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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think I can live my life without FaceAche, SnapCrap, Twatter etc?

71 replies

Salmotrutta · 17/07/2017 22:46

Confused

I'm really wondering!?

I go into work blissfully unaware of the FaceAche stuff and have to actually converse with people who have shared all sorts of shite the minutiae of their life on FaceAche.

I then have no idea what they are on about.

But frankly it's usually a lot of pish anyway - but it's not very inclusive IFYSWIM?

Other colleagues come in and do all the "Ooh, I saw your photo, blah, blah blah" and I'm standing there saying "What are you talking about?" in a grumpy tone.

OP posts:
SandyDenny · 17/07/2017 23:35

If you don't want to be excluded why don't you just join facebook?

I can't see anyone changing what they talk about just because you choose not to have social media, why should they, you can solve this problem very easily

Original poster
Salmotrutta · 17/07/2017 23:36

YY - as I said, I'll bow out.

OP posts:
Ellisandra · 17/07/2017 23:41

Your decision to just now out of a thread with reasonable comments might be an example of you self excluding quite quickly.

I use Facebook. Don't find the need to call it FaceAche. You know that phrase - guns don't kill people, people do? I think it's like that - there's nothing wrong with Facebook, but some people will use it in a way you don't like.

I don't watch TV. Didn't have one before or after living with my XH. I've nothing against TV - just have never felt bothered about it. Can you imagine how many social conversations reference television programmes? Loads!

I still manage to join in with some of these, and there are other topics too.

Being rude about Facebook isn't going to help you be social.

LagunaBubbles · 17/07/2017 23:43

Of course you don't need to use Facebook etc. Its a choice. So you choose not to. But I cant abide it when people look down on others who do choose to use it. And by changing the words of their names in your title it's clear to see you are sneering a little.

EduCated · 17/07/2017 23:44

Do you feel you get on with them when they talk about something else?

I can see that it would be difficult if everyone continually talked about a topic that I didn't know about, but I can't imagine a situation where that really is the only topic of conversation. Do they chat if you strike up a conversation about something else?

Wondering if the social media is perhaps a bit of a scapegoat for generally feeling left out/out of step?

Original poster
Salmotrutta · 17/07/2017 23:45

I'm not "self excluding" - I'm just accepting that I might be wrong Ellisandra Hmm

I'm quite happy to accept I'm wrong.

OP posts:
Original poster
Salmotrutta · 17/07/2017 23:48

And yes, I'll admit my title was a bit sneery.

Educated - yes, I get along well with them when they aren't talking about Facebook/Snapchat posts.

OP posts:
Slimthistime · 17/07/2017 23:51

Well, quite a group of us went to dance classes at my last place, some played baseball or rounders in the park. Drinks after often get talked about next day.

Current boss is a book person like me so we share books and then chat about them.

Also, you are assuming that people use social media to talk about baby poop or whatever. I'm not even a parent (though I wouldn't talk about kids on social media anyway). So most of my tweets are about books, film, some political stuff, a lot of it is just chat with people who all want to analyse the last episode of Elementary.....see there again, if people talked about a tv show you don't watch, would you feel excluded? I'm the only one who doesn't watch Game of Thrones I think!

You're not making sense I'm afraid. I also hear colleagues talking to each other about Facebook posts, I don't pay attention. In a large office there's no way everyone would get involved in every chat.

EduCated · 17/07/2017 23:53

In that case I think you just have to accept it's a case of different interests.

I used to work next to an office of people who could talk about the most face-gnawingly boring guff. I mean truly, truly mind numbing. Lovely people individually, but that office did something to them. It was usually my cue to go and make a cup of tea.

Original poster
Salmotrutta · 17/07/2017 23:53

Ok - I'm not making sense Slim

I know.

It's because I'm wrong.

OP posts:
Original poster
Salmotrutta · 17/07/2017 23:58

EduCated - thank you. You have actually helped.

OP posts:
Ellisandra · 18/07/2017 00:00

I suggest that you're self excluding from this thread because you said very quickly that you were going to "bow out" and compared that to you behaviour at work...

And that earned me a Hmm

You are very defensive with you Hmm and bowing out comments and sneery titles and "it's because I'm wrong" comments.

Why the attitude?

PickAChew · 18/07/2017 00:02

Of course oyu can.

Though i like Twitter because you can make it pretty anonymous and uninvasive, so long as you're not rude about people who only have room for a washing machine in their kitchen. It's very easy to turn into an edifying echo chamber if you need that, though, by using the list function.

Original poster
Salmotrutta · 18/07/2017 00:03

Ok Ellisandra.

OP posts:
WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 18/07/2017 00:05

If you don't like not knowing what's going on, use social media.

Everyone else shouldn't have to keep quiet about what's been going on just because you aren't on it.

They're not excluding you, you're excluding yourself.

Ellisandra · 18/07/2017 00:06

Do you as snippy and sneery with your colleagues? Even if the Hmm for them is in your own head, and you keep a polite smiling facade?

Because if so, it will be hard to interact.

Stop judging your colleagues. Join in non fb related chat. And be open to joining in with the fb stuff. Not by having fb, but by listening and talking.

As I said, I don't have a TV. But last week I had a nice lunchtime social with a group of colleagues where I said "OK, you all know I don't watch Love Island - tell me why you like it?" Because I don't want to know what happens in it (or I'd watch it!) but I am interested in people, and them telling me what they like.

Ellisandra · 18/07/2017 00:07

OK Ellisandra

Do you come across as a snippy superior type in your workplace too?

I think that's more of a problem for you socially than your colleagues liking Facebook.

indigox · 18/07/2017 00:10

Do you as snippy and sneery with your colleagues? Even if the hmm for them is in your own head, and you keep a polite smiling facade?

I was thinking the exact same thing, if OP comes across in RL as she does on here I'm not surprised her colleagues talk about things she cant get involved i.

Slimthistime · 18/07/2017 00:21

And another brilliant thing about social media is finding out so much more. I can't afford to get to theatre or ballet often and I love to see things like rehearsal photos. With TV I like to know how the writers made certain choices. You couldn't possibly just randomly check all those websites every day could you?

I also know about more new authors with smaller publishers who don't fork out for big ads etc.

I just wanted to add that because you seem so sneery about it OP. Of course loads of people don't use it but that doesn't mean they turn their nose up at it. You said in your OP about being forced to actually converse. Lord knows I am not a fan of work and the chit chat it entails, but you're talking about your colleagues in a derogatory way when they've done nothing wrong.

Original poster
Salmotrutta · 18/07/2017 00:24

I've been having a little think.

I'm not the most socially comfortable person I suppose.

But I'm sorry if I came across as sneery.

I do actually get on with my colleagues by the way.

OP posts:
Original poster
Salmotrutta · 18/07/2017 00:28

Slim - I didn't mean I was forced to converse with my colleagues - what I meant to convey was that I was forced to converse about stuff on Facebook that I knew nothing about if I wanted to have any conversation at all.

I didn't express that well at all.

OP posts:
tinytemper66 · 18/07/2017 00:29

I have just deleted myself from a whatsapp group consisting of co-workers as I had a falling out professionally and it has taken an age to get back onto civil terms. However I don`t want to read about their meals out and the trivia of their lives. I did archive it but noticed I had over 100+ unread messages and thought I would remove myself from the group. I am awaiting the questions as to why in the morning! Should have done it ages ago!

ExplodedCloud · 18/07/2017 00:34

I think it's fine to say "Oh I missed that. What happened?" I have pathetically few friends on FB compared to some people I know but it's enough to make it plausible that I would miss things :)

Original poster
Salmotrutta · 18/07/2017 00:37

I do tend to do that ExplodedCloud - A fair bit of "What's that you're talking about?"

OP posts:
Ellisandra · 18/07/2017 00:37

Well, you say you get on with your colleagues - so why not just feel positive about that and try not to worry when the conversation leaves you out?

If as you say you're always socially comfortable (I hear you on that!) then is your irritation with Facebook chat more a reflection of something like frustration that you don't find it easy to just join in the casual chat?

I moved to a new company the year Big Brother first aired. I was the newbie trying to fit in and it was the ONLY topic of conversation at lunchtime (Nasty Nick, anyone?)

I actually sat through it about 5x to try to join in. You know what? Dammit - I was still shy and a bit awkward Grin

It's just not always easy.

I actually like Facebook with colleagues. Where I might have found a casual conversation hard to strike up before, I have so many easy convo starters now "oh I saw your photo of do you always cook like that at the weekend?" etc.

Seriously - don't knock the fluff on Facebook!

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