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AIBU?

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Original poster

Rent from partner - what is reasonable?

70 replies

Olivia11 · 20/07/2017 00:03

My DP and I are planning to move in together in September. His preference would have been for me to leave my flat (which I own) and to rent a house together but we have agreed that initially he will move into my flat and we will reassess after 6 months. I think this makes sense for both of us as it gives us flexibility if things go wrong between us (which I hope they won't!) but it was really my decision.

We have not yet had a discussion about how finances will work when he moves in. Obviously I am expecting that we will split gas/electricity/increased council tax. But I don't really know what to suggest on my fixed bills and on rent. I don't really mind if he pays me or not - I am comfortably off and my costs won't increase as a result of him moving in. I quite like the fact that my flat is mine and I can see that maybe he would resent contributing to my mortgage when it wasn't his choice to live in my flat. On the other hand, it doesn't seem quite right that I would pay all of our living costs, particularly given that he earns considerably more than me. Whilst I don't need the money, it would of course be helpful - occasionally he wants to have extravagant meals out etc., which I cannot comfortably afford (sometimes I rein him in and sometimes I accept his offers to pay). Would it be reasonable to ask him to contribute about half market rate? This is a lot less than he is paying in rent at the moment and would cover about a quarter of my mortgage each month. Or should I just leave it and assume that if things do work out we'll share finances anyway and if they don't then I am lucky to be secure in my flat and not have to move etc.?

I do of course appreciate that we are both very fortunate and that this is a nice problem to have but I would genuinely welcome views on what is reasonable here. I'm conscious this sounds a bit glass half empty - I do think things will work out between us but, having seen my DM go through a terrible divorce and suffer financially, I just want to make sure that I have thought about things in advance.

OP posts:
NikiBabe · 20/07/2017 02:48

How serious is the relationship?

If you're not sure don't charge him rent. If he begins to pay rent which you put towards your mortgage he could have a claim in equity to some of the proceeds of your house.

NikiBabe · 20/07/2017 02:48

If you break up that is

Penny4UrThoughts · 20/07/2017 05:04

worridmum, op clearly states that half market rent is about quarter of the mortgage. Which is less than your proposed third of the mortgage.

Good luck with this op, I don't have anything new to add that hasn't already been said.

Joey7t8 · 20/07/2017 06:14

You need to check out the legal facts on this one OP. If you become a cohabiting couple and he pays towards the mortgage, then he will have a legal claim on an appropriate proportion of any equity gained on your house in this time.

You'd be better off not charging any rent.

QuiteLikely5 · 20/07/2017 06:28

You say he earns considerably more than you and that you are hoping to share your income in the future?

Well he is not going to be happy with sharing his income if you force him into paying your mortgage is he?

Because you are talking six months I would ask for a contribution towards your bills and nothing else.

He didn't want to go to your place anyway.

drinkingtea · 20/07/2017 06:34

I owned a flat when I met DH. It felt like a no brained to sell it or rent it out (I looked into both options) and rent together for a year before deciding whether to buy together, which is what we did.

There are so many pit falls to be partner moving into the other's property, it's so unequal, plus the risk of the one who moves in claiming to have helped pay the mortgage if you charge rent and don't have a formal contract defining them as a lodger.

I'd really think about renting your flat out and moving into a rental on equal terms instead.

BertieBotts · 20/07/2017 06:38

Do you have children?

TheDowagerCuntess · 20/07/2017 06:39

I don't understand why he wouldn't pay rent. It's unfair on you, otherwise. If you were to move in somewhere else altogether, you'd both be paying rent.

And I don't understand why he also just wouldn't pay half - of the weekly or monthly mortgage amount, rather than the market rate. If it's market rate, then one or other of you is getting an unfairly good deal.

You probably do have to draw up paperwork, just as if you were renting it to an unknown. It's too potentially messy, otherwise.

TheDowagerCuntess · 20/07/2017 06:39

When DH and I moved in together, he moved out of his mortgage flat, and we rented together.

It seemed less risky.

cpjoli · 20/07/2017 06:42

We had the same when I moved in with DH. I refused to pay towards his mortgage so I paid an equivalent amount towards bills and pay for food. Luckily it worked out roughly the same.
Hope you can sort it.

Mummyoflittledragon · 20/07/2017 06:44

I agree with renting the flat out. However, the tax rules for claiming tax relief on mortgage interest payments and cgt allowances have changed. So this would need to be assessed first.

donajimena · 20/07/2017 06:50

If he's paying rent (half the mortgage) then he's paying off YOUR asset. As others have suggested the equivalent money should go into another account for future moving costs or a holiday because it would be unfair for him to have a hefty slush fund due to not paying any living costs. But paying of your asset is also unfair. Use the rent money as something that will help your joint futures as opposed to his fillet steaks

Rhubarbtart9 · 20/07/2017 06:53

He can pay half the bills. Then put the equivalent of what you pay mortgage wise into a shared account. If you split up it would need to be split equally.

StripeyDeckchair · 20/07/2017 06:59

Whatever you do get a legal agreement re rent & bills set up including maint. What you don't want is him claiming a share of your flat by virtue of having lived there and contributed to bills, the agreement should specifically state that at no time and in no way is he to be considered a co-owner or to gain any equity in the flat.

This is crucial you could loose your home if you split.

MrsPicklesonSmythe · 20/07/2017 07:01

I think 50/50 on everything is fair. He'd be paying more in rent and can afford it. If he doesn't want to do this it'd be a red flag for me anyway. I own my place on my own and my other half pays all the mortgage, cars and extras and I pay bills and food shopping which amounts to around 50/50. The way we see it he he's invested in the relationship then he'll benefit from it later on anyway as we'll rent my place and use that towards somewhere shared. He'd have lost any rent he would have paid anyway so I don't see the difference.

MrsPicklesonSmythe · 20/07/2017 07:05

I can't edit my reply but meant to say in your position I'd do it the other way round have him pay bills etc and you pay mortgage, council tax etc to roughly 50/50

GreenTulips · 20/07/2017 07:16

My DH lived in and there was no question of him not paying half
He'd rather I had extra than a landlord - this freed up some money for joint holidays etc

He actually paid £100 above half - this was used for replacing items as and when needed - so no issue of the cooker broke

WonderLime · 20/07/2017 07:21

50/50 on all bills and food. Not the mortgage. Instead suggest that he puts the money into savings for your futures.

If you start charging him rent and things don't work out, he can argue that a landlord/tenant relationship agrees and you could have trouble removing him from your property. And as others have correctly pointed out, he could have grounds to argue that he has a stake in the house.

The other issue is that, realistically, will he have the same rights as you in your home? Will you let him move all his furniture in? Will have a room of his space? Do you even want that?

I had a friend who moved in with her partner in his home (that he was paying the mortgage for). She paid half, but he didn't want her to change anything. She had no real space for her stuff and had to put most of it storage. He would get upset if she moved anything. She effectively ended up with less rights than an actual tenant.

supersop60 · 20/07/2017 07:31

Half of all household outgoings. You can put the money you are now saving into a 'new house' account. It doesn't matter that you are comfortably off - he is an adult and needs to pay an adult share.

MouseholeCat · 20/07/2017 07:36

I liked the way my friend did it when she moved into her DP's owned house- he paid the mortgage, and she put away equivalent into a high-interest savings account whilst they decided whether they wanted to buy together. When they sold, they had a sizeable joint deposit for a larger house. Wouldn't work for everyone, but they were pretty serious about staying together.

Joinourclub · 20/07/2017 07:45

I'd open up a joint account for bills, and he should pay the rent into there. You can then use that money for meals out / holidays / or put towards deposit for eventual joint purchase. I definitely dontv Honk a partner should live rent free just because the other person owns the property.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 20/07/2017 08:03

My SIL paid Db half the rent that she had been paying on her old house share. This meant that they were both better of than before by the same amount. They both saved the amount in separate accounts and then put it towards the house they bought together.

Had they split up,then SIL would have been able to use the money as a deposit towards her own house.

Temporary2002 · 20/07/2017 08:07

He should pay 50% of all bills.

Catra · 20/07/2017 08:07

I had a similar situation when my then DP first moved into the house I owned. Initially he paid 50% of everything including my mortgage as it was still significantly less than he would have paid to rent somewhere comparable.

6 year later we're married and we pay proportionally to how much we earn, so he now pays significantly more than 50%. He's never had an issue with this and it's what we consider as fair.

TheNaze73 · 20/07/2017 08:12

I agree with worldmum

The normal advice on here is don't prop up his mortgage. Weird?!

Personally, whoever is moving in should pay half of mortgage, bills & food etc

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