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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is cheeky AF

15 replies

Cheekybintoooo · 16/07/2017 21:03

Long standing close friend has a reputation being flakey. After being the recipient of her pulling out of things one too many times/ignoring me for perceived wrongdoings, I have cooled off from the friendship...

She is now going round telling mutual friends that things are awkward between us be is coming to an event I am hosting (jointly, with mutual friends) in a week - yet has not got in touch with me about it! I really don't want her to come. Just raging!

OP posts:
ChasedByBees · 16/07/2017 21:15

Has she been invited?

Bunbunbunny · 16/07/2017 21:15

Who is coming?

Original poster
Cheekybintoooo · 16/07/2017 21:17

Yes she has been invited - not by me. A few friends are coming. I'm offended because I'm not good enough to speak to but good enough to still attend a party I'm hosting...

OP posts:
ChasedByBees · 16/07/2017 21:29

Perhaps she's hoping it'll be less awkward and you can resolve things.

Also it depends on the type of event. If it's a community type event, then regardless of whether youve organised it, she can attend. She shouldn't be split off from other friends because you've cooled things with her.

If it's your birthday party, then YANBU.

StickThatInYourPipe · 16/07/2017 21:30

Surely she is friends with the others organising and they are allowed to invite who they want there?

Original poster
Cheekybintoooo · 16/07/2017 21:31

It's an event in my house...

OP posts:
Osolea · 16/07/2017 21:32

I don't get it. You said you've cooled off from her, so why would she contact you? Maybe she took the hint. And if other mutual friends are hosting the party along with you, then surely you'd expect her to go thought them?

Osolea · 16/07/2017 21:32

Through

StickThatInYourPipe · 16/07/2017 21:32

But your mutually hosting with other people, it doesn't matter where it is, you agree to have your friends invitees when you agreed to co-host with them

Gemini69 · 16/07/2017 21:36

Lady.... it is YOUR house my dear....

you can let in and keep out whomever the heck you want.... x

ChasedByBees · 16/07/2017 22:14

It does sound a little bit like you might be trying to 'wendy' her. I hope not though.

And even if the event is in your house, it still depends on what the event is.

tigercub50 · 16/07/2017 22:22

What does it mean to "Wendy" someone?

Original poster
Cheekybintoooo · 16/07/2017 22:24

The opposite! I have reached out to her many times and after being repeatedly upset by her have cooled off - she has not been in contact?

OP posts:
ChasedByBees · 16/07/2017 22:28

Ok, sorry for the implication. It is hurtful when that happens.

Tiger - on MN there was a story about a woman and the OP said, 'let's call her Wendy...'. 'Wendy' was trying to separate the OP from her friends and cut her out of her friendship group.

I was just wondering if the event is one that Cheeky's ex-friend would normally attend with other friends but because it's at Cheeky's house, it's difficult for her to go.

Gemini69 · 16/07/2017 22:36

I've never heard of the Wendy thing either lol ....

you learn something now every day huh lol

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