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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just give up

44 replies

juicekite · 16/07/2017 15:28

I want to work so badly but I've had one job Blush it makes me want to cry.
I don't have any qualifications and I certainly don't have any skills that employers would find useful. I just had a look on my local uni at courses and there's not one I can apply for because I have no exam qualifications to begin with! I'm a complete failure. I hate the lack of money and confidence I have. I'm so depressed. I don't even know where to begin

OP posts:
formerbabe · 16/07/2017 15:29

What do you want to do? What exam qualifications do you need in the first place which you are missing?

GirlOnATrainToShite · 16/07/2017 15:30

You are not a failure.

What do you want to do?

Is there anything you can volunteer to do? A lot of voluntary placements offer training?

Original poster
juicekite · 16/07/2017 15:31

ANYTHING! I just don't have anything good to offer an employer. Long term, an axillary nurse or primary school teacher.
Maths and English qualifications are the ones I can see it requires, well any of the course requires

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 16/07/2017 15:31

It's miserable being unemployed when you want to work.

What types of jobs are you looking at? Could you volunteer for a bit alto help with references and recent experience?

If you're missing GCSE maths/English could you look at trying those again?

Loraline · 16/07/2017 15:32

What was the one job you had, how long did you do it and how long ago was it?

Original poster
juicekite · 16/07/2017 15:33

I tried to volunteer at my local nct group, I went along spilt a fair bit of stuff and managed to lock some of the parents out and I just got so flustered I burst out crying and haven't been back. I was physically shaking Sad I'm doomed aren't I
I need a grip. Fast

OP posts:
GirlOnATrainToShite · 16/07/2017 15:33

Do you need qualifications to be an Aux Nurse or health care assistant?

Everyone has good qualities and skills to offer an employer - do you have a family? Run your own home?

PurpleDaisies · 16/07/2017 15:33

Cross posted with you. How old are you? There are often apprenticeships for would-be teaching assistants? The pay is pretty awful but it's a way into school for experience.

Original poster
juicekite · 16/07/2017 15:33

Working in a shop, 6 years ago

OP posts:
joojoobean99 · 16/07/2017 15:34

Any distance learning courses you can possibly look at? I became a bookkeeper by doing a relatively cheap (compared to college courses) accountancy course and it really boosted my earnings (worked in admin for a pretty low wage before that). There are a lot of free courses you can take online too, depending on what you want to do. TBH, a lot of employers just want to see that you've made an effort to improve your prospects, so taking any free courses you can will count for something.

GirlOnATrainToShite · 16/07/2017 15:34

Don't let one bad experience put you off.

Sounds like you have really low self esteem..? Sad

Original poster
juicekite · 16/07/2017 15:37

My self esteem went away a long time ago. I've been relentlessly bullied for being ugly and being too fat that I've just believed them. My own mother sees no worth while values in me, how can I expect anybody else to? But that's another thread, I'm just no good to anybody. Many a days I've been laid on the floor sobbing my heart out wishing somebody could see how misreble I am. I've no adult contact with anybody other than my mother and the person at the job centre since 2012 Its very depressing

OP posts:
CoarseConcepts · 16/07/2017 15:37

What do you want to achieve? Work backwards from there.

BabsGanoush · 16/07/2017 15:41

I just had a look on my local uni at courses and there's not one I can apply for because I have no exam qualifications to begin with

Well go and get the exam qualifications you need. No one walks into their ideal job - folk put a lot of hard work, time and thought into what they want to do and how they will get there.

Have you spoken to anyone at the Uni for advice? There are other routes to a degree.

Or are you giving up at the first hurdle?

bestwayforward · 16/07/2017 15:42

What training to be a carer no qualifications needed.

bestwayforward · 16/07/2017 15:43

Sorry meant to say what about care, posted too soon.

GirlOnATrainToShite · 16/07/2017 15:44

Ok - you need to go to your GP and ask for some counselling.

hesterton · 16/07/2017 15:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CremeFresh · 16/07/2017 15:48

Have a look on the Indeed app or website. I've just done a quick search and found an admin job in Sainsburys that requires previous retail experience and nothing more.

What area of the country are you ?

Pariswhenitdrizzles · 16/07/2017 15:49

Flowers for you OP. I promise you that you will find a job that you love Flowers

As previous posters have mentioned, is there a possibility that you could look into GCSE maths and English courses for adults? I'm sure that there will be classes offered for free or, if not, for a small fee.

Also, what kind of things do you enjoy doing? For example, if you enjoy art, gardening or caring for animals, could you find any places near you where you can do those activities (such as helping out a neighbour, for example?) The website of your local council may also have lists of local clubs and groups that you might fancy joining FlowersSmile

Good luck :)

Pariswhenitdrizzles · 16/07/2017 15:50

And I echo the previous poster's suggestion about booking an appointment to see your GP - it sounds like it may be really helpful Flowers

Beeziekn33ze · 16/07/2017 15:54

Go to a local college which does basic courses for adults. There's likely to be suitable Maths and English for you there. Your local library will also advise you.
Would you consider volunteering for a few hours a week at a small charity shop? They vary a lot and some would welcome you to tidy up and make tea. I say this because working the till and preparing donations for sale can be stressful it depends on the manager. They vary too!
Talk to your doctor about your feelings of loneliness and lack of confidence. They may be able to pinpoint a specific way to help you. It could be a few sessions of therapy or some medication, see what they suggest.
I truly hope life improves for you and your DC, 💐

Welshmaenad · 16/07/2017 15:54

Well, you have adult contact with us and we care Flowers

I think you need to address your anxiety issues and build your self esteem slowly. Care work would be a good stepping stone in the longer term but it can be quite pressured to get round the clients and office staff can be hard to deal with, which I think would knock you back at this stage.

Could you maybe look into volunteering in a local nursing home etc or in the community, befriending people who are lonely? No pressure just a cuppa and a chat, it would get you out of the house, talking with people, give you a sense of value and purpose, and be a good stepping stone to care or aux nursing work. You sound like you would be really empathetic and a great listener and have loads to offer!

Yy to seeing your GP too. Definitely.

Original poster
juicekite · 16/07/2017 15:56

What do I search for to find courses to gain the needed qualifications? There isn't anything like this on my local uni site,
Had a look at the Sainsbury job thanks pp I'll need to work up the courage to apply, I don't even have a cv. I have nothing worthwhile to put on it
Very isolated but it's been like this for years, I've got used to it. My child even has a speech impediment because she doesn't interact with any other children. Its me her and my mum

OP posts:
ColdAsIceCubes · 16/07/2017 15:56

Does your local authority run adult education lessons? Look into it, it could change your whole future!