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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Fucking BIKES for 100% attendance?? Has the world gone mad??

356 replies

FizzyCherry · 20/07/2017 22:38

I know this is the whole 100% attendance thing again, but I have literally seen it all now.
Not one but TWO people on my FB time line have posted pics of their kids with brand new bikes awarded for 100% attendance. AIBU to think that's taking the piss now?

The weird thing is, it's not the same school, not even the same county - they don't know each other, one parent is an old school friend in the South West, the other a former colleague in the north.

In each case, every child with 100% attendance was given a raffle ticket, the prize was a new bike. Only one prize, apparently, so none of this whole class goes to the zoo thing.
Both are primary school age, one Yr 2, the other Y4.
So these are two that I know of, how many other children are being given something that some of their peers is can only dream of, just for turning up?

My school dropped attendance certificates this year as they were felt to be divisive. How divisive is spending £100 on just one kid?

Am I missing something here, or what?

OP posts:
MrsJamin · 22/07/2017 22:55

What about the kids who didn't go to the cooking afternoon because they had sick bugs, or had to attend medical appointments? Don't you feel sorry for them @Imabadmummy? How bloody selfish. It's discrimination of the ill and I won't agree with anything else.

user1498726699 · 22/07/2017 23:03

Ds2 had 100% attendance all through school until Yr 10 when he was given 2 fixed term exclusions within a few months of each other. I must admit I was rather annoyed that this counts as absence!

I don't agree with 'rewards', especially at Primary as the DC have little control over it. I was amazed when DS3 got a full day off school, to be taken to an activity out of town, as a reward for full attendance in Reception. That was rather ironic.

HorridHenrietta23 · 23/07/2017 03:16

Worst example I've seen:
Twin girls, both with CP. Twin A slightly better than twin B. Twin B took two days off school following an operation directly related to the CP. apart from that both had 100% attendance. Twin A got taken on a day trip to London, Twin B got left behind. I was horrified to say the least!!

DixieNormas · 23/07/2017 03:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Weebo · 23/07/2017 05:11

That is horrible Dixie. Sad

Weebo · 23/07/2017 05:26

Let's put it down to this for those in favour of these awards.

How would you feel knowing your children are having a great time on a bouncy castle whilst others who have been less fortunate look on?

Through no fault of their own, these kids are left out be it because of disability, illness, bereavement or even just lazy parents.

MrsJamin · 23/07/2017 06:31

Exactly weebo, there's no way I would feel happy for my child to get rewards for attendance when others less fortunate look on without them, it's disgusting.

Generallyok · 23/07/2017 07:06

Thankfully my children's school doesn't give out awards but we are given letters if our attendance dips down too low which annoys me. I know several parents who boast that they send their children in poorly but dose them up before they go. We have several children in school with compromised immunity and this makes me so cross. My dd had scarlet fever recently and was very poorly. I found out afterwards that another child in his clsss had it mildly and went to school as usual. His mother works and they child often says to my son "oh I was sick last night but my mum says I have to go to school. It's great to
Bring them up with such "a great work ethic"!

Weebo · 23/07/2017 07:30

The entire system is a complete joke.

Punishing teachers for the poor attendance of their class is simply putting a bitter barrier between educators and the children and families who probably need their help most.

Rewarding good health and/or a stable home life is cruel.

DixieNormas · 23/07/2017 10:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MoronsandNeurons · 23/07/2017 10:13

Being ill or bereaved has nothing to do with 'having a good work ethic in their school 'career'' Hmm
I really dislike attendance awards, I feel they are discriminatory, there's some awful examples mentioned here. And if you are encouraging better attendance you should target the parents, not penalise the kids. If that's the case I also think sickness and bereavement shouldn't count. It's a ridiculous system.

MoronsandNeurons · 23/07/2017 10:14

*As in sickness etc. shouldn't stop you having 100% attendance. It's not fair.

twinklings · 23/07/2017 10:34

Oh this all just sucks - my dc didn't get to go into the draw because he had one hospital appointment which I managed to get a 7.30 am appointment so he was exactly 15 minutes late - by some fluke and he has never ever missed a day off or been late. Then he had an injury which meant he was 30 minutes late.

Both times I rang the school.

Both times he was questioned about why he was late by their attendance person who has a really quite mean manner about her.

His lovely teacher tried to get him 100 percent but the attendance person said no.

All this is just rubbish. So in total he missed 45 minutes of school over 3 years.

And I don't know how schools get away with this from a disability or illness perspective.

We always respect the school holidays never book any leave.

But when I saw his little friends face - friend ha a serious illness and dies brilliantly at school despite having to have operations - it just was awful.

The way the attendance officer speaks to parents and children is just awful - it is the only thing about the school I dislike.

Catchytune · 23/07/2017 10:52

toosexy you made the comments about adults. I'm saying that's bollocks. One persons ill is not another's.

Again though not every child will stand any chance of winning the sports prize or the music awards. Music lessons and instruments cost a shit load of money. Is it not unfair that some get music prizes?
The idea of an attendance award is to stress the importance of school. It doesn't mean everyone can win it anymore than everyone can be an outstanding sportsman or top of the class for English.

MrsJamin · 23/07/2017 11:00

Catchytune this is discrimination, I can't see how you can see it any other way. My eldest has hospital appointments at least once a term that are in school time and cannot be rearranged. Should I not take him to hospital to see a consultant just so he can get a reward? Should I risk him not being able to walk properly as an adult? This is all bollocks and good for you that you don't have a child with ongoing medical needs.

pinkmagic1 · 23/07/2017 11:11

I Hate these attendance awards and the example Dixie gave is extremely cruel.
As pp have said children can't help being ill and some with serious conditions, requiring multiple hospital visits are being penalised judging by this thread.
A child can't control the fact that their grandparent has died for instance and they have to take a day off to attend the funeral and they are not at fault even if they have lazy, feckless parents who can't be arsed to take them to school at infant and primary level.

toosexyforyahshirt · 23/07/2017 11:25

toosexy you made the comments about adults. I'm saying that's bollocks. One persons ill is not another's

You're still not getting it. It's still luck, its luck that you are well enough to go to work rather than be in hospital. It's luck that you didn't get cancer or epilepsy or a broken leg. It's just pure fucking LUCK.
The same random luck that apparently gave you the IQ of a chair.

DixieNormas · 23/07/2017 12:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

glitterlips1 · 23/07/2017 13:53

What about the kids who didn't go to the cooking afternoon because they had sick bugs, or had to attend medical appointments?

Not my child's concern!

toosexyforyahshirt · 23/07/2017 14:03

Not my child's concern!

well as long as your kid is happy, who gives a fuck about anyone else's, hey?
Them sickly and disabled kids can fuck off for themselves, can't they?

Spikeyball · 23/07/2017 14:09

Yes discrimination's ok as long as it's not your child that is being discriminated against glitterlips1.

GraceGrape · 23/07/2017 14:10

I suspect the smug parents on here who are of the attitude that their child's attendance is down to their own superior parenting will change their tune if their child is struck down by chicken pox or breaks their leg. DH and I are both teachers and it's very difficult to take time off so our kids are only kept home if they are genuinely too poorly to attend. DD had an excellent attendance record until she needed two weeks off after an unfortunate accident that could have happened to anyone.

KeepServingTheDrinks · 24/07/2017 00:06

Hi

I was on this thread earlier, but haven't been on line for a few days (I've looked at MN, but not been able to post). I'd like to apologise for how (I'm trying to think of the right word) - 'in your face'? - I was. And particularly, apologise to Weebo, who I see is still posting [Was going to PM you, but as you're still seeing the thread, I'll do it publicly]. Thank you for what you said to me, and please accept my sincere apology to you. I'd JUST finished work for the summer and was in that manic phase of being in 'work mode' and being scared to stop because of how much I still had to do, but knew I was going away. Does that make sense? I was on 'transmit' and not receive. I didn't really take in what you were trying to say, but I have heard you now and apologise for being blinkered.

But whilst I'm sorry for being all rumbustious and bombastic, I do still work for schools, and attendance is part of my role, and it's tough. I'd point out that about 10 pages ago, I did ask for suggestions of how to do things better, and there weren't many suggestions, but everything suggested the 2 schools I work for already do regularly.

I won't go on again about how OFSTED decree it, so schools need to do what they can - this point has been made several times by people who say thing better than me.

I'm so, so sorry for people on this thread with SEN children or children with serious illnesses (or both!); and you're all right - your kids aren't going to win awards for 100% attendance. Of course they aren't. But that awards system isn't to penalize them, it's the others. It's the parents who keep kids off because they've had a sniffle, or a late night, or a good deal for a long weekend away, or the DC don't like PE/Swimming etc.
There's lots of evidence that just turning up at school improves your attainment. The brightest will be the brightest anyway, but the rest need all the support they can get, and being in school is part of that support. So schools aren't wrong to do what they can to get kids to turn up (regardless of OFSTED. It's OFSTED that force schools into doing something, but whilst I think OFSTED is crap and best ignored, there is proper evidence that being in school boosts attainment. And I liked a PP who pointed out that the kid that's off does disrupt the class because they need to be caught up). There's loads that most of you don't see, or only see the periphery of - letters home, regular phone calls, home visits, meetings etc. Those are ALL with the parents, and the kids don't know and don't feel any stigma.

And I said this really early in the thread. If you've got some PROPER reason that you need to miss school (because of appointments or bereavement or whatever) then the school should be looking to 'celebrate' you in other ways, and if your school doesn't do this for your DC, then I would urge you to change schools. You should also receive lots of support in other ways too, which might be work being sent home if you request it, maybe benefits [I know the money isn't the point]. You should be cut slack in all sorts of areas, and school should be understanding to you and sympathetic. In my schools we do really feel for those families who've got it tough, and we do do what we can to help (I make loads of calls at parents' request, and help with paperwork and stuff where I'm asked to. I've even gone along to appointments and things where a parent wants someone to sit in with them). This is a tiny detail, but do you all know about the codes in registers? I'll post it if it would be helpful. It's national (don't know so much about Wales, Scotland and Ireland, but I can post if for people in England and talk you through it). But basically there are absences which are 'authorised' and those which are 'unathorised'. They're all still absences, but you'd NEVER get a fine or other penalty with an authorised one.

The systems the schools have built in don't cover many of you on this thread. Because your families don't make up the majority of children in mainstream education. You can argue this is right or wrong, but a service as big as "education" is built on the majority. However, my other thought reading this thread over the weekend was - if you have a child with a disability (in the broadest senses) you can ask for a 'reasonable adjustment'. (so, a basic example is that a child in a wheelchair isn't denied access because of stairs). If you feel that strongly about attendance awards, then I think you should individually talk to your HTs about a 'reasonable adjustment' being made to include your child for absences which are authorised. I think your Head would be hard-pushed to say 'no'; although if I were a HT (I'm very much not, I'm way down on the pay-scale/responsibility!) what I'd say to that is "yes, as long as you're only out for exactly as long as the appointment and then straight back to school'. So if you have an appointment at 1:30, and if finishes at 2:30, you bring your child in even if it's only for the last 15 - 20 minutes of the school day. Or if you have an appointment at 11, your child comes into school until as long as it takes you to get to hospital.
Schools don't tend to give parents a hard time for this one, but lots of parents don't bring their children into school for the morning/afternoon/whole day when the child has an appointment mid-morning/lunchtime. Understand if the appointment is for something invasive or painful, but often a child could be in school for some part of the day and isn't.

ALSO, going back to the original argument, and not including the PPs with children with severe needs (not to be rude or to exclude you, just to speak to the majority); one of things primary schools do (or should do) is prepare kids to be ready for secondary. Yes - in primaries, it's mostly the parents who bring their children to school or don't; but in secondary it's far more up to the kids. So in the same way that in reception, school letters are put in kids bags; in KS 1, letters are given to children to put in their bags; in KS 2, letters are put on the side the children to take (same with homework). Attendance is the same thing. Primaries should be preparing children to think coming to school is what you should be doing (I'm not talking about those with serious illness, like many of the PPs - you're the extreme. I'm talking about the majority).

This is very long! My hope here is to understand what has been written in the 13 pages of this thread and give a more sensible and sensitive (ish) response than I did in the first few pages, whilst still understanding where it is schools are coming from and why. Sorry if this post doesn't do that... I've been in the car for a looooong time today, and been thinking about this all the while.

HelenaDove · 24/07/2017 00:27

"The bus that lots of children from further away need to use doesn't get them there on time. It's all shite"

Im guessing that the way things are now, they thought they might as well teach kids about the "postcode lottery" early! Hmm

Weebo · 24/07/2017 00:56

Awh, KeepServing I really appreciate that. Thank you.

It's an emotive subject for many but I think it's important not to have a 'them and us' attitude when it comes to parents and the people who work in education. It's easy to lock horns.

I have a HUGE amount of respect for people in your profession and can only imagine how frazzled you must be at this time of year.

Hopefully, you can enjoy a well-deserved break over the summer - Although if MN has taught me anything it's that work doesn't stop for you just because the term ends!

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