To ask you for inspiring stories of how you turned your life around

[lilyrosedaisy]

At the moment, I feel lost, stupid and silly. I feel that whenever I try to do anything that might reasonably be considered a positive change, I end up looking stupid and feeling foolish.

As such, it is really hard for me to carry on believing in myself when I feel as if my life is ruined (which sounds dramatic but it does feel that way!)

So - anyone ever been at rock bottom and picked themselves up?

Yup. Grew up in a family of 5. By the age of 15 I'd lost all my siblings except My brother who has a learning disability. All in tragic circumstances.

Suffered with PTSD but never knew what it was and never received any mental health support.

Failed my GCSE's and A-Levels. I wanted to be a social worker but was told I needed to be more realistic. I re took all my exams. Took a pre med course, did volunteering in a care home. Got in to study social care. Got pregnant on my course. I had to take a year out. Finally got on the MA in social work but was made homeless half way through. I had to take a year out. Failed my first year placement and had to commute
Three hours a day to my placement while penniless and a single mum.

Got to my second placement. I had a four hour commute this time. Diagnosed with PND. Moved house. Struggled as a single mum but was absolutely determined to qualify. Even once I qualified my ordeal wasn't over. It took me two years of constant interviewing (failed 42 interviews) to finally secure my first job as a social worker. Even then it was only temporary.

Today I'm a locality manager and financially secure.

I never ever gave up hope or belief in myself. If I'd believe any of the people who said I couldn't do it I'd not have. I believed I could do it so I did. End of subject.

That's lovely. Sorry for your losses.

Not as drastic as the pp bit I read How to do everything and be happy by peter jones and it keeps my focus on what I have achieved rather than on what I havent. My life is more how I want it to be now.

Thanks. I'm trying not to let myself get sucked into a pit of hopelessness but I feel I'm being dragged there anyway, and I have no energy to resist.

Oh OP. Remember tough time don't last. Tough people do. I'm currently in the middle of losing the life I worked 7 years for because I made a decision that felt like the right decision at the time. I don't know if it was or not but the consequences have been further reaching and more dramatic than I could have conceived. But rock bottom is the sturdiest place to kick back from. Could you tell us a little bit about the situation. We could offer some advice possibly?

It's hard to explain Peggy - I had a false allegation made against me at work and it's really thrown my whole career off track. Everything else has followed in the plughole of despair!

OP, try to see this as meant to be, and as a test of your strength. Stand up, fight back, gather evidence, make a plan of action and follow it through - don't waste years like I did.

I had always wanted to follow a particular path, but was pushed by parent into something else which I hated. After many years, and a divorce, I had a major accident which caused life changing injuries resulting in a year off work. It also caused me to see sense and stand up for myself, I just thought 'sod it, I've done everything everyone else wanted me to do and it never worked, so now, I'm doing it MY WAY'.

I handed in my notice, took a deep breath and began working in my desired career, taking whatever other bits of work I could to pay the bills along the way. It's taken a few years of financial hardship and constant pain but my work is now in demand, finances are in the black. I have a new partner and a life that is getting better every day.

Good luck

Any examples of what youve done posative that ended up silly?

I've gone against the grain my whole life and have been very successful. People constantly telling me don't do this or don't do that. I ignored them and many are now envious of the lifestyle I've got myself.

Potentially v outing, but here goes:

Struggled with my mental health forever, really. Bright, but couldn't apply myself at school. Got good GCSEs and AS levels. Left my A2 levels (twice) due to very poor mental health much to the exasperation of my parents. Second time was due to a complete break down.
Started volunteering in support work with young people with disabilities, moved onto a paid learning assistant role, and through that got into a very good degree course via my experiential achievements. Started working at in a relevant industry part time alongside my degree.

Started degree. Got into horribly abusive relationship, got pregnant, took a year out of my course. Traumatic birth resulting in PTSD and PND. Both diagnosed and untreated. Went back to Uni. Got pregnant again. Took more time out from Uni.
Ended relationship, moved back to my family home. Depressed, anxious, peniless, late twenties with no real work experience or qualifications.

Started working at the Part Time Place (vague) for 30 hours a week, then full time. After a year working full time, was internally promoted into a role which I had interest and expertise in. Again, promoted after a year.

During this time I submitted my dissertation and passed my degree with a First.

Took a punt on a job I was underqualified for, externally, worked my socks off to impress the interviewing panel, three interviews later was hired. Promoted to Head of Service within 8 months.

I am now financially comfortable, able to tackle my mental health and about to start a Masters in the field I love.

Thought I'd be dead by now, no joke. Everything was so desperate and hopeless for a very long time. I got there eventually.

Hope this helps.

Very helpful

I really hope things continue to look up for you.

Hopeful bump for other stories.

I'm struggling.

I am only young and have many many more years ahead but I hope my story might give hope, especially as I have mental health issues too.

Grew up in single parent house hold, dad did not want to know after the first year, we moved over 10 Times in my first 7 years. Running away from horrible partners and such, eventually moved miles away. I was scared of my parent, screaming/smacking was their parenting technique, to the point where my sibling and I would hide at the top of the stairs, building up courage to go and ask for a drink. I did well at school because it meant i wasn't at home but i did not have friends as I didn't fit in and was too scared to be confident. I was depressed for as long as I could remember and looking back very anxious, I would have panic attacks at night terrified that one day i was going to die and end up in a coffin. I would go to counselling at school and college and began to self harm. My parent found out and threatened to have me committed, so I hid it better. I went to college but I was so depressed I struggled and didn't get into uni. I ended up applying year after year and kept backing out as I was too unsure. In college I was raped by a peer and it shattered my confidence. My friend and parent did not believe me.

I left home at 17 and went to live with an abusive boyfriend and his abusive father and sad mother. That did not last long and i ended up back home again. I worked in retail for many years and a few years later met a man through a friend, we moved in together after only a few months and my health got worse, I ended up in the doctors with her ringing the psych ward. I was psychotic and so anxious i couldn't leave a particular room and seeing and hearing things. I was suicidal and couldn't imagine living another week.

Here i am 3 years later.

I adopted a dog, who has been my rock. She has seen friends come and go, jobs change, but she and my partner walked by my side through 2 years of hell, meds, therapy, frightening times and I am on the up. I now have a job I absolutely adore after having 2 years out of working. It was hard, but so worth it.

I have a family that loves me and is only going to get bigger and my birth family is no where to be seen.

I know I have 3/4 of my life left and there will be I
Ups and downs, I'm still Ill, but I look after myself and dont ashamed for accepting help! now, I am excited beyond belief to see what those 75 years has in store for me! I am happier than ever and I will never understand people who say being an adult sucks and being a kid was amazing!! !

I thought my life was ruined too, job asked me to leave because of my illness, massive gaps in my c.f., I was 5 stone heavier because of my meds, I had horrible things on my medical records, now im losing the weight, my partner appreciates its day by day and I was able to weed out the rubbish friends who quickly jumped ship when my illness was not easy to deal with and wouldn't be going away.

I have a home and a family and a career and I'm so relived.

I'm pleased things look better cherrios, but I don't have mental health issues; I'm not really sure where you got the impression I do?