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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider not dating a guy because he is a bad kisser?

56 replies

KissAndTell · 18/07/2017 23:59

Lovely evening, chatted loads, really fancy him.

End of the date and we kiss, but it's awful!!

I'm beyond disappointed. What do I do?!

Kissing is really important to me. I couldn't live the rest of my life kissing like that. Is there any hope?!

OP posts:
TheNaze73 · 19/07/2017 07:57

Would be a deal clincher for me.

Next..... Grin

Original poster
KissAndTell · 19/07/2017 08:05

Nike yes I completely get your point. There is no saying that my way is the right way, but his technique is certainly unusual and I've not experienced anything like it!!

However, kissing incompatibility it definitely is.

Having a good snog is really important to me and I agree with whoever said it would probably mean we were sexually incompatible. I could never get very excited with kissing like that!

OP posts:
Aroundtheworldandback · 19/07/2017 08:10

Who knows you could have the most amazing life together. And you won't give him a chance because he's a bad kisser? That's they type of thing that'd have worried me when I was 16 to. E honest.

WonderLime · 19/07/2017 08:12

It's not "bad" kissing, it's kissing different to how you prefer it.

No, some people really are just bad kissers.

WonderLime · 19/07/2017 08:14

Give it another go and take the lead. If it's still rubbish, then it's not going to work as you've said a good snog is important to you.

FWIW, I also wouldn't continue a relationship with a bad kisser. My DP and I like to kiss everyday, so to feel like I actively needed to avoid that for a whole relationship would be ridiculous.

HipsterHunter · 19/07/2017 08:14

I love kissing so that would be a no from
Me!

GoldenOrb · 19/07/2017 10:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

faithinthesound · 19/07/2017 10:33

You only need one reason not to date someone: because you don't want to.

Everything else is just justification, background noise, and even red herrings. The bottom line is, if you don't want to, don't. No is a complete sentence. "No, thank you" is also a complete sentence, and it even checks the "societally mandated female politeness" box.

Good luck Smile

Outnotdown · 19/07/2017 10:34

Next time he goes to kiss you, just say, "can I show you how I like to be kissed?", then kiss him the way you want him to kiss you. If he gets it, great. If not..........

Original poster
KissAndTell · 19/07/2017 14:03

Outnotdown I think I'd die of embarrassment if I tried to say something like that!

OP posts:
The80sweregreat · 19/07/2017 15:33

i hate kissing. not helpful really, but maybe give it another go?

6079SmithW · 19/07/2017 15:40

Did he not open his mouth because he thought you were up for a peck but not a full on snog?

I am cautiously optimistic that your experience could be improved. If you don't want to tell him how you like to be kissed just show him. Go really slowly and obviously and hopefully he'll catch on.

Don't dump him over one kiss - try it a few more times at least. However if incompatibility continues he's going to have to go. Bad kissing will never give you the fanny gallops! Smile

babybubblescomingsoon · 19/07/2017 15:43

My first few kisses with DP weren't that great. His lips felt all weird and tense... by the second date he'd relaxed and by god, he's the best kisser I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. Maybe give it another try? Smile

Orlandointhewilderness · 19/07/2017 15:43

It can be improved. When I first kissed my DP, it was very different to anyone else before. No tongues and he seemed very inexperienced. A year on, it is completely different and amazing!

MaxPepsi · 19/07/2017 15:54

My DH is a very hit and miss kisser.

Some days it's amazing and I literally don't need anything else to satisfy me.

Other days it's so bloody shit I wonder what the aliens did with my real husband, ignore it and get him to satisfy me in other ways!

Give him another chance.

Original poster
KissAndTell · 19/07/2017 22:50

Ok I'm somewhat comforted by reports of improved kissers! I really like him, so I'll arrange another's date and see what happens!

OP posts:
Original poster
KissAndTell · 16/08/2017 10:45

Right, an update.

We've been on a few more dates, and had a few more kisses. No improvement!

I really like him as a person, but I don't think I can get past this! I feel really shallow to not go out with someone for this reason, but I can't imagine not having a good snog!

OP posts:
Ameliablue · 16/08/2017 10:53

With regards to sexual compatibility, I've been with good kissers who didn't really do much for me in bed and a not so good kisser who was far better in bed. I'd rather have the latter and the kissing improved.

thetwocultures · 16/08/2017 10:54

I completely get it op. You've at least given it a chance!

I once went out with a guy who snogged like Skeletor....seriously no tongue or lip action just teeth.
Felt like I was on the walking dead Hmm

Original poster
KissAndTell · 16/08/2017 10:57

Amelia I kind of presumed that a bad kisser might also be bad in bed. Seems not necessarily. However, I'd feel really bad if I slept with him just to try and then dumped him. God, am I total old fashioned prude?!

OP posts:
Original poster
KissAndTell · 16/08/2017 10:57

thetwocultures that made me laugh out loud. At work. Thank goodness nobody asked why!

OP posts:
mummmy2017 · 16/08/2017 10:58

Don't let him kiss you, if you really like him, lick his bottom lip, nibble the side of his mouth, keep doing it and seduce the sod, with kisses.
Little quick kisses, till he gives in...

mummmy2017 · 16/08/2017 10:59

Oh for washing machine bite his tongue... Teach that puppy how to behave.

Original poster
KissAndTell · 16/08/2017 11:03

mummmy2017 the fact that I have no inclination to do that at all kind of suggests I'm not that into him. Damn.

OP posts:
Ameliablue · 16/08/2017 11:51

I see your point, I don't think it is prudish. For me, I wanted to take things further despite the kissing as I felt we had a special connection, so think about how the relationship is going in other ways.