Did anyone watch C4 - Is love racist? And think the entire premise is ridiculous?

[RedHareWithBlondeHair]

It was on last night and I can just about manage to get over the pseudoscience but I just don't understand the premise. I am of mixed origin and therefore date white and black men without any precursive judgement.

They said that in the general population the majority had shown a stronger preference to white faces - essentially people that white people are more reasonable and more affable.

But, but in terms of who you fancy it is surely just who you fancy. Racial bias aside, you fancy who you do just because you do. If you like blond men or men with blue eyes then that's what you find attractive.

I realise that that is what society has sought to make the ideal - i.e. white thin people, but either way then deal with that. Not what people find personally attractive.

YEP! Made me so fucking angry that I came off the internet in case I said something that got me banned off websites.

Once again, white people are portrayed as racist - and this time it's because they are attracted to other white people!

Apparently 25% of whites claimed (in a poll the show did,) that they wouldn't date outside their race, and wouldn't date a black person, but only 10% of black and mixed people said they wouldn't date a white person.

What fucking poll?! I bet it was some shitty poll of less than 500 people, done in fucking London!

Pathetic as hell. MOST people are attracted to people who are the same race; as partners AND friends. It's just nature. Not fucking racism.

I realised a few years ago, in a therapy session, that I was raised to only be attractive to white boys/men.

I am in fact attractive to males regardless of their skin colour. It just took me 40 odd years to see the social conditioning.

I did watch the programme and I believe that it confirmed what I thought. Social conditioning. Most CEO posts are white men. A lot of political leaders are white men. While I was growing up most Doctors/teachers/police officers where white.

Even though it came across as pseudo science I think they were right.

I didn't watch it but am going to have a go on catch-up this week.

It is an interesting premise. I am white and have only ever dated white people, although I have been attracted to a wider range of people (it's just not been reciprocated )

It's one of those issues where an individual perspective is never going to be worth examining though, as a) hardly anyone will have dated a statistically significant number of people & b) dating is about more than physical attraction anyway.

Could one also argue then, that one is sexist to only find men attractive?

I don't know... just a thought. I am married to a man who is white (as am I), however, before meeting my husband I have found men of different ethnic origins attractive. I think it's more to do with the diversity of the population you live in, in your formative years. I think it also helps that I come from a family where racism wasn't a thing. I recall my dad describing bigots as "sad people who blame others for their own failings and think the world owes them a favour".

Didn't see the program but it sounds like bull shit to me based on some poor sampling techniques.

I'm white and I really fancy mixed race and black guys.
But I agree it doesn't necessarily lead to racism just because someone doesn't.
I also think a lot of it is down to humans being attracted to those who look like them. So white people are attracted to other white people and black people vice versa.

So, if you only fancy people of the opposite sex, does that make you a homophobe?

Even though it came across as pseudo science I think they were right.

I absolutely agree that what they said was right. In the psych test they did they found that people by and large are more open to white people. I agree with this concept. And I'd even go so far as to say that it doesn't matter that this was done in the UK - even in Africa and the Middle East and Asia, people do by and large have a preference to white skin.

But as far as attraction is concerned - even if this is social conditioning - you are where you are. We can all do courses to retaliate against hiring people that just happen to look like you, even if the best candidate was from another race. But as far as attraction - I do see the point - if all I have ever been fed in life is how white people are better then target that school of thought. You cannot fundamentally make someone think 'oh well hang on, this Asian or Black man looks ok' - target the initial root of that concept.

That's why I found the show ridiculous. Many of my ethnic friends only want to date white men - and they should go forth and date whom they want. But, if this is coming from a wider issue of stereotypes and history then let's target that. Not the fact that someone likes a man with blue eyes.

That will take years to achieve but then lets do it.

So, if you only fancy people of the opposite sex, does that make you a homophobe?

I don't think it makes you a homophobe, but it is very last century to base your sexual preferences on someones genitalia. Women have penis's (and if you are a lesbian who won't have PIV sex with a transwoman then you are a transphobe) and men have vaginas.

This again is just my own experience, but I have a white father and a mixed race mother. I have blue eyes and blond hair.

Whenever I was with either side of the family they used to praise me for this.

When I came across white men they'd be astonished that I was arab and black and white and when I came across ethnic men they'd be proud that I was part ethnic too.

The fetishilisation of race has to end regardless. My black friends that like white men happen to have also experienced racism and sexism. If white is the best then let's work out why that is. Not just target people for that consequence.

AisforAria No. Let's not start with the what-abouttery.

ItsAll you are joking?

Got it recorded.

I suppose I should wait to see it, but who you are attracted to or not is such an utterly personal matter that any criticism of anyone for a preference based on gender, skin colour, religion, hair colour, sexual orientation, or appearance is out of place and just plain wrong. We're not talking abut the choice of employees, customers or suppliers here.

And it's hardly surprising that people are attracted to other people of a similar cultural origin, is it? And it's not wrong, either.

AdoraBell in your post @ Tue 18-Jul-17 19:15:09 , I wonder whether you meant to type "attracted to" rather than "attractive to" as they mean two different things and your post would make more sense if you were talking about who you find attractive and not people who find you attractive.

I've not really been attracted to white people - I prefer dark brown/black skin so have dated pretty much most other races.

" bet it was some shitty poll of less than 500 people, done in fucking London!

Pathetic as hell. MOST people are attracted to people who are the same race; as partners AND friends. It's just nature. Not fucking racism."

Didn't see the show. But I'm a Londoner and while I've dated outside my race (never dated within it in fact) and have majority friends not my race, I will say that about 95% of those people in my life, now or past, are Londoners.

I don't really believe in race, I think it's just a social construct like "gender'. But tribes maybe, and I'm a Londoner. So I found the above post very interesting.

ItsAll, are you taking the mick?

You'd not expect a gay man to have PIV sex, so why expect a lesbian to have PIV sex?? Absolutely nothing transphobic about wanting have sex with the genitals that interest you.

I obviously missed the point. I thought it was about how people internet dating choose preferences and it stops people considering people of other races. Like the two guys they showed who said they would only date white girls but when they did the test with the glasses they were actually tracking the mixed race girls. If they were internet dating and said they only wanted white girls they would obviously miss out the mixed race girls they fancied. Mind you I fell asleep and didn't see it all.

Women have penis's (and if you are a lesbian who won't have PIV sex with a transwoman then you are a transphobe) and men have vaginas.

This is joke, yes? Please tell me it's a joke.

I do raise my eyebrows when people say 'I'm not attracted to black men'. Attraction is much more than physical looks and even if it was one black man could look completely different to another. It's a very sweeping statement to just dismiss a race completely.

Women have penis's (and if you are a lesbian who won't have PIV sex with a transwoman then you are a transphobe) and men have vaginas.

For me, sexual attraction has a something to do with sexual organs. I'm a heterosexual women = I only want a sex with someone with a penis.

I like men with dark hair and dark eyes, which cuts across all races, hence I have dated men from all of the race groups featured. Although I do seem to have a preference for men with slightly olive coloured skin, the type that tans well without burning. I'm mixed race Indian/African.
I watched and thought the point of it all was to highlight a bigger problem: the historical capitalist notion of the superiority of the white conquering race.