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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to expect to pack up together when off for a holiday with kids?

44 replies

blondieblonde · 18/07/2017 20:48

That's just it. He has gone to bed - nothing yet done. Leaving tomorrow pm. I feel completely livid, and was expecting friendly evening of putting together the bags, cleaning out the car etc. AIBU?

OP posts:

CadleCrap · 18/07/2017 22:05

Another one here with a wire and adaptor obsessed DH. He takes a whole bag of them. All out stuff charges off a universal cable so no idea what all that is about.

runawaysimba · 18/07/2017 22:06

I pack for me and DD, DP packs for himself.
Then we'll be in the car on the way and DP will say, "Have we packed DD's XYZ?"

"We"! Fucking WE!

WonderWhippet · 18/07/2017 22:15

Don't wake him up as someone else suggested.

Have you made a list of what needs to be packed/sorted out? Did you do that together? It's so much easier if there is at least a list and he's had input.

It's a pretty rubbish feeling but I would've either said something to him earlier or, you'll have to bite the bullet and say something tomorrow regarding packing together.

BlackStars · 18/07/2017 22:16

Im a last minute packer and do mine and the kids in no time. DH takes ages and has to talk through his packing with me (how many socks etc!) I am of the opinion that I concentrate on the essentials and anything else I can buy if I have to.

Original poster

blondieblonde · 18/07/2017 22:17

Er... don't worry guys. I did 'say something' to him as he headed off to bed. I think he knows my view!!

OP posts:

TheSconeOfStone · 18/07/2017 22:22

Can't you split the packing list between you? We usually camp. DH packs all the camping gear (he has a system) and I do clothes and wash stuff. I get the better deal. Can you do what amounts to half the packing and leave the rest to him? Are you both around in the morning to finish packing?

CheshireChat · 18/07/2017 22:23

Just leave it for tomorrow and go to sleep so you're rested and don't feel crap.

If he tries to rush you tomorrow just remind him it could've all been done had he helped...

Whatthefucknameisntalreadytake · 18/07/2017 22:28

Please could you answer the question of whether one or both of you are working/busy tomorrow morning? It makes a big difference as to whether you're being unreasonable or not!

2rebecca · 18/07/2017 22:32

I'f you're not going until tomorrow afternoon I'd be packing in the morning. You don't have to martyr yourself doing it all. Go to bed and do it tomorrow with him. If he doesn't do his share then you don't leave until he pulls his weight. If him going to bed early means you do it all then you're just encouraging him to go to bed. I'd go to bed if I knew my husband would then do everything for me. Stop enabling him.

SprinklesandIcecream · 18/07/2017 22:52

Is anyone driving OP?

If not or shared driving, then make a list of things needing done, wake up with DP and do them 50/50.

WomblingThree · 18/07/2017 22:56

It never ceases to amaze me how many women on MN moan about men that they have obviously been with from years and had children with.

How have you only just noticed he's a knob? Or is it more that you've only just discovered MN and want to jump on the bandwagon?

AndNowItIsSeven · 18/07/2017 22:57

I don't get it , if you dh is at work tomorrow and you aren't surely you would pack? X

Longdistance · 18/07/2017 22:58

He's gonna forget loads of things, and then look like a lost boy, and start borrowing your stuff on holiday.

glares at dh

gillybeanz · 18/07/2017 23:02

I find it hard packing for myself and the kids when they were little.
They all do their own now and I've never done dh packing, he's a grown man

Leinlondon · 18/07/2017 23:10

I wash all the things I know we will need to take in the week running up to a holiday but that's the only planning I do and I simply cannot pack the day before - usually it is an hour or so before leaving but as long as it is after I'm up, showered, dressed etc for the day I'm fine. Nothing annoys me more than packing and then having to get stuff I need out again. I do me and DD (though she likes to "help" these days) DH does himself in about 10 mins. One week or two week holiday in the sun/camping/festival - it never takes us longer than an hour and we very rarely forget anything important. So I kind of get where your DH is coming from, tonne packing is not an enjoyable family evening, it's a quick chore

Leinlondon · 18/07/2017 23:14

*to me packing is not an enjoyable family evening

TartanDMs · 18/07/2017 23:19

I like to pack late, because otherwise I forget stuff. I am a procrastinator by nature and hate being rushed into things. DH would happily pack two or three days before the holiday, which means a frosty atmosphere around packing time.

MeltorPeltor · 18/07/2017 23:22

I pack for everyone, far easier than getting stressed about him not packing but then I'm a SAHM and he works long hours. My job is organising everything, his is paying for it.

melj1213 · 19/07/2017 00:14

Unless you're scheduled from the second you wake up to the second you leave for your trip, I don't see why it's so terrible to pack in the morning?

It's a camping holiday so it's not like you have a flight/train to catch meaning you have to be ready for a specific time. I only pack the night before when I know I have a long day of travelling and it's using public transport and planes so I have no control over the schedule and have to be ready for specific times with little to no flexibility. If I'm just going away for a casual weekend and we're driving then I am a total last minute packer.

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