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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask how to tell my boss I'm leaving?

26 replies

caddywally · 16/07/2017 17:50

I'm not experienced with this and am wondering how much notice I should give. My contract asks for a month of notice, but I'm unsure if I should let my current employer know a few months in advance so it's easier for them to find and train a replacement before I leave. I think this might make it easier for them, but I'm also wary of making it awkward by announcing that I'm leaving, and having to work in a slightly awkward environment for longer than necessary. Any thoughts?

OP posts:

DeadGood · 16/07/2017 17:53

Why are you leaving? Do you have another job to go to?

BellyBean · 16/07/2017 17:54

Give statutory or you run the risk of them giving you notice and you're out before you planned.

Creampastry · 16/07/2017 17:55

If you give them too much notice they could make you leave sooner. So 2 months notice now could be one month paid.

blueshoes · 16/07/2017 18:16

Are you going to another job? It is advisable to have the other job in place (ie signed the offer letter of employment) before you give notice. That way, the impact if your existing employer decides to kick you out earlier is reduced because you have another job waiting in the wings.

In my experience of the companies I have worked at, no employer has done a dirty or made an awkward atmosphere after I resigned. I like to leave on good terms and hence agree the notice period with my manager and do a proper handover. I once served out the full 3 month notice period with hired my replacement and trained them before I left.

It would be extremely petty for an employer to lash out just because someone has resigned. What is your sense - do you think your boss is reasonable and decent or petty and vindictive. How have they treated out employees who have resigned?

topcat2014 · 16/07/2017 18:23

Most decent employers would appreciate a little extra notice than required - for example rounding a month's notice up to the end of the next week, or something.

For example, I am an accountant, and would always make sure payroll was done before I left.

Original poster

caddywally · 16/07/2017 18:25

I don't have another job to go to at the moment. Quite a few of the jobs I've seen advertised and have been interested in have asked to contact my employer for a reference before the interview has even taken place, which has put me off applying for them and made me think that perhaps I need to let me employer know before I start applying for other jobs.

I get along well with my boss and she seems very reasonable and decent so I don't think she'd be petty if I told her that I was leaving. Nobody in my team has left in the time I've been there so I can't use previous experience to gauge how it'll be received.

OP posts:

AlternativeTentacle · 16/07/2017 18:29

Most decent employers would appreciate a little extra notice than required

If they want more notice they should pop that in the contract.

Give them the month's notice. No more, no less. If you tell them before you even have a job then knowing you are looking leaves you out in the cold. And if you don't get another job, you have to stay.

Afterthenight · 16/07/2017 18:32

A month's notice if that's what the contract says.
I know someone who gave more and they asked her to leave early once they got a replacement in.

topcat2014 · 16/07/2017 18:36

Note my comment @decent employers.

If the OP has a shite one, I recommend just the amount specified - and if that means leaving on a tuesday so be it,.

Horsemad · 16/07/2017 18:38

Are you leaving whether or not you have a new job to go to?

Brittbugs80 · 16/07/2017 18:46

I gave extra notice, an extra week as I was a Room Leader. Because they didn't want me to leave, they made it a bit unbearable and made lots of unprofessional digs in front of parents. I wish I'd stuck to my 4 week period to save me some of the grief I got.

Why are you leaving? If they received a reference request before you hand your notice in, is there anything they could do to persuade you to stay?

happypoobum · 16/07/2017 18:49

Why are you leaving if you don't have another job to go to?

I agree with PP - only give the notice you have to. No offence but they probably won't be nearly as upset as you think

It's extremely rare for any employer to want references before interviewing - are you sure you have that correct?

Horsemad · 16/07/2017 18:56

I remember a school job I applied for wanted references before interview, so I had to tell my boss I'd applied for another job.

Original poster

caddywally · 16/07/2017 18:57

Horsemad I'm not sure. I feel as though I'll have to hand in my notice, or at least give my employer a warning that I will be handing in my notice, before I get a job offer as some places want to contact my employer for a reference prior to the interview. If that means my notice period is up and I leave my current job before I find a new one, I wouldn't be massively worried. I'd be able to manage out of work for a couple of months (though obviously that's not ideal) and wouldn't be taking a massive pay cut if I ended up shelf-stacking for a little while before I found something else.

Brittbugs80 I'm just fed up of the job and don't see it leading to anywhere that would interest me. There's nothing that they could do realistically to make me stay.

OP posts:

Original poster

caddywally · 16/07/2017 19:03

happypoobum I thought it was bizarre, too! It was a local university, college and NHS that asked for references prior to interview, though the NHS did provide an option to opt out of this.

I'm thinking about leaving because I'm really fed up of this job. I can't enjoy my weekend or evenings as I'm just dreading the next time I go back to work. While I'm there I feel like I'm one step away from finally snapping and going completely potty. It's making me more miserable than it's worth.

OP posts:

Brittbugs80 · 16/07/2017 19:24

Im just fed up of the job and don't see it leading to anywhere that would interest me. There's nothing that they could do realistically to make me stay

Is it possible to ask them to contact for references once a job offer has been made?

Notevilstepmother · 16/07/2017 19:58

Don't give your notice.Do book an appointment with your manager and tell her you are applying for other jobs, it's the polite things to do. Give your notice when you have a written offer and not before.

If you don't want to tell your manager you are applying, most companies won't ask existing employers without asking you first, and generally when they get past the offer stage.

TheGoblinKing · 16/07/2017 20:38

They're not likely to actually go to the trouble of actually contacting anyone before even interviewing you. They just want to know that they can. Ask them to only contact if you get an offer. If there's an HR dept, give those contact details. And good luck with the job hunt.

Original poster

caddywally · 16/07/2017 21:37

Thanks for all your advice. I think I'll book an appointment with my manager and let her know I'm looking for something else. She's a great manager so I think it's unlikely that she'll make the next couple of months unnecessarily difficult.

OP posts:

AlternativeTentacle · 17/07/2017 06:39

No no no!

Look for job, find job, and then tell your manager giving them the notice they have you contracted to give. Not the other way around.

You think she is going to be lovely when she knows you hate the job and are looking elsewhere? The chances of that are minute.

FrancisCrawford · 17/07/2017 08:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

caddywally · 17/07/2017 18:27

AlternativeTentacle and FrancisCrawford, what's your take on potential employers requesting references prior to interviews? Wouldn't it seem rude if my current employer gets a reference request out of the blue one day, without me mentioning that I'm looking for another job?

OP posts:

Parker231 · 17/07/2017 18:32

Why would you give more notice than required? Don't say anything in advance. Just give your notice in a month before you want to leave.

crapatpickingnames · 17/07/2017 18:47

OP its very strange of potential employers to contact references before a job offer, never mind before the interview. Are you sure they state they will actually make contact, or are they just requesting to have in advance? Most applications I have filled out have a section for references, but upon offer of employment only then do they contact current employers.
It sounds like this is your first job, if you're not sure how it works?
There's no need to give additional notice, ever tbh. Unless you expect your current employer to come up with a great offer to get you to stay, there's no real reason to tell them you're looking elsewhere either.

Parker231 · 17/07/2017 19:17

The way it usually works is after a successful interview, an offer of employment is made which is conditional on appropriate references (many employers will only confirm job title, start and end date (if the end date has happened)). I wouldn't hand in your notice until you have received the written offer of employment unless you want to leave regardless of new employment.

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