that's the main issue, or the fact that you can't drive and feel someone will be inconvenienced by being on stand by to pick him up?

I can understand the former, but the latter will still apply if they change their plans (as teenagers do several times a day, and almost certainly will when they realise a beach in pissing rain is not fun.) my guess is they'll end up mooching around in town, cinema, or similar. There will still be the issue of needing a lift but it's not his fault you're unable to drive at the moment and I agree with others that preventing him
From hanging out with his mates on the last day of term will make him feel left out. You say you have other stuff arranged for the summer which is great, but for teenagers, a big part of their social life is the organic stuff which just happens. Presumably his friends will all need a lift to whatever they do after school today as you say it's not walkable, so I imagine other parents will also be thinking the same about the beach, but please don't prevent him from going out with them elsewhere

As for the 'being a little shite' ... do you mean normal teenage behaviour or actually being rude and unpleasant in an unacceptable way? If the latter, deal with that as a separate issue.

Original poster

newsparklylife · 21/07/2017 09:05

I am concerned from the danger point of view. The wind is now horrendous and still torrential rain.

Mobile phone will be sorted asap.

I am having issues with his behaviour recently. He feels the world owes him something and he's so hard done by. Normal teenage behaviour maybe?

Have said he is to come home today and will arrange other stuff with friends when I can drive. Have confirmed with one of his friend's parents they've also said no due to weather.

OP posts:

whatdoessheknow · 21/07/2017 09:09

Where on earth do you live that it's torrential rain and gales? . Are you in U.K.? It's sunny and warm in London.

Pengggwn · 21/07/2017 09:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsJayy · 21/07/2017 09:15

Did you not see the news recently whatdoes people were evacuated from their house in a cornish village which flooded and a road was destroyed by the weather

TheWitchAndTrevor · 21/07/2017 09:15

Where on earth do you live that it's torrential rain and gales? shock. Are you in U.K.? It's sunny and warm in London

Yes the whole of the UK has the same weather everyday

Maybe look at the news, or weather reports........

RolfNotRudolf · 21/07/2017 09:16

London weather does not determine the weather in the rest of the UK - which is quite a big place when it comes to climate. And the OP has already said she's in Cornwall - and it's been on the national news that the weather has been absolutely foul there this week.

Loopytiles · 21/07/2017 09:20

No brainer no, on safety grounds. Plus, since you've had surgery your needs trump his wishes at present.

bigbluebus · 21/07/2017 09:52

Where on earth do you live that it's torrential rain and gales? shock. Are you in U.K.? It's sunny and warm in London.

Yes Carol on the BBC weather told us all about the clear skies in London this morning. I looked out of my window to see it piing it down and the trees bending from side to side. Not everyone gets the same weather in the UK whatdoessheknow

Oblomov17 · 21/07/2017 10:02

I have similar with ds1 today, but they are not going to the beach, just the next town to play football.

Oblomov17 · 21/07/2017 10:03

3 other yr8 mums told me that they were also getting exactly this:

"I am having issues with his behaviour recently. He feels the world owes him something and he's so hard done by. Normal teenage behaviour maybe? "

Oblomov17 · 21/07/2017 10:06

Which beach? Polzeath? Or Newquay? Are these boys surfer types, who know and respect the sea?

Babbitywabbit · 21/07/2017 13:01

Forecast for much of Cornwall is much better for this afternoon so it could be absolutely fine

Original poster

newsparklylife · 21/07/2017 13:43

Still pouring with rain and grim. DS is now home ensconced on his Xbox. Appears I wasn't the only parent with beach issues. Beach trip another day I think!

We are much further down west than Newquay.

OP posts:

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