Ex looking for signs of abuse in my son.

[Sarahlaynee]

It's getting ridiculous now.

My ex wants custody of our son (for the money mostly). For whatever reason he slanders my name to his family and friends. Truth is I'm a good mum, he just wants custody so he doesn't have to work in his dead end job full time and is very resentful that I left him.

Anyway he always comes back saying 'I found a bruise on his knee'. 😁

Yesterday he said our son had cradle cap and a bruise on his skull. Our son has thick hair so he must have literally combed through his hair and examined his skull to even notice that! The doctor said he had mild cradle cap. Unfortunately for my ex it's not a sign of abuse.

They took our son to the dentist as his teeth were yellow but unfortunately for them the dentist said everything was fine.

My concern now is, how many more unnecessary Doctor and dentist visits will be be subjected to?

They're looking for evidence im a bad mum but they won't find any.

AIBU to be concerned about this?

My son is well looked after, I provide for him very well. My ex and his family say I spend all his money on myself but ther s no proof of that and indeed it isn't true.

Oh ffs. He's just clutching at straws, the stupid man.

He will be the one to get accused of abusing the child if he keeps making unnecessary appointments.

and yeah the resident parent always spend the money on makeup/booze/going out/anything other than the child, but funnily enough the children are still clothed, fed housed, bought toys etc.

Funny isn't it!

Apparently I'm also unstable. I am a social worker btw!

He has a huge smoking habit and likes a bottle of wine a night. I think we all know who spends their money selfishly.

I think deep down they know it's not even true. Just clutching at straws.

It does worry me though. They cut his nails aswell saying they were too long. They're weren't. So his nails have been cut unnecessarily. It's sad my son going to such a toxic environment. He only goes once a fortnight though so at least th contact is minimal.

It may be worth considering all contact stopped, or at least supervised contact with only the father.
I'm presuming your son is still very young (because of the cradle cap), but if all this absurdity carries on as the child gets older, then it will have a bad effect on him being in such a toxic environment.

I had to to consider the same thing when I was having very similar problems with my ex; he'd verbally abuse me and my parenting because DS was in shoes far too small for him so I told him to get DS measure himself and it showed he was not in shoes too small, and I too was apparently spending all the maintenance on myself although all of DS's son's were met and many of his wants (toys and days out) whilst I wasn't getting anything for myself (I had only 3 pairs of knickers and 2 bras that fit me ffs).
Luckily my situation sorted itself out before DS became old enough to understand all the bullshit that was being said about me whilst he was around, because ex moved out of his mum's house and seems to have changed a lot since then.

When I was younger my dad would often discuss with his family how my mum bullies me and how I'm scared of her shouting, he'd always drop me off saying "don't worry if she shouts as I'll be back for you next weekend", it took me to the age of 10-11 to finally realise that my mum wasn't actually a shouting and ranting bully, and I wasn't really scared of her but I just felt this way every time I was being dropped of my dad because of what he said to me.
I haven't bothered with him since I was 13.

As a social worker do you have any friends at work who would support you? Obviously they will be friends but I still think they would be considered good witnesses for your character and parenting as their professional reputation would be at stake. You could ask a friend to look round your home and meet your ds if you don't normally do this.