Newborn - am I doing it right?!

[BethLatimer]

Our beautiful baby daughter was born last week and we took her home on Friday I had a c section and I'm quite a bit of pain and discomfort. DH has been doing a lot of running around after us since we got home, he has been brilliant.

She is the sleepiest little being I've ever come across. She sleeps like 21 hours per day. She is also nocturnal. Her awake time tends to be between the hours of 2am and 4am.

She will fall asleep mid-feed, making her very difficult to feed and wind (she is formula fed) as she will often fall asleep after 30 ml then will be unsettled and looking for food an hour later.

Also, during her little periods of awakeness - should we be doing anything with her?? We'll cuddle her, chat to her, sing to her, she will happily lie on her changing mat kicking and looking around with her big eyes. Is that ok??

I just feel like her life is sleeping in her Moses basket (downstairs in the living room with us), lying on our knees, or on her mat. Is this normal?

All very very normal. The nocturnal thing makes sense if you think they would have been active while you slept whilst in the womb (activity rocking them to sleep), so they are just perpetuating that and it takes a while to cotton on to the whole day/night thing. Normal to have a spot of jaundice, normal to lose a bit of weight. There's no need to be stimulating every second she is awake - let her chill quietly and take it all in.

Jaundice makes them a bit sleepy, my daughter had it. If she's dozing off mid-feed just gently tap the soles of her feet.

Enjoy these times, take time to sit back & just love her. You're doing great.

All sounds fine.

You're doing fine, as is she.
Congratulations

Thank you all I really appreciate your kind words and advice

I'm extremely envious and I miss my dc being tiny babies. Enjoy every minute. Soon the attitude/answering back/arguing with siblings/tantrums will start (not had a bad day honest!)

Congratulations x

Yes it's normal, and congratulations!. Was she a bit early perhaps?

It's worth doing what you can to encourage her to feed more so as to clear out the jaundice - try taking off clothes, tickling her feet, making kissing noises to keep her awake during feeds, also wind her a lot and try feeding again after winding.

I came on just to say you've got a newborn? Then you will be doing it wrong. Whatever you are doing it will be wrong. If you are cuddling her, then Put her down. Immediately. Rod for your own back and she'll still want to be carried everywhere with you when she s 53. If you have put her down, pick her up. How dare you? She will implode if you stop looking at her for more than half a second. If you are feeding her it is definitely too much and certainly not enough. And she is far too cold and overheating. All at once. The lady in the supermarket knows.

So, best thing you can do is accept that you will now be wrong for most of the journey of parenthood, and start just enjoying it despite that! If you and your baby are happy, it's all good. You kind of think that you should be doing things a certain way, but actually, the way that suits one baby will not suit another, so you need to find what you and your baby are happy with, and then you are doing it right.

Just don't get carried away. Your second child is out there, waiting to be totally different so that by the time you think you've got it pretty much sussed, and are ready for number two, they are ready to explode into your life, do everything completely differently, require the polar opposite from their big sister and leave you wondering why you ever thought you were ok at being a parent because you are clearly doing it all wrong... (This is before they can even speak, at which point they can start to tell you, with their own cute little lisps, just how wrong you are getting it...)

I do miss tiny babies to cuddle!

Completely normal IMO. Congratulations!

Someone told me that you don't get it right, you don't get it wrong, you just get it done at that age. There really isn't a right way.

We had to practically undress DD and blow on her to keep her awake between feeds - we may have also rubbed her feet. It worked though and now she is 75th percentile.

More seriously, if you want to, you can help to distinguish night and day a bit. Don't make a particular effort to keep things quiet or dark in the day, but at night, use a soft lamp light instead of overhead lights, and keep talking to her to a minimum. It helps to show her that night is for feeding, and sleeping. Day is for playing and talking.
In my case, night was for watching endless episodes of some real life emergence rescue programme (DD1) and for catching up with classic movies I'd never seen but thought I should (DD2). Oohs, another tip. Don't watch Stepford Wives at 3am downstairs in the dark while pinned to a chair feeding. Especially if you turned it on and then changed seats so the remote is on the other chair. That's very definitely wrong.

Sometimes they can be extra sleepy if they are jaundice/low blood sugar, if the midwife is happy then enjoy staring a that gorgeous bundle of joy whilst she sleeps - perfect!

It's completely normal my newborn slept for weeks, I used to hang around looking at him wishing he'd wake up and look at me - that changed when a few weeks later he cried non stop and wouldn't sleep! He still doesn't sleep properly and he's 6. Enjoy the sleeping and don't worry. You can sit, hold and cuddle a lovely baby who doesn't have a care in the world. You are doing great. Do not worry.

This sounds exactly like my dc2 in his first few weeks. It's normal for babies to drop a little weight. Enjoy it while the sleeping continues, my DC2 is now 8weeks and hardly sleeps during the day. He also used to take small amounts of milk frequently and the health visitor said this was ok. DC1 also did this and is now on 95th percentile for height and weight. Enjoy the cuddles and let yourself recover. Good luck and congrats!

Jaundice makeshem sleepy. DS had mild jaundice (and also lost 7% of his body weight and is formula fed - 9mo now). Drinking milk will help clear it. After about a week the hospital threatened (albeit very kindly!) to take DS in overnight for phototherapy if he hadn't gained enough by the next appointment - I spent the whole of the next day trying to feed the poor wee sod, who just kept falling asleep. Dr told me to tap the base of the bottle to wake him up and it worked a treat.

Basically everything you're saying sounds familiar, but try to wake baby up during feeds so that she takes as much as possible as that'll clear the jaundice.

Congratulations, and be kind to yourself - it's really tough