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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend and CM

7 replies

keepingmymouthshut · 17/07/2017 15:08

Have NC for this as quite identifying.
My friend we'll call her Jane has a 16 year old DD who lives with dad and she doesn't see her. There have been many reasons given for this but it's become quite obvious recently that it's simply because she lives with dad and is essentially punishing her DD for it. However her exH claims maintenance through CMS (and rightly so) but Jane seems to think that this money should go directly to her DD and started to get other people (relatives) to contact her DD when she pays the monthly sum. Along the lines of 'Mum has paid the money into their account now make sure you get it because it's your money'
I stopped discussing the situation with her DD months ago because it's starting to frustrate me but she volunteers this info every time she does it. It's like she thinks she deserves some kind of praise for paying towards her daughters upbringing.
AIBU to say to tell her next time she says it that I have no interest in her vendetta with her ex and his wife and that in my eyes CM is for the child's upbringing costs and not spending money?
She'll probably fall out with me but tbh it would be a relief!

OP posts:
keepingmymouthshut · 17/07/2017 15:32

Anyone?

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 17/07/2017 15:36

She's a knob and I'd have snapped long before now!

There's an argument for staying out of it if it doesn't crop up that often and she's otherwise a good friend. But if she's not and her issues about this are taking over whenever you meet just tell her she's being stupid, and will continue to drive her DD away by expecting credit for her small contribution.

NellieFiveBellies · 17/07/2017 15:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

toosexyforyahshirt · 17/07/2017 15:43

Why do you have such shitty friends, is the real question?

ginswinger · 17/07/2017 15:43

She doesn't sound like a particularly pleasant woman, either to refuse to see her child or to try to direct CMS payments away from her ex's outgoings. I might be tempted to give her a piece of my mind then cut contact.

RebelRogue · 17/07/2017 15:52

If you don't mind losing the friendship go ahead. People like that don't like being pulled up on their behaviour and don't change either.

keepingmymouthshut · 17/07/2017 17:25

It's going to be slightly difficult because I've only just cottoned on to what kind of person she really is 😔
My kids call her 'auntie' I feel really
Stupid tbh but she was so adamant that her ex and his wife had set out to ruin her life when by the looks of it the opposite is more like the truth!

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