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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit annoyed whenever friend slags off where I live?

13 replies

SydneyJones · 19/07/2017 21:56

I still live in the city I grew up in. I have lots of friends and family here and I've done a lot of travelling.

My friend (also grew up here) moved to a different city (an hours drive away) and whenever I see her she just bitches about what a shit hole my city is.

I kind of get offended because it's almost like she's judging me at the same time. Aibu?

OP posts:
AtHomeDadGlos · 19/07/2017 21:59

That depends. Is it a shithole?

Hedgehogparty · 19/07/2017 21:59

I'd just tell her you don't appreciate her views as you find them offensive and you'd like her to stop.
Her reaction should guide you as to what to do next.

Original poster
SydneyJones · 19/07/2017 22:01

The area has its good and bad parts like everywhere.

It's not a massive city but at the same time she's hardly emigrated to Los Angeles.

OP posts:
DirigiblePlums · 19/07/2017 22:06

I know what you mean, it's quite rude actually because I've had this before. I can Slag off where I live but I feel like if certain other people do it, then it feels like they're making fun, it really annoys me.

PoppyTree · 19/07/2017 22:12

Urgh I HATE that when someone moves from their home town (or city) and then slags it off, and thinks the place they have moved to is much better. Hmm (And they are better than you because they have moved away.) It's good to travel and spread your wings, but to look down on people who don't is just nasty.

BunnyBardot · 19/07/2017 22:17

I think a lot of people from London feel that way when people talk about how busy and expensive it is, and how they can't imagine why all Londoners don't all move to [random village]. So it doesn't just happen with small towns.

If she's going on about it a lot it seems she doth protest too much...

Changednamejustincase · 19/07/2017 22:20

I have a friend who really lays this on thick every time I see her. I just think 'dick' quite loudly in my head and try to move on.

pinkdelight · 19/07/2017 22:22

It's not your city exclusively though. If she grew up their it's hers too and can slag it off from her perspective. If somewhere you grew up felt like a shithole and formed you that's a big enough part of your identity to not brush over if it comes up. Agree it's not tactful given that you disagree, but if you're mates you can say you like it and why. If you feel it's not a shithole, great. You don't need her to agree.

KanielOutis · 20/07/2017 07:09

I have friends who moan and moan that they can't afford to buy anything and then in the next breath say they wouldn't live where I live. I can't afford to buy in the affluent parts of town, or the trendy areas, but where I live is just fine. It's their problem not yours. You are happy where you are so that's all that matters.

Screwinthetuna · 20/07/2017 07:22

I have a family member who does this. Lived in my town for the best part of 30 years and is now nothing but horrible about it.
Wouldn't mind but it really is so much nicer (and safer) than the shit hole of the nearby city she's moved to!

BasketOfDeplorables · 20/07/2017 08:29

I have the opposite of this - I grew up in a small town and live in London. I still visit family in the area and will bump into various people from school. Some of them seem to think living in London means I look down on them and really lay it on thick about how much they hate London - how busy, loud, dangerous it is 'ooh I couldn't live there' err, when did I ask you to move in?

I don't put much thought into where people choose to live, and think it's probably quite nice to live in a town where all your family are. I liked growing up in a small town and DP and I talk about it for when the children are a bit older. They have some ideas about London and success, which are nothing to do with me.

Maybe you could introduce your friend to mine, OP, and they can just snark at each other.

fiorentina · 20/07/2017 18:07

Some of my husbands friends still live in the awful town where he grew up and I see their social media posts about how awful it is and awful for their kids, his mother also always says it's awful and wonder why they didn't move away as they do have the means to. I wouldn't publically say that though.

Gowgirl · 20/07/2017 18:14

My former town is a hole but the locals dont know it because they are busy looking down on tourists during the summer and bognor in the winterGrin

They still feel free to make snarky remarks when i visit about how terrible and dangerous london is and if im going to move home to which i smile sweetly --origanally from west london i have moved home you twat

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