Negative weight loss comments

[imjusthereforasec]

I am mid way through a large weight loss programme. I have lost enough now that it is noticeable and I feel a little more body confident but still got a fair way to go to reach goal (at least 3 stone).

Mostly its been really positive comments, but what's with the

"you don't want to lose too much"
"you'll waste away if you lose any more"
"Don't lose too much you'll look gaunt"

These are all comments I have had in the last week from slim women. My goal weight is to be in the 'healthy' BMI range so nothing silly!

So far I have laughed off them off but it's getting a little repetitive, especially one 'friend' who seems to make the comments each time i see her. I genuinely want to understand why people say this or AIBU?

Yep, people can he negative about someone else's weight loss. I worked with someone who lost a significant amount of weight and got told she looked gaunt. By someone else at work who had a reputation for being a cow. She didn't she looked great.

I asked if she'd had the opinion of someone she listens to. Yes she said smiling. Enough said IMO.

I assume people envy someone's deliberate weight loss success just because they've had some success, about anything.

(I think people who have successfully given up smoking and become a non-smoker can get torn down by their fellow smokers too.)

I once lost a lot of weight and got called a bitch for no good reason.

People get envious of other people's lives/car/children/financial position in life/partner etc etc etc. Successful deliberate weight loss is just something else for people get envious of, it seems to me. Like I said, envious of your success because you've had some.

Who gave you permission to lose weight ? It wasn't them, was it ? Especially if they take the view that you've lost weight to attract or keep a partner. Or worse still seem to think that you've lost weight to attract their partner - who you've never seen & probably wouldn't want them if you did.

If you've been the 'fat friend', the bench mark of, 'I'll never be as fat as her/him' then it upsets their particular apple cart that you've gone and lost weight. Well that's not on as far as they are concerned. Even if you've been nice to them for various reasons over the years.

The implication could be, 'why don't you lose weight like she did ?' Or She's lost weight why don't / can't you ?'

So you may have created work for them unwittingly. Some people are very precious about 'the slim club' (no such thing exists, I just made that up) and don't care for new members to come from fat and happy. The overweight are there to be sneered at as far as some are concerned. Not lose weight and start getting attention.

Just you keep on doing what you were doing. THIS GIRL CAN DID.

I find people of an 'older' generation do this... a lot!

Start losing weight - not losing it quick enough
faster weight loss - you'll put it all back on
stalled weight loss - have you put on weight?
doing well - you look gaunt/old/ill
have a little podge (gas, chub, whatever) - are you pregnant?

I just change the subject now, and eat what the heck I want!! lol

OP I really know the feeling. I get it all the time. I get told i'm not doing it properly because i'm starving myself (not true), i'm too thin now (not true), I'm not "as pretty" now because i've lost too much (thanks!). It's relentless!

Thinner people tell you "you'll waste away if you lose any more"?

The only response to that is: "What, you mean like you?"

They won't like it, but they shouldn't be dishing it out if they can't take it.

My mum does this a lot. She is obese (not being unkind, she meets the medical definition) and is like this with anyone who has lost weight. I've gone down to 10st11lbs (9lbs over the top end of my healthy weight going off the NHS calculator) and she tells me how tiny I am, if I lose more I'll look gaunt etc.

I think it upsets her when other women lose weight as the contrast to her own weight is quite striking. Her relationship with food is completely messed up and has definitely rubbed off on myself and my siblings. She will say she is confused that she hasn't lost weight because she's eaten salad for lunch for weeks, forgetting that she eats cake pretty much every day, along with crisps. She also drives distances you can walk in 10 minutes, no exaggeration.

She is in denial, as are a lot of overweight people. There is a range of sizes and shapes that are healthy, especially in women where a pear shape and an apple shape of the same weight look very different, but people's views get skewed so that they think their size 22 body is curvy or a bit chubby and my size 12 body is skinny.

Oops OP, missed that you were getting this from slim women. Then they probably don't want to stop being the slimmest woman in the room, to be honest. Just insecurity.

This happened to my sister, lots of so called friends started saying 'you don't want to look like a stick, too skinny, be all skin and bones etc' so sadly she listened and gave up with her weight loss.