For being honest about a dress (lighthearted)

[dandelionyellow]

So my dn is getting married this year and my dsis just sent me two photos of dresses she has bought asking for my opinion and what accessories.

Both are lovely, and my dsis is a gorgeous lady but one of the dresses is white with blue flowers. It also looks a bit casual compared to the other one.

I raised my concern that although both lovely and suited her I thought the white one would be somewhat inappropriate for a wedding, especially her own daughter's (who is wearing white and can be a touch.... precious particularly when its her mum. They clash A LOT).

Then suggested some accessories for the other one.

She then replied saying her husband and other children said they preferred the white one so she'll be wearing that one. It's "posher" and she's found a white hat to go with it.

Aibu to think a) why ask my opinion if you're not going to like the response? And b) to think she's being somewhat inconsiderate towards her daughter, by wearing white (and bare in mind dn and I had a long conversation about who is wearing what colour and then only other person she will "allow" in a non bridezilla way is her flower girl).

Dn is going to go mad if she find out prior and it's going to cause a lot of arguments. 🙈🙈

Also when I sent my dsis my outfits she told me I needed to wear something "big and billowy" so I don't look "fat" and people won't "look at you too much". I'm currently 2 weeks post partum so feeling a touch precious anyway .

She also "kindly" told me I looked like a heifer when trying on wedding dresses and made me cry. She's not the most tactful of people.

You don't wear white to a wedding ESPECIALLY not your own daughter. Sounds like she's choosing to be a bit of a dick if they've clashed before and she knows that her daughter is a bit of a bridezilla anyway! So she is being unreasonable.

Wow shes a dick of a sister too! Disengage OP let her make her own mistakes.

Sounds like Dsis is a bit of a tyrant. But I guess you'd know that being her sister all this time :)

You tried, dsis ignored, leave them to it.
White with blue flowers doesn't sound inappropriate to me as not pure white.
Maybe suggest dais show dn the dress so they can ok it?

God, your sister sounds awful.

Do yourself a favor and REFUSE to give an opinion when she asks for one. Clearly, she isn't really interested in your opinion and only uses it as a way to kick things off. Sounds like your niece and your sister are cut from the same cloth.

She sounds like an asshole!
If that's the way she talks to you I'd tell her straight out its rude to wear white and it's not about her but her daughter to stop being so selfish!
I would be as blunt with her as she's being with you.
I hope the daughter finds out and turns bridezilla tbh.
Your lovely sis seems to like drama lol

Sorry, seen update, dsis sounds awful! Still advising letting them get on with it though

Step away and stay away. This won't be pretty and you don't want to be involved.

Where whatever you like and I'm sure you will look gorgeous. How about the white with blue flowers dress?!

Your sis sounds like cow, ignore her and leave her to get on with it

I thought I wasn't being mad!

Dn isn't a bridezilla but she gets very worked up over her mum. Tbf... so do I! 🙈

It just feels like a total lack of empathy on her part though and she doesn't think these things over properly.

She also came up with this grand idea of having our mum's ashes turned into a necklace to present to dn on her wedding day. I flat out refused and so did db.

She got really arsey but I reminded her there is about 10 grandkids and there are some other reasons too (very outing). Dn would be mortified and it would upset her (we've since discussed it between us)

All she could focus on was this "grand display" of giving her this piece of jewellery and how special it would be blah blah blah but forgetting a lot of other stuff. How it would be "their special moment" etc.

I don't think she's being intentionally mean etc but I don't think she thinks of the bigger picture.

For the record I am not wearing a white dress. And her dress is VERY white.

I won't be getting involved. Don't worry lol.

It sounds like she's very much for show and doesn't think of other people... therefore being selfish and enjoying a bit of drama.
Keep out of it and don't feed the drama queen
.. they thrive on drama.
Wear what you like you'll look lovely I'm sure.

Text her back - oh lovely, are you going to wear a veil too?

You don't wear white to a wedding ESPECIALLY not your own daughter.

Some people literally wouldn't care though. I wouldnt. You don't know if it's been discussed between the Mum and daughter.

I think white with blue flowers is fine for a wedding but I don't think your problem with your sister is really about the dress. She just sounds like a difficult person.

Perhaps you should tell niece that her mother is planning to wear white to her wedding.... nice will probably take it from there!