To wake up disappointed I haven't gone into labour

[alicelake]

I'll be 39 weeks on Tuesday. I was a previous section with DD who wouldn't come even when induced. So I would LOVE a natural birth this time round. However if I don't labour natural I'll end up having a section again at 41 weeks. I just don't feel like it's going to happen and have been told by midwives it may not as DD didn't come of her own accord last time. So needless to say I keep waking up disappointed I haven't gone into labour and feeling very down about the fact I may never naturally labour

I emphasise completely. I'm 39 + 6 and just getting fed up waiting! It's my first, so I have no previous time frames to work with but it doesn't feel like anything is happening yet.

I've always wondered if the going into labour thing is to do more with the baby than the mother.

Our first was two weeks 'early' and remains our headlong child - always into the next new thing/new place.

Our second was 2+ weeks 'late' (arrived 3am on the morning induction was to be attempted). He is exactly the same about all kinds of change now and is still most reluctant to move to new places/new things.

They are both lovely - well worth the drama or the wait. I'm sure yours will be OP - however he/she gets out here.

My cousin swears that, "what got him in, got him out" with her first...by the second and third, she wasn't letting her husband within 6 feet of her, so I guess it's not conclusive proof...but there's some scientific evidence to suggest it works.

Incidentally, she's had vaginal and caesarean births - she didn't feel one was 'better' than the other, or that she'd have missed out if she hadn't experienced labouring too. If that makes sense?

A lot can happen in a week or so - fingers crossed for you!

I feel your pain because none of mine turned up without a hospital based intervention but I'm also feeling so jealous. You have some wonderful days left with a precious baby playing around inside you, soon to become a much loved newborn. None of mine are remotely pick-up-able now, in fact DS1 could pick me up if he so wanted. It's not going to be too long now until you hold a new human in your arms, however they decide to turn up. Rest and enjoy, if I could have the last few weeks again and the joy of being handed a newborn I would switch places in a heartbeat. I remember those days of waiting with all mine and yet a minute later I'm teaching someone to drive. He only just fitted into 0-3 months clothes last week I swear!

Please keep us updated so I can live it vicariously through you. I would do it again in a second if I wasn't so old, good luck!

I can assure you you won't miss out if you don't have a vaginal birth! I hope you do have one if that's what you want but seriously, keeping your bits in tact would be a far more attractive option to me if there was a next time!

Thanks all! Still holding on and don't twinges. Obviously the outcomes with caesarean and vaginal are just as wonderful, guess I'd just like to experience labour. But who knows, just take it day by day. Keep making plans as if she won't come yet and I'm sure she will! :)

Try acupuncture. It worked for me, I had first contraction four hours after the treatment. You need someone experienced in pregnancy acupuncture though.

I woke up on DS's due date all excited about my baby coming. Then cried every frigging morning for the next 11 days because he wouldn't shift! He's always been a stubborn little bugger.

They come when they are ready, nothing you do save something violent will shift them if they aren't ready. All the special teas, sex and sweeps in the world won't budge them unless it's time anyway. I personally alwsys consider my due date to be my induction date, so 42 weeks. It saves the anguish for the last 4 weeks.

I don't think I'd do an induction personally until 12+ days over unless there was some problem.

I've had three vaginal births but all induced. First at 38 weeks due to pre-eclampsia. Second at 40+12 as overdue. Third at 39+6 due to suspected pre-eclampsia/just in case.

I get the disappointment about not doing it 'naturally' though.

It sounds stupid but I'd love to do the whole waking at 3am with twinges...creeping downstairs and making myself a cup of tea to see what happens. Waking dh up at 6 to get him to drop the dc off where they need to go. Then having a bath and dh taking me in when contractions are x apart...I have a whole scenario in my head which will never happen as dc3 was our last, and I still feel a little sad that I won't experience it iyswim.

Got my fingers crossed for you though, you never know.

By the way I had sweeps on #2 and #3 and they made no difference. If labour had started wishing 24 hrs I bet I'd be going around saying sweeps work.

I was induced at 38+1 with DD1, so when I went overdue with DD2 I was absolutely crawling the walls as I had NOT expected to still be pregnant at 40+ weeks with the second. We went for a massive stomp around the farm on my due date, nothing happened. No show, no twinges, nothing.

At 40+7 I was woken at 5.59am by an audible pop... which was my waters going. DD2 was with us at 2.45pm that afternoon. I'd had a slight show the night before (but nothing significant), no twinges, nothing. No warning signs. It just... happened!

Can I join? I'm 40wks today, no sign of anything happening any time soon. DS was born on the day he was meant to be induced at 42wks last time.
I'm surprised at the number of people requesting sweeps on here - I had one at 41wks last time and it was absolutely excruciating and had no affect whatsoever (ds was obviously not ready!). I'm planning to refuse the offer this time... unless I'm really fed up by then!

I had one at 41wks last time and it was absolutely excruciating and had no affect whatsoever

Oh no, don't say that! I'm 40 today and have my midwife appt. She's offered a sweep and I was going to give it a go. I didn't think it would hurt (very new to all of this).

Don't lose heart, my first baby was bang on time, my second was 12 days overdue, we were booked in for an induction that morning & I started contracting on route to the hospital so avoided an induction.
They whipped my last one out via section the day after her due date because she was swimming freely from transverse to breech to head down & back again.

Just because your first did one thing, doesn't mean this one will do the same.

Good luck & I feel for you being heavily pregnant in this weather

Ah sorry WonderLime! That was not my intention!
I think it's more effective and painless if your body (or cervix) is already starting to get ready for labour - mine clearly wasn't.
My menstrual cycle is naturally quite long and I always wondered if that made a difference - no midwife has ever taken it into consideration but there's a big difference between the standard 28 days and my usual 35.

Oh bless you. I had my first child 2 weeks late - ended up induced then c-section.
I was exactly the same as you with my second thinking it would never happen, but I did go into labour naturally at 1 week late. I ended up having a c section again and being disappointed that I never gave birth naturally. I'm over all that now though. If I ever did have a third, I would book straight in for a section!
Good luck! Hope all goes well

Speaking as someone who's had a natural birth and an elective section, natural birth is way overrated. I know that isn't much of a consolation to you, and us women find ourselves thinking of natural birth as a aspect of womanhood that we really should experience, but, speaking as someone who's done having babies, it's bollocks really.

I'm glad I only had to suffer contractions (and pushing a baby out) once.

Good luck over the next two weeks

Sorry to say this but you need to relax, you have got upset as you have put an expectation in place for a milestone that you have decided, nature doesn't work like that.

My tips are relax, sex (semen apparently helps), a sweep from your midwife and dancing. This is love by Will.i.am (whatever his name is) got me started. (disclaimer it worked for me but no idea if/how/why any of the above helped).

Walking upstairs can put pressure on your waters, that's how mine went.

My first was overdue. And my second was even more overdue. I was at the hospital on Friday morning for a check up and told I had to be induced on the Monday. My dd was born less than 24 hours after the hospital appointment. Woke in the night no bh show or waters going and 8 hours later she was born. I was upset every day that I hadn't gone into labour and I know how you must be feeling but there is a few days yet so try and enjoy the pregnancy your baby will be here soon. Easier said than done I know

Ahhh thank you all I know I need to relax, just so hot and bothered even getting up off the sofa is a struggle now! But hey I won't wish the time away. It'll start flying by when she's here and I'll be wishing she'd stay small!

With my second (who came 2 days before his due date) I remember I had a pedicure just before and the beautician asked me if I wanted my feet massaging - she really went for it and pressed on lots of different reflexology points.

Who knows if it helped but maybe worth a shot. Get yourself booked in somewhere.

My first went as follows.

10.30 am day ONE. Twinges, like the onset of a period. Was in the bath at the time and due to see the midwife. Had been having Braxton Hicks for three weeks beforehand. Incredibly excited.

12.30 pm day ONE. Finally see the consultant (not the midwife) who confirms that I am 1 cm dilated. I've walked a mile to the tube, sat for 10 mins and then walked half a mile to the Royal Free. I'm told to go home and put my feet up and make myself some tea.

I do the same walk back and experience a lot of very strong contractions. People ask me if I'm okay. Obviously. I tell them, through breathing through contractions I'm fine. A taxi takes me home. I ring my partner's work.

4.00 pm DAY ONE. Everything stops. Nothing. I feel a fraud but my partner is home. I'm sitting like a duck on a big egg.

8.00pm DAY ONE. Things start to happen again. I've rung all my relatives. Endless hours of chat. My mum tells me not to get my hopes up for a baby within a few hours.

12.00am day TWO. In the hospital and examined. I am 2 cm dilated. I feel deflated beyond belief. We go home. I'm crying. So restless.

4.30 am Day TWO Back again. 3 cms dilated. I can't eat, can't do anything. I'm so nervous. I'm given a sleeping tablet. Kept in. (I've had no pain relief at this point).

To cut a long story short. (Partner has gone to work and come back at this stage).

10.30 pm DAY TWO baby girl is born. Vaginally, no stitches. 7lbs. It was half an hour of pushing in the end. I never had pain relief.

So to those who say put your feet up have a cup of coffee, get the relatives round, big smiles etc.