Disability and Discrimination

[Oakmaiden]

Genuine question here, because maybe I am completely wrong.

If you were part of a team running activities for young children (think Brownies/Cubs etc) and one of the leadership team developed a disability which meant she couldn't walk far or take part in active activities, would the correct response be to:

a, not schedule any active activities/hikes etc for the group. This would be pretty much ever.
b. Expect the leader, as an adult, to allow those activities to go ahead but to sit them out (providing, of course, adult/child ratios were maintained)?

Because, in honesty, I have always been of the opinion it isn't about US as leaders, it is about the children and the experiences they are being offered. But I can't help wondering what someone with more knowledge of disability discrimination would say....

I've met several visibly disabled Guide and scout leaders, and I'm sure there's many more with invisible disabilities. I think generally both groups are pretty inclusive.

It is about doing what the girls enjoy and want to do. Yes you have to do that within the capability of your unit team but that doesn't mean if you all can't do a two hour hike then no one does. It means you risk assess and adapt and decide what roles are needed and split them up by who is good at/can do what.

I think it should be easier to adapt for a leader than for a Brownie (it wouldn't be fair to have a Brownie in a wheelchair keeping score every week while the others play running around games, but a leader could). And a leader should be better able to accept that some things need to be adapted and other things are just unfortunately impossible for them.

It does sound like the leader is struggling to come to terms with the effects of her disability, which is not really surprising if its recent or recently got worse. It must be increadibly frustrating to not be able to take part and to feel like you're not doing your best for the girls if you're staying behind.

Does she have particular skills that you could utilise some weeks to balance the weeks where she's less directly involved?

zzzzz no-one has said that inclusion is just for children. But the club and activities offered ARE about the children, not about us. I do think my co-leader sometimes forgets that.

As a non-disability related example: we often take the girls on pack holiday with another pack. Last year we arranged to do this on the only dates that the leader of the other pack and our third leader (who holds our only holiday licence) could do. Co-leader got very upset because she was busy on that date and couldn't come. It was unfair of the rest of us to organise it on a date she couldn't make. We ended up not going at all, in order to placate her.

I think it is things like that which made me question the right path to take now. As it happens this issue has now been pushed all the way to the this county's Chief Commissioner, as the District Commissioner also has concerns about co-leader's fitness (this is a long story and I'm not going to share all the details as they aren't really pertinent to my AIBU. And I don't really want to.)

All this said, and despite the fact no-one affected will ever read this - I do believe that all the difficulties are related to her illness/medication/difficulty adjusting and not down to her personality. I miss being friends with her. But she won't talk to me at the moment.

YANBU, OP. It's supposed to be about the children, she's made it about her. Very selfish, better if she leaves if she can't see how unfair she's being.

Well that situation is different, and that's where your friendship has blurred the lines of your roles as leaders - she should have been told that it's unfortunate but if that was the only date that works, it stands.

But I do think that you need to find a way of being an inclusive pack.

No one is saying inclusion is just for children, however the point of volunteering in Brownies is to give experiences to the children. Not going on pack holiday because 1 leader can't make it and had a tantrum is ridiculous. Not going on walks ever because 1 leader can't manage to walk and won't do something different to help isn't fair on the children. I feel sorry for her if she is finding it difficult to adapt, but it's not right to have the girls miss out because of her behaviour.

It's like everything people have to work together and consider everyone's points of view. She doesn't want to feel excluded and isolated, she possibly needs to lower expectations and change roles, ie if she can't do a walk she is in charge of refreshments with someone else helping her.

I have a severe medical condition that is a daily challenge, I certainly don't expect anyone to cancel things for me, but I expect consideration and compromise.

If she won't talk to you at the moment then you need an informal 3rd party to try and come up with a solution. Escalating this officially will only aggravate what is a sensitive situation.

Ok, I see what you mean now zzzzz.

I do of course understand we have a duty to be inclusive towards her as well. What I really was asking is whether doing the activity and expecting her to say if she needed to adapt it /sit it out was the right or wrong thing to do, or whether we should have not done the activity at all. The message I have taken from this is that we need to find a third way, really.

I mentioned the holiday thing as I think her reaction to that and the result of that reaction has affected the way I am reacting now. Probably unfairly.

It is difficult for me to articulate here what I want as a way forward, because there are other issues and concerns mixed up with this that aren't actually part of my AIBU. What I really want is to find a way forward which allows us to run a full and balanced programme for the girls whilst also - not letting her feel included, which is what I almost said - but in which she plays as full a role as she would like. At the moment neither of those things are quite happening.