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AIBU?

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Original poster

One in ten smoke in pregnancy

294 replies

SoTheMoon · 18/07/2017 13:16

AIBU to be totally shocked by this?

I honestly thought it was much, much lower. Government target announced today is to get it down to 6%.

OP posts:
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 18/07/2017 15:21

It's hard to stop smoking in pregnancy, you metabolise nicotine faster so you need more. Women who manage to cut down or stop deserve recognition for this.

Also a lot of women are bringing their babies into a life with many other issues (homelessness, mental health challenges, difficult relationships, violent partners) stopping smoking just doesn't top the priority list. Not sure it would for me either.

Tormundsbrow · 18/07/2017 15:31

some people find it easy to quit, the light switch goes on, others don't.

I feel, as with any addiction that sometimes people are too afraid to ask for help because of the judgement they will get.

Maybe if we are more supportive people would seek help and be able to quit.

BrazillaBells · 18/07/2017 15:35

In all honestly, I'm surprised that anyone is thick enough to start smoking in the first place.

I understand that many didn't know the dangers of smoking some years ago, but people do now.

LaurieFairyCake · 18/07/2017 15:38

im surprised anyone is thick enough to start smoking

Sad you really haven't thought about poverty and addiction at all have you ?

EdmundCleverClogs · 18/07/2017 15:43

In all honestly, I'm surprised that anyone is thick enough to start smoking in the first place.

People do many decisions that are slowly killing them each day. Caffeine, alcohol, fatty foods, poisoning the air/Earth with cars, aerosols, wood/coal burning and such. We all make stupid, selfish, harmful-to-our-health choices every day. Those in glass houses and all that.

RhubardGin · 18/07/2017 15:51

If you look at pregnant smokers anecdotes on here about bar staff withholding alcohol (1 glass!) to pregnant women, spitting on pregnant smokers, criticising pregnant women's food choices in public - and that's just public happenings !

It's not about being a woman. It's about the fact that you are responsible for another life and that you should try your best to keep that life as healthy as possible.

If men could carry children they would receive the same attitude.

But of course they can't so the onus is going to be on woman so your argument is a bit silly.

MargaretCavendish · 18/07/2017 16:06

It's not about being a woman. It's about the fact that you are responsible for another life and that you should try your best to keep that life as healthy as possible.

That makes it sound like the controlling of women as breeders is some random coincidence, rather than what it is: the origin and founding principle of misogyny. As I said, you can disapprove of pregnant smokers all you like but we should all recognise that an assault on their rights and bodily autonomy is an assault on the rights of all women.

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/07/2017 16:14

It's not about being a woman. It's about the fact that you are responsible for another life and that you should try your best to keep that life as healthy as possible.

Super weird this doesn't extend to paying child support or ending domestic violence... Nothing to do with misogyny though, I wonder what it is...

LaurieFairyCake · 18/07/2017 16:24

if men could carry children they would receive the same attitude

What like they do when having multiple partners? Or when they abandon children to 'single mothers' - never has a group received such approbation as the person who stayed around to look after the children Hmm or when 2 women are killed a week by their partners - and we see the Murdoch press use the words 'nagging' or 'killed in their sleep by men with a sleep disorder'

Nah, they wouldn't. Instead there would be posters on walls and a mass health campaign about mental health in pregnancy- perhaps with the tag line "Look after the menz emotionally in pregnancy, remember stress kills more than smoking"

Or some such bollocks

The risk in pregnancy is mostly to the woman, and the baby after pregnancy but there's nothing like a cute little baby picture of a baby coughing in the womb to get folk frothing at 'babies rights'.

HipsterHunter · 18/07/2017 16:26

I'm surprised becase I thought general rates of smoking would be much lower than 1 in 10, and consequently some women who smoke will give up for pg.

Is the general smoking population really more than 1 in 10 for women of childbearing age?

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 18/07/2017 16:28

meh they did this for decades and decades before we learnt how bad smoking was

considering it used to be so much higher, 10% is very low actually

also , there is a huge difference between people that cut down to 1-2 a day and people that have a whole pack of B&H

ComputerUserNotTrained · 18/07/2017 16:31

im surprised anyone is thick enough to start smoking

I'm surprised so many (I assume) adults are unable to see beyond their own little bubble. I wouldn't call them thick, but such a lack of imagination and empathy doesn't exactly indicate bags of intelligence.

Thurlow · 18/07/2017 16:35

As others have mentioned, smoking is an addiction and for many people is often tied deeply to the state of their mental health.

Like someone else above, I quit but then antenatal depression kicked in massively and so it became almost impossible to fight the odd 'need' for what had been an emotional crutch for so many years. I'm not proud of it, but sometimes life is not perfectly straightforward for everyone and they make decisions that with hindsight they know they shouldn't have

ethelfleda · 18/07/2017 16:38

I'm surprised and honestly thought it would be lower.
I quit about a month before I fell pregnant because I was actively trying. And haven't smoked since (now 23 weeks pregnant)
In the first trimester I wouldn't have been able to even stomach one! I must admit on the odd occasion now I do fancy one with a glass of wine but it's totally not worth it in my opinion (have abstained from alcohol too)
I also did the CO2 test and had a lower number than some 100% non smokers surprisingly.
Personally though I wouldn't judge anyone in that position.

WaitroseCoffeeCostaCup · 18/07/2017 16:43

Also, yesterday at my appointment I was told the NHS guidelines on drinking was due to change to no drinking at all while pregnant. I mentioned I had found alcohol free wine, and she said good and not to touch a single drop of alcohol while pregnant.

Yeah alright Hmm

AceholeRimmer · 18/07/2017 16:47

It is shocking but I'm not shocked.. no-one can control what someone does even with all the education out there. Me and DP were born with serious breathing problems due to our mums smoking. It's a very selfish act in this day and age when we know it's bad.

RhubardGin · 18/07/2017 16:52

Me and DP were born with serious breathing problems due to our mums smoking

Apparently this is a misogynistic way to think and woman should not be held accountable.

AceholeRimmer · 18/07/2017 16:54

Eh? It's nothing to do with being a woman, I'd say the same if it was my dad. How on earth has a thread like this come down to misogyny..

RhubardGin · 18/07/2017 18:00

Eh? It's nothing to do with being a woman, I'd say the same if it was my dad. How on earth has a thread like this come down to misogyny..

I'm trying to work that out myself!

Emmeline123 · 18/07/2017 18:22

Interesting seeing all the holier than thou posts on this thread. I wonder how many have no vices they struggle to resist.

And as for those saying that anyone who does anything that could cause harm to her baby shouldn't be a mother - shame on you. I am on ADs while pregnant. I wouldn't be on them if I could simply choose not to be. I don't drink or smoke at all, but I don't believe I'm in a position to sit on my throne and judge all women who do. I don't know their stories.

16middlenames · 18/07/2017 18:35

It's not about being holier than thou, it's about not being a shitty parent before your kids are even born. It's about putting the health of your unborn baby before your own desires. I failed at quitting so many times in my 12 years as a smoker, until I had to quit for the sake of my pregnancy. If you don't quit then you're selfish. It's hard, but it's tough shit and undoubtedly the right thing to do.
Btw could absolutely murder a cigarette 99% of the time, but I won't because I couldn't live with myself if my baby was poorly (or died from SIDS) due to my own poor choices.

RhubardGin · 18/07/2017 18:47

Interesting seeing all the holier than thou posts on this thread. I wonder how many have no vices they struggle to resist

My vices don't impact an unborn child's health. That's the difference.

And if I knew that I would try and solve these before falling pregnant.

Groupie123 · 18/07/2017 18:47

@16middlenames - I agree with you. Smoking is known to cause low birth weight, is known to increase the likelihood of SIDs and Asthma but these selfish women do it anyway. The people who are defending pregnant smokers - would you similarly defend pregnant heroin/alcohol addicts?

BoysofMelody · 18/07/2017 18:53

One in ten smoke in pregnancy

AIBU to be totally shocked by this?

Yeah, the one who smokes should hog them all to herself and pass the pack around to the other 9 who could probably do with a tab to take take edge of their nerves.

RyanStartedTheFire · 18/07/2017 18:56

The people who are defending pregnant smokers - would you similarly defend pregnant heroin/alcohol addicts?
No one has defended it or said that it is an okay thing to do obviously Hmm but in the darkest time of my life during pregnancy I could sympathise with others that clung to things that they shouldn't, yes.