AIBU re passive aggressive friend

[Hallomiaddicted]

I have had a passive aggressive message today from someone who is supposed to be a good friend. It is regarding the fact I didn't tell them an exact date of a family event coming up which no friends are invited to and that she wants to be involved with. They said they are totally fuming with me and want to be supportive. They also compared themselves to another of my friends saying how I have known her for hardly any time. The second friend is a closer friend and she naturally has a more selfless nature. I don't value friendships on years but the quality of the friendship personally. The one who sent the message lives 70 miles away and said all of last year I haven't asked her to come and visit where as the second woman has. The second woman came on the way to a trip to Manchester arena and diaries happened to match up for us to go for drinks. I don't have any social media accounts and keep a small group of friends.
AIBU to feel I don't have to justify sharing information with friends ? I think it's coming from a good place but it's really put me off this friendship.

Ugh I hate 'friends' like this. True friends don't feel they have a right over your life. She sounds awful and I'd distance myself if I were you.

Totally fuming with you and wants to be supportive. Bit of a contradiction there. More she feels she should be involved and you have thwarted her by not telling her the date so she can't just turn up and muscle in! I have no truck at all with ' You're my friend, no one else can be friends with you.' Little children behave like that!

In fact, it sounds like she has become family and no longer thinks she is only a friend given her insistence on coming to a family only event. I'm afraid I would distance myself or even stop contact because, in my experience, this kind of thing is usually accompanied by all sorts of other crap.

Support and be involve = control

My gut feeling is that it will escalate into more crap. I would never do that to one of my friends and would wish them well. I feel like it's all about her ??

Although she does sound needy maybe she is going through a bad patch. Call her! If a friend can't tell you they are upset what's the point of a friendship? Give her a chance to explain and then if her behaviour doesn't change worth ditching her. But I'm not sure I would give up on a friend after being unhappy with one text.