To think that they can all bugger off!

[poppp]

DH and I were recently discussing when we plan to starting trying again for DC2. My reservations about this are purely regarding the overbearing relatives knocking down our door every 5 seconds demanding sodding cuddles. I know it's jumping the gun a little as I'm not even pregnant but DH and I are in agreement that everyone can bugger off until we're ready to invite them. I had a horrific birth last time that required surgery afterwards, big haemorrhage and DD was poorly and needed surgery at a few weeks old. I just know the uproar from both sides of the family will be horrendous and we're thinking of not telling anyone the due date or birth until we're ready for people to come by. It was so stressful for me and that with trying to get breastfeeding established with lingering relatives resulted in an overwhelming amount of stress, on top of worrying DD would pick up germs, plus I'm a massive introvert and really didn't want the visitors. Are we being unreasonable?

YANBU. Your baby, your choice.

I've just had DD2.

Whilst family have been over, I definitely think they were less "obsessive" this time round. It has been easier to say no, this time.

When you get pregnant, tell EVERYONE your due date is at least 3 weeks later than it is.

And get used to this sentence "Yes it is quite a big bump but yes we are sure about the dates - the scans show I'm carrying a lot of water but the midwives and drs aren't worried."

YANBU. Tell both sides of the family "no invite = no visit" and that you won't answer the door if they call any time that hasn't been arranged.

When you have a baby you're not there to play hostess and any family or friends worth their salt will accept your boundaries... if they go in a huff about it, enjoy the peace. Win win

Just tell them a late date. Only show a picture of your scan where you have cropped out the details (as this shows the date of your scan) and wait a few weeks after the scan before you tell anyone you went to it.

Or just learn the word no.

The novelty wears off for the second.
Be clear that visits will have to be scheduled and no longer than 2 hours (or whatever you choose).
If someone turns up unannounced, turn them away!! Say you're not having visitors today. I did come up with some excuses, but you don't need to say anything other than we weren't expecting any visitors today, can you make 2 o'clock on Sunday etc

Just lie about your due date!!!

Oohhh I love the idea of lying about the due date. I had moderate/severe levels of amniotic fluid with DD so looked massive once I hit 28 weeks. And I can just say oh well everyone shows bigger with their second!
Trust me... unfortunately "no" isn't strong enough. My parents have zero tolerance for being told no. Last time they called and asked DAILY when aunt so and so could pop round....why wouldn't I want a distant relative I see once a year in my lounge watching me get my nips out, then hysterically crying when DH makes me a really tasty dinner

Yep I'm due my first. We've lied about the date and won't be telling anyone when I go into labour it's not worth the hassle. I'll also be making excuses as I don't want a house full of people I dont even care than we're lying it's other people's behaviour that makes me this way. Also when it get too much I'll be saying time to go. Could you use the fact that your dd needs time with the baby to get people to leave?