to think we should give up potty training for now

[MelvinThePenguin]

Our DD1 is 25 months. She is very switched on, talks in full sentences and is ahead of where she should be developmentally. However, she just cannot seem to grasp potty training.

In 4 full days of taking her to the toilet every 30 minutes, putting her in knickers and introducing a sticker chart, we have had a 0% success rate in actually using the toilet. She just wets herself and then comes and tells me there's water on the floor/her trousers are wet.

She's fine with the process of using the toilet (pants down, climb on, wipe, pants up, wash hands) she just misses the important bit. She has been shown multiple times what to do.

She is an exhausting child with boundless energy and the capacity for terrible tantrums. I'm just not sure I can take this as well.

On the flip side, I really want her out of nappies (my 9 week old in nappies is enough) and don't want her to be in them when her peers are potty trained.

When you say toilet, do you not have an actual potty? Might be more appealing for a little toddler than the big toilet, plus you can have them really nearby, and you can plonk them on it immediately when you see a wee coming, and they can even sit on it while watching TV or playing with toys, to get them used to it.

She's just turned 2 then? That's quite early for potty training. Leave it for now and try again in 6 months.

My DD talked early, walked early and is very clever. She wasn't fully dry until the end of Year 1 in school. It's just pot luck when their bladder muscles are ready. Anything upto 7 years old is in the normal range apparently.

She's only just turned two, I promise you that not all her peers are potty trained!

It doesn't sound like she knows when she needs to go yet, so she's not ready for potty training.

Children are ready to potty train when they are aware of the sensation of needing a wee, with enough warning that they can actually get to the toilet. Doesn't necessarily relate to other skills such as talking. Plenty of her peers will still be in nappies, even in a years time. Annoying to have two lots of nappies to change, but also convenient in the sense that you don't have to juggle feeding the baby with taking her for an urgent wee!

If you've had 0% success in 4 days, I'd be inclined to put her back in nappies for a few weeks and then try again.

My older boys weren't potty trained until about 3 yrs, and they weren't unusual in that, at least where we live, so I wouldn't be worrying too much about her being behind her peers just yet.

She doesn't sound ready, give it another couple of months.
I tried when DD was 2.5yrs, it was a nightmare as even though I felt all the other kids at nursery were trained she just wasn't ready. I tried again 6 months later and she was trained and dry at night within 2 days.

She doesn't sound ready, it's normal for parents to feel like their child is a little genius and ahead of the curve (mine certainly is ) but sometimes you do have to rein yourself in a bit and look at the facts. The fact that you have had no success, would seem to suggest that she's not ready. Give her six months and see if any signs appear from her suggesting that she's ready.

She's only just 2. You've given it a good go but she's obviously not ready yet so leave it for a while before trying again. She doesn't seem to recognise the feeling of needing a wee which is crucial to success.

Both of my DCs were 2 years and 7 before they potty trained but when they did it was easy peasy because they were so ready. I took nappies off, put pants on and the were both reliably dry in a weekend.

A friend of mine was determined to train at 2. Started on her DDs second birthday. Yes, her DD wore pants but there were many, many accidents and puddles on the floor for months and months. In fact , she wasn't reliably dry until she was over 2 and a half. I really used to wonder what the point was as her DD really wasn't ready.

I've just purchased "Oh crap, potty training" from Amazon. I intend to start with my ds who is 27 months this week. Like your dd he has great communication skills and is well advanced for his age.
The book suggests starting off with no bottoms or pants and bringing them to the potty when you notice they are about to pee or starting to pee to make them physically realise that pee goes in the potty. That pants feel too restrictive like a nappy so confusing to them. I tried a few weeks ago before I got this book and the same as you had zero success so hopefully will have a better outcome when I try again.

My boys were potty trained before they were 2.

My DD didn't grasp it fully until she was closer to 3. I tried at a similar age to you, gave up and left it for a few months and then she cracked it at 32 months. Kids do it in their own time :)

Her peers at nursery are all potty training ATM (confirmed by the staff). DD1 even counts them all into the toilet when they go!

Yes, toilet, we have a trainer seat for her. I went with this option because she's shown an interest in using the toilet for ages now. Probably about 3-4 months. She has also told me in the past (when in nappies) that she was about to go.

7 years old? Yikes!

I think I'll ask her nursery for advice and go with whatever they think. I'm probably paranoid because I have a dodgy bladder!

I had to toilet train DC1 ad a condition of his preschool place.... my absolute golden rule was if he was still having numerous accidents after a few days then we canned it and left it for a few weeks. Started a 2.6 , had a few false start, but he started preschool the day after his 3rd birthday and was daytime dry.

I don't have same pressure with DC2 as she won't be starting preschool until she is 3.6 so I'm more relaxed with her.

I'd leave it for now. She's very young. I started at 2.5 and dd didn't get it. Tried again a few months later and went much better. She's 2 years 10 months now and out of nappies in the day but still having some accidents.

So she's just 2 (I think once they're over 18 months you can start counting their age in years)? That seems pretty young to me - not impossible, of course, if a child is ready but I don't think I knew anyone who bothered much before 2.5 years. That's when we started, and we had 3 separate attempts, each lasting a week. Third attempt (when she just turned 3) was successful.

My daughter will be 3 in November and was a very early talker (full sentences by age 2) and is VERY highly strung/epic tantrummer so I could almost have written this myself. She is only just out of nappies now and still not dry at night. We did have one failed attempt when I thought she was ready but she clearly wasn't, and a few weeks later tried aain and it clicked quite quickly. It's nothing to do with how developmentally advanced they are, they'll be ready when they're ready.

Regardless of how advanced she may be in other areas, potty training will not be successful until she is ready.
I learned this the hard way, I was convinced that I wanted ds trained when he was 2, but he just didn't get it, wasn't interested and we failed miserably.
I left him to it and waited for him to show signs he was ready, and we tried again just before he turned 3. It was so easy and took him a couple of weeks. We are a month in now and have no accidents.

It might be worth reading the Gina Ford book, Potty training in one week (even if you are not a Gina Ford fan generally - I'm not, I'm opposite end of the scale on most things!)
There are some great punters in there including the readiness signs to look out for.

*pointers

Okay, I'm getting the impression that her peers at nursery are all legitimate potty training geniuses! I shall lower my expectations and wait a few months.

Until then, she can continue being toilet monitor and giving the key worker-parent handovers (Heaven help them, I am quite embarrassed about this!).

Thanks all.

If you are using disposables I can't see any problem in changing 2 lots of nappies. Some of us had to manage 2 children in cloth nappies and no washing machine.

It doesn't matter what her friends at nursery are doing, if she's not ready she's not ready.

Not using disposables. Constantly washing wipes and nappies. Oh the joy!

Shelve it for a couple of months and then try again, but start with poos. After all, that's the worst bit of nappy changing! She will be conscious of when she is pooing.
Every time she poos on the toilet (and I would continue with the toilet, I think a potty in the living room or whatever is just confusing), she should do what you do) give her a jelly bean. Actually when she is on the toilet-plop=jelly bean .
That's what worked for me anyway! I don't think it's too young.

She sounds like my daughter, developmentally, who is now five, and I sincerely wish that we had left potty training until later. Although my dd did get it before about two and a half, I think we pushed it too early, which meant epic power battles over holding on for ages. Still today she will refuse to go and hold on more than is good for her. There really is no rush; I would leave it for a bit and not worry about what the others at nursery are doing.

My dd was early but made it clear she wasn't wearing nappies.She was dry at night at about your dds age All fine.
Then at 4 when she started school she became wet at night again,just didn't wake up.The didn't stop until she was 6.They are all different but most get there and n the end.

It's up to 7 years for the nighttime dryness as it's a kidney function and can't be "taught". Day time dryness is normally done well before then.
I waited until my DS asked which was a few months before he turned 3. He hadn't shown any interest at all by then but I let him have a go and he was dry within 5 days. I was going to wait until his third birthday as it would have been summer so had planned the whole no pants no trousers thing.
It does sound like your DD is not quite ready. Don't get caught up with what all her peers are doing. There will be many children her age who aren't potty trained.