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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not leave EBay feedback

42 replies

LadyBitterSparkles · 19/07/2017 12:59

I bought something on EBay and the same day it arrived (on Saturday) the seller messaged me asking to leave feedback.

Due to being really busy with end of term stuff I've not had a chance to properly check the item over or leave feedback yet.

Today the seller messages me again in quite a rude tone complaining that they'd messaged me a week ago asking me to leave feedback (not true, it was only on Saturday), and could I please do it.

If they had been polite about it I wouldn't mind and would leave the feedback when I got a chance, but they've actually been quite rude and demanding, and now I'm tempted not to leave any at all.

AIBU?

OP posts:

Peachesandcream15 · 19/07/2017 14:16

Yabu. The message wasn't rude. Check the item over and just leave 'good ebayer'. Not difficult is it?

BarbaraofSeville · 19/07/2017 14:18

You're not being unreasonable. I hate the needy modern day culture of obsessively requiring feedback for every little purchase. Fine, display complaints, but is it really necessary to add to the 'this seller has sold 876 widgets and people were happy with the product and service'?

It's not just online, when I bought a car, the salesman spent ages explaining the feedback form to me and how important it was that I gave him 5/5.

I couldn't give him 5/5 because I felt that he was dishonest and put too much pressure into all the extras that he tried to sell me that I didn't want.

I never leave feedback for anything now. Once I snapped on being nagged by an ebay seller and put something like 'item as described but seller pesters for feedback' and got a snotty comeback, so now I just don't bother.

If I am unhappy, I will complain directly to the company, rather than air dirty laundry in public on FB/twitter either. But I'm done with praising companies or individuals for simply doing what they are in the business of doing.

forceslover · 19/07/2017 14:23

Amazon are forever emailing me for feedback, I just hit delete. I don't want to be hassled about my shopping. If there is a problem I will contact them, no news is good news!

Original poster

LadyBitterSparkles · 19/07/2017 14:23

Err, it wasn't same day delivery? It was quick but not same day? The overall transaction was pretty standard.

To be honest I feel hassled into giving feedback before I've had a chance to check the item over properly, it just somehow doesn't sit right with me.

OP posts:

BarbaraofSeville · 19/07/2017 14:24

Exactly forces people/eBay/Amazon etc need to remember that 'no news is good news'.

HeyRoly · 19/07/2017 14:26

I sell on eBay quite a bit and reckon I only get feedback 50% of the time. I wouldn't dream of harassing people for feedback because that's so fucking petty.

Either don't give them feedback, or leave them feedback along the lines of what sunshinegirls said.

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 19/07/2017 14:42

I have a largely ebay based business with 5000+ feedback. I would never ask anyone for feedback, it is voluntary and it would irritate me to be asked by a seller for feedback. Up to you - but I certainly wouldn't leave positive feedback in this case.

AceholeRimmer · 19/07/2017 14:46

It is a bit much messaging you like that but it doesn't feel rude.. a bit pushy maybe. I would just leave it until you've checked the item, let them sweat But I would leave positive!

Badbadtromance · 19/07/2017 14:47

The time you've taken to post here you could have just left feedback

BarbaraofSeville · 19/07/2017 14:51

It's not the time, hell we all could have done something more useful instead of posting on here, it's the imposition.

You can't just buy anything anymore whether on or offline. You are constantly hassled to 'rate your experience'. Some of us just want to be left in peace with whatever product or service we have bought.

Blerg · 19/07/2017 14:53

I hate feedback to be honest. The whole thing annoys me. I think it should be voluntary - and is - so request it and be all sad face about it is irritating.

SlothMama · 19/07/2017 14:53

YANBU
It's up to you if you want to leave feedback or not, the seller shouldn't be harassing you

Lucie8881 · 19/07/2017 15:04

YANBU, this really irritates me. In general I leave feedback, often within a few days of receiving an item, there are occasions when life crops up and it slips my mind, shouldn't be a big deal. I sell a lot on eBay too so can appreciate a good reputation can boost your appeal but pestering people is not the way to go about it.

I wouldn't leave feedback in this instance.

BewareTheUndertoad · 19/07/2017 15:15

She might need the money and the funds are being held until she gets feedback, it sometimes can take 21 days for it to be released if none is left.
I know it is annoying to get the requests. It is equally as annoying for me to go out of my way to post something immediately and then get no feedback or acknowledgement of arrival so I am left wondering if it arrived. I don't ask though. Also annoying when I post immediately and get marked down for dispatch time because they were out when it was delivered.

One more point is this, if you don't get a lot of feedback your stars start to drop off the page and your visibility in the listings vanishes.

Feedback is voluntary but can be very important to a seller.Put yourself in their place and think about it.

Ohyesiam · 19/07/2017 19:07

The email isn't rude. I can see you feel hassled, but that's different to being rude.

GreyHare · 19/07/2017 19:11

Not sure if they still do it, but sometimes Paypal would hold the money until positive feedback was received, or 30 days had passed, I had it happen to me years ago when I first joined, so yes you are being unreasonable in the time it took you to come on here and whinge and await responses you could have left feedback ten fold,

isseywithcats · 19/07/2017 19:36

i dont think you are being unreasonable, feedback is voluntary i sell on ebay and if everyone had left feedback i would probably have double what i have, but it dosent bother me, some people just let me know they received the item and as its a present for someone ask me not to leave them feedback fair enough,

but on the other hand i had a buyer of a vintage 1950s brooch who said he wasnt happy with his item and without contacting me left a big fat red negative on my feedback, if he had messaged me i would have refunded in full, and funnily enough when i messaged him to say send it back and i will refund he hasnt returned it, so i think he was hoping i would say change the feedback, i will refund and you keep the brooch,
but i follow the rules you no happy you return and i refund

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