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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It's a parking thread!

137 replies

KentMum2008 · 17/07/2017 16:41

It's not me who is potentially BU, and as yet the situation hasn't escalated, but it will....

We live in a small cul de sac, parking is an utter nightmare and consequently a few neighbours have had dropped kerbs installed. The neighbour opposite me had a dropped kerb installed today, but there's a brick wall across their garden and it's still turfed/covered with flowers in pots so until they've knocked that down they obviously can't park on their drive. The drive itself doesn't actually exist yet.

Another neighbour has just parked across the new dropped kerb. It was the last space at this end of the cul de sac. Said neighbour is 18, has just passed his driving test and works in a PRU. He lives with, and is a carer for, his disabled dad, who he takes out in the mornings, and brings home with him after work. I think he goes to a Day centre type place, but the dad is always with him in the car so he needs to park as close as possible. He's an absolute beaut of a young man, and wouldn't say boo to a goose.

Here's the issue. When Dropped Kerb lady comes home, she's going to flip that he's parked there. I heard her chatting away to the guys doing the work saying that she'll 'go to town' on anyone who parks there, even while the wall is still in place. I'm hovering in the kitchen because once she's back it's going to kick off, and poor lovely young neighbour won't know how to deal with her.

Is Dropped Kerb neighbour BU expecting people to leave the space free (and does the law regarding Dropped kerbs stand when there's not actually a drive in place?) or is Lovely Young Neighbour BU for parking there?

And AIBU for being absolutely ready to leap to his defence?! I'm pretty good in confrontational situations, rarely lose my rag etc and I'd like to think if it was my son and I wasn't able to help him out, someone else would be there, even if it was only for a bit of solidarity. The only other neighbour who is indoors is a really quiet woman, in 10 years of living here I've never heard her utter a word to anyone other than her cat and a hedgehog once.

Diagram attached, obvs. Not that it makes things much clearer but it's not a real parking thread without a diagram.

It's a parking thread!
OP posts:
Original poster
KentMum2008 · 17/07/2017 17:07

Not sure why autocorrect is capitalising dropped kerb every time....

OP posts:
LyndaLaHughes · 17/07/2017 17:08

Don't you usually actually have to have a driveway which meets requirements e.g. For drainage etc first? Our council won't give permission for a dropped kerb until that is in place.

justkeepswimmingg · 17/07/2017 17:09

I think you should knock on the lovely neighbours door, and explain what you heard and about the drop kerb. If his dad gets stressed when someone knocks on the door, I can imagine that he'd be really stressed if he hears it kicking off with the drop kerb lady. Might be easier if he just moves it. Lovely that you're prepared to step in and defend him Smile.

Original poster
KentMum2008 · 17/07/2017 17:11

Cora LYM is the lovely neighbour, even as a young teenager he's been a darling. I remember struggling up the road with newborn DS in the buggy, ten tonne of shopping and DD having the strop to end all strops. LYM can't have been more than 11, getting off the school bus and I saw him hurrying towards me. He grabbed all the shopping out of my hands, said bye to his mates and walked home with us. His mum left when dad became really ill a few years back so it's pretty much been him doing everything since.

OP posts:
SheSaidHeSaid · 17/07/2017 17:14

Unfortunately, even though there is no actual drive in front of her drop kerb no one is allowed to park across it.

If it were me, I'd warn the lovely neighbour that he might want to move his car as you've overheard the convo with the other woman, then he can decide whether he wants to risk it or not. Eventually though he is going to need to get out the habit of being able to park there anyway.

Nice of you to look out for him Smile

Justhadmyhaircut · 17/07/2017 17:14

Driving test tips website says it's illegal to park across a dropped kerb if it's needed to cross a carriageway by a wheelchair /similar - so is there one across the road to match it?
It's illegal to prevent a resident accessing their driveway - which isn't applicable as yet is it?

Original poster
KentMum2008 · 17/07/2017 17:15

Think I'll put a note through the door.

OP posts:
MikeUniformMike · 17/07/2017 17:15

Thanks mangomay. You do sound like a lovely neighbour, and not only did you answer my question, you even included a diagram in the op.
I'd tell LYM.

Original poster
KentMum2008 · 17/07/2017 17:16

Nope, I'm pretty much opposite.

OP posts:
pinkunicornsarefluffy · 17/07/2017 17:16

re disabled space, a friend of mine had one painted outside their house by the Council. Anyone with a disabled badge can use it, so it is not solely for their use, but it is generally free when they need it and they are parked in it most of the time.

I would help the young lad to contact the Council and see if they can have one painted outside their house.

Original poster
KentMum2008 · 17/07/2017 17:22

OK I've just checked the council website. It's fairly straightforward, but potentially lengthy and could cost up to £200! LYM only bought his car last month so maybe he's already on it, it's just not gone ahead yet. I've put on the note that if he wants a hand applying for it, I'm happy to help.

OP posts:
LurkingHusband · 17/07/2017 17:23

Unfortunately, even though there is no actual drive in front of her drop kerb no one is allowed to park across it.

The owner of the property can.

We had a real ding dong a few years back. Some newbies moved in, and immediately set about pissing the entire street off. (The lady was a shouty sweary nasty disablist). I never found out what they did to annoy our lovely NDN, but he started parking his car across his dropped kerb, rather than on his drive. This meant his car was (legally) parked on the road directly opposite their dropped kerb. And because they seemed to struggle to manoeuvre their car, they had a real problem reversing off their drive.

Police called, etc, who said (a) NDN wasn't breaking any law, and (b) the Highway code says to reverse into drives wherever possible.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 17/07/2017 17:25

YAY!

Parking avec illustration!

Original poster
KentMum2008 · 17/07/2017 17:28

Ok, note says:

'Hi LYM, hope you and dad are ok. Just wanted to check you know DKL has had her kerb dropped with a view to installing a driveway. I heard her mentioning to the builders that she won't be happy if anyone parks across it, so just wanted to give you a heads up, she's usually home about 6:30. If you want to move your car into the space our car is in, DH will be home at 6 and he'll move down the road.

Also, have you thought about applying to the council for a disabled bay outside your house? It's fairly straightforward, but if you need any help just knock.

Mango

OP posts:
ScissorBow · 17/07/2017 17:38

What a lovely neighbour you are. I hope this ends well for you and LYM

chocolateworshipper · 17/07/2017 17:39

Penguin bollards!

Not really, but I just wanted to be the first to mention them - can't have a parking thread without penguin bollards being mentioned.

We had animation on the last parking thread OP, so if you could upload a video of the nasty neighbour arriving home and seeing LYN's car, that would be appreciated.

Tingotango · 17/07/2017 17:40

Mango you're so lovely! I hope LYM comes to talk to you about it and move cars etc before nasty woman comes home. I also hope he gets his disabled bay sorted, they certainly need it and deserve it by all accounts. If they can't afford it maybe consider a charity page to raise money for one? I'd certainly considered donating

gingergenius · 17/07/2017 17:42

@mangomay set up a crowdfunding page! I'd donate too! Good idea @Tingotango

SchadenfreudePersonified · 17/07/2017 17:43

YAY!

Parking avec illustration!

Original poster
KentMum2008 · 17/07/2017 17:43

I sent DS with the note, LYM opened the door a few seconds after and called 'was that you littlemango?' DS said 'yeah it's a letter from my mum. I think it's important!'

DH is home now so hoping LYM will knock in a bit and we'll move.

OP posts:
BewareOfDragons · 17/07/2017 17:45

Great note. Really glad you gave LYM the heads up. I hope he applies for a special parking space which will help a lot, no doubt.

Your other neighbour sounds like a real pain in the arse. How they to to put in a dropped kerb before actually putting in an approved driveway... odd!

BlackbirdSingsInTheDeadOfNight · 17/07/2017 17:47

Mango you sound absolutely lovely and so does LYM. Hope he gets it sorted without any grief from Dropped Kerb Neighbour. Your comment about Unnaturally Quiet Neighbour and her conversations only with her cat and on one occasion a hedgehog made me snort!

Great diagram btw!

Original poster
KentMum2008 · 17/07/2017 17:48

The crowdfunding thing is a really good idea, but I think LYM would hate it. He doesn't like a fuss. I remember when his mum left a few years ago and there were plenty of people offering help etc and he gratefully accepted mostly, but I know he hated all the attention. He was glad when it all died down.

The council website says you may have to pay up to £200 so hopefully it's loads less than that.

OP posts:
comedycentral · 17/07/2017 17:49

You sound like a lovely neighbour.

EggysMom · 17/07/2017 17:50

OK I've just checked the council website. It's fairly straightforward, but potentially lengthy and could cost up to £200!

We have a disabled bay painted on the road outside (we have Blue Badge for our son). It did take three months to be processed, but was then provided with no further discussion and at no charge to ourselves.

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