To think it's really hard to have a sensible friend, who can keep a secret and not have judgey pants?

[Idontneedanotherhero]

Just that really. I'm probably the secretive type, always have been. But people have always come to me with their problems, and that's also fine, I don't mind and I can keep a secret. However, I don't easily talk about my problems, and all the people I have available I find or suspect to be untrustworthy! Perhaps the problem is mine but I am fairly sure I am right. So, how does one find a trustworthy friend??

I'm a sensible friend who's not judgey. There are people!

And my mouth is the buck that stops. I never tell. Anything.

I am that person too. My friends think that I am such a positive person - almost zen, and my life is stress-free, because I am able to handle so much, etc.... I often fantasies about losing my shit and telling them what's actually going on in my universe. (Like the fact that I am able to handle so much is because I have to - I know nobody else is going to take it on!)

My most trustworthy friend I found in an online forum over ten years ago. She lives in Australia and doesn't know anybody in my life so that sorts out the keeping a secret bit. And she's a thoroughly decent person who's also intelligent and gives good advise.

@manymanyshoes - all the best people live in Australia!

You can tell me anything and I won't tell a soul. You don't even have to say 'Don't tell anyone'

However I know so many people that have no boundaries and will tell everybody anything at the first opportunity. News that isn't their news to tell, stuff like that.

Surely that's what mumsnet is for? Absolutely privacy. Not telling I understand, but judging? I expect good friends to judge me and tell me if I've done something egregious and I would do the same for them. Real friendship isn't a 'you're so great' echo chamber it's about being there for whatever and being honest.

Oh my god, why have I never thought of a pen friend! Inspired!

I'm silent as the grave also. Your secrets are safe with me.

justilou it is hard to deny that when all my best friends seem to end up there!

If I am told a secret, it stays with me, period. However, I never share my secrets with anyone except my husband. Ever. I have yet to find anyone else trustworthy enough.

Are you shagging a friend's DH or something?