I know IBU but can anyone relate? (starting again from the bottom)

[WhereDoAllTheWildThingsGo]

I know I'm being very woe-is-me and would welcome a grip or two.

But I used to be what I'd call a high-flier in a senior position for an international company.

A few years later I had a bit of a breakdown, it all fell apart and I spent a while unemployed. I've lost all my confidence and with my savings dwindling I had to look for a new job - I lost faith in myself to do what I used to do so I wanted to start small.

I've now got a job as something of a pot-washer and when I look back at the past I can't quite believe how I got here. (I'm not dismissing pot-washers at all) but I feel like I've fallen so far down that I'll never reach those heights again.

I wonder if anyone went through similar and got back to where they were or at least found contentment. This is entirely different to some of the people I used to work with who chose of their own volition to wind-down their careers to focus on family, or on their own business or whatever.

I feel bitter looking at where some of the people I used to work with have ended up - one in particular is now head of EMEA region and we began our trainee programme together.

You're allowed to wallow every now and again.

I can see why you get upset sometimes, but try and remember there are different types of 'success' and it's not always about having the high flying job or all of the money, it can be as much about your health and happiness. Are you genuinely happy now? Are you over your breakdown? Do you have a family? These are the things which you cannot put a price on. I'm sure you can get a new job and start to climb the ranks again, but you'll never have the best of everything, and someone will always have more than you, it jus depends whether you want to accept that this is your lot, or go back and chase what you used to have.

Stop wallowing and start doing. Get out of this job for a start. Get into a job in the same industry as you were before. Get upskilled. There is so much you can do.

Are you genuinely happy now?

In truth no.

I am in good health and did seek help to overcome my breakdown. But it really tore me apart. I'm only now coming out the other side but I can't see how I'll climb the hill again.

Different situation but I quite often get moments of wondering what the people of my "former life" pre mh problems would think if they saw me now

I think that realistically the only thing that you can do to change the way you feel, is to just do SOMETHING, literally ANYTHING that even just makes a small nudge into the direction you want to eventually end up.

You did yourself a massive favour by prioritising your health over your job. It was incredibly brave to take that leap.

Ok, how well do you feel? I think you feel more able to do what you're doing right? So why don't you apply for bigger jobs, do something about it? Can you get back into the same industry but a different company? Are your skills transferable so you could work in another industry?

I mean this gently but all you're feeling is a little envy and bitterness. So instead of dwelling on those feelings, why not try to do something about it? 💐