To need some structure to the day

[growinglavender]

Does anyone else find it hard? Done nothing today. Just sometimes feel I can't do another day at home.

Are you home with your children?

Yes!

Depends what else you do on other days. After a lifetime if hard difficult work and bringing up children, I now love well earned days of doing nothing! (And dreamed of them before)

I know tap. I think I would have liked the IDEA of them more than I like the reality!

If at home with kids, then just go out with them. Days pass quicker and more interestingly.

When mine were little, I always kept myself busy with household stuff. While they would play, I would deep clean one room a day, go through paperwork, make meals to freeze, whatever. I just made sure I stayed active and moving around. Getting used to just sitting around is the kiss of death. I would put music on and just DO something.

The reality is great op - but my kids have left home. I can do what I want now - bliss.
I stayed indoors as little as possible with my kids - so much more interesting outdoors

Yes I still find it quite hard tap you have to go to a lot of places to fill an entire day after all!

I split the day in to two shifts. Roughly 10-12, and then 2-4. We try to do something in those time slots and meals on either side. Go for a walk, get the bikes out, go swimming, play park etc etc.

I don't know I just find the days go so very slowly.

How old are they? I can count on the fingers of one hand any day I don't get out at least once. Try and make a virtue out of a necessity- trip/ chore/ trip/ chore.

Well of COurse YANBU.

Did you mean to ask for suggestions ?

Suggestions are fine, comaderie is better

Some parents join parents and kids groups.
Some do 'classes' with their kids - depending on age

Depends on wether you need company/support or varied days. Also depends if this is a maternity leave situation, or a longer term thing.

I was so glad to have time off work and to have time alone, I just valued the 'space' . I know I always took my children's food with me (passed the breast feeding stage) and took the opportunity to have a nice sit down and coffee etc while feeding the kids.

It does get easier and flies passed quickly - so try and enjoy it while you can.

Thanks. There is a group I go to but it's every other week x

So what to you have to do and what do you want to do?
I used to alternate treat chore when out. So park then pick up dry cleaning or go to the bank whatever.
And the supermarket was a day trip! So depending on their age make a list, sort out bags/ stuff for the bottle bank, get to supermarket, occasionally have lunch/ tea depending on number of us/ cost.
Do supermarket shop, let them choose a magazine, lots of talking about it, go to the park on way home, unpack. There would often be something from the shop to occupy bag of donuts

I suppose this is the problem really. Yes, there are 'fillers' like the supermarket, soft play, farm, and so on. The children love them. Me - I just feel like tearing my hair out by 3 o clock and it goes so slowly.

Friends are the key! Time goes faster when you're chatting. Soft play and farms are less boring when you can have adult conversation. Have you got friends with kids the same age?

No, not really. One of my friends was off on maternity leave but she's back now. In any case people have their own things going on, I find.

I found the lack of structure extremely difficult when DS was tiny, but I was lucky that I live in London and there are masses of baby groups. Have you looked on Netmums? They have better lists of local stuff - then try all of them.

I used to literally write down a schedule for the next day, eg: 10am library Bounce and Rhyme, 11am 1 hour walk, 12 home for lunch/feed/change, 1:30pm Rollers and Crawlers, 3pm either grocery shopping or coffee with someone from group, or if desperate go to IKEA and eat cake. It got easier as DS got older and Had met lots of people who each brought ideas of new stuff to do.

Hope you don't live somewhere very remote? No idea how people cope with that!

Oh, also don't be afraid to plonk yourself in cafes that have toddler play areas and instead of looking busy on your phone avoiding eye contact just sit looking like you are bored and waiting for someone to talk to. Has worked for me - especially late afternoon when people are less likely to be meeting a group of friends and more likely to be at a loose end. Yes, I have no shame.

I have one toddler, who still naps, so I made a schedule around that which I'm happy to share. It's more or less don't procrastinate in the mornings (I'm drying my hair now, so can mumsnet!) get some specific jobs done at home each morning, go out for a few hours, have lunch then DC naps during which time I do some more jobs then when DC wakes up we have a few hours till DH is home and in that time DC plays with toys independently, we play together, sing, I might start cooking... just pottering about at home usually.

Thanks I think it is the lack of anyone to talk to. It's surprising how lonely that can be, isn't it!

I went back to work, much sooner than I'd expected to want to. I thought I'd love being at home but I hated it. DC are now 5&8 and I've been part time since the first one was 1, full time since the second was 2. I'm much happier!

Took me ages to get over the 'guilt' of not enjoying that time though.

It's just not for everybody! I think if you have a big family network it can be enjoyable.