To think I'll never be emotionally normal (for me) again
Redpandaeyes · 17/07/2017 08:42
DD is now one. I didn't suffer from PND which I was actually a little surprised about as I have been prone to depression in the past and was facing an exceptional level of stress throughout my pregnancy and the first few months afterwards (was single from 3 months pregnant). I love being a mum and except for being tired am coping really well and never feel particularly low. In fact I'd say I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life.
The issue is this - I've always been quite sensitive and emotional, and been affected by others being upset etc. But ever since dd was born this has intensified to sometimes ridiculous levels. I find myself immediately welling up at the silliest of things - adverts, TV programmes, articles (not necessarily particularly sad ones) etc. It's short-lived and I don't dwell on it, it's more the frequency of it and how immediate it is.
This on its own would be a bit embarrassing but not a serious isssue, but the thing that worried about my job requires me speak to bereaved
MistressPage · 17/07/2017 08:50
I could have written this OP. Becoming a parent does open up the floodgates and turn you into a super sensitive empath most of the time. You just have to embrace it. Something about all that love.. there is no love like the love you gave for your children, and the scariness of the vulnerability of this little person you now need to protect and look after.
MommaGee · 17/07/2017 08:50
When are you due to go back to work?
I have just started back volunteering with Samaritans. I'm more metionally sensitive since the baby but also not feeling overly emotionally resilient either. However I've found it's a totally different head space.
Can you ask for some KIT days and do some role plays etc?
MommaGee · 17/07/2017 08:53
Can you explain to work that you're feeling more emotional and would appreciate some refresher training? I found role plays were a good way to get used to it again.
Do you know the type of bereavement before you talk to them? Could you ask to not do child bereavement for a short while?
Redpandaeyes · 17/07/2017 09:01
MommaGee yes I do know in advance and I would avoid anything child-related at the moment which would be doable.
Could I ask everyone, if you were talking to a health professional about the death of your loved-one and they welled up, would you find this offensive or upsetting in any way or would it in a way at least show they had some empathy (maybe clutching at straws here in case I can't help it and it becomes noticeable!) The thing is, I DO genuinely care about the families I see so it's not like I wasn't affected before, it's just that now I can't hide it!
Anniegetyourgun · 17/07/2017 09:07
I was a mess until I went back to work, when DC1 was 9 months old - fortunately round about the time he started to sleep through. Having problems to solve rather than single-focus maternal stuff got me out of it within a week or two. Hope it'll do the same for you. You should find that having to focus on your clients' needs will pull you out of that mother-and-baby bubble quicker than anything. OK, your emotions might catch up with you when you get home again, that could take longer to get over... but at least you'll be functional during the daytime
Disclaimer: my memory is a bit hazy after 30+ years and given that I wasn't particularly "with it" around that time, as pretty much as soon as I'd recovered from DC1, DC2 came along, and then an unintended third, so I was kind of a mess off and on for about five years. I sensibly left a big gap until the 4th. Mind you, really sensible parents stop at 1 or 2.
5moreminutes · 17/07/2017 09:09
Are you still breast feeding?
I was like this too, but only when the children were quite small - I think, though I didn't pin point it at the time, it probably gradually wore off after stopping breast feeding. Pregnancy, post partum and while breast feeding I was extremely over emotional (inside, tried to keep it in as I'm not a crier, but did cry more than usual) about anything child related.
I'm still more affected by things related to children of any age than before I had children, but that is merely because it is easier to imagine, it's no longer uncontrollable because there are no longer hormones involved, I assume.
Redpandaeyes · 17/07/2017 09:26
Thanks Summer no it'd never get to the point where they might feel I needed a hug!
Annie that's a good point, hopefully the work structure and routine will enable me to detach a bit
5moreminutes no not breastfeeding anymore but perhaps not being in proximity to dd 24/7 will have an effect on hormones etc?
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