I need an unmumsnetty hug and told to get a grip

[SeashellsSeaShells]

A week ago I fell down the second half of a flight of stairs with DD in my arms. We took her to to the hospital to be checked out and she it totally fine apart from a mark under her eye. I got some grazes and cuts and am a bit bruised.
I can't get over it. I can't stop thinking about her scream. I can't stop thinking about DH crying (He never cries it really frightened him). Every time I think that she had a mark on her because of me I feel sick. I can't believe I hurt my baby. I keep having nightmares that I drop her again or SS take her away from me.
Rationally I know people have accidents with babies in their arms or babies fall off sofas. I know people have to face much more traumatic things such as car crashes with babies.
AIBU to feel this guilty? How long will it be till I get over this and feel like a decent mother again 😭

Please don't feel guilty she is fine, you are fine. It will take a little while to get over but it was an accident. No one is going to hold it against you and keep remembering you are both fine!

(((((((((((Big soft Hugs))))))))))))

You poor thing. You did not hurt your baby, you both had an accident. Give yourself a break, you sound like a great mum.

I had an accident this week (solo) and I keep getting flashbacks.

I once fell over whilst holding DD's hand and because of my fall my arm swung out with her hand in it and I threw her forward almost making her hit her face on a parked car.

The accident has shaken you and it's very normal to feel how you feel right now. Give yourself time and try to distract your thoughts when they come so that eventually the horrid memories will fade and you'll begin to feel more normal.

It's not your fault. Accidents happen. It it can shake our confidence when they do so give your mind and body time to heal and you won't always feel this way.

The first accident is always scary. DD fell down the stairs when I was standing next to her and I felt terrible guilt about that.

But it happens and every parent goes through it. You will start to feel better in a few days and eventually it will become a story you tell other parents about to make them feel better when their DC rolls off a sofa/falls out of the buggy/bumps their head off a doorframe etc.

You're a great mother and your brain is now working overtime to prevent another accident. Don't blame yourself.

I felt like this after two awful incidents with my little boy. Both complete accidents like yours, and he wasn't hurt. But I kept playing it over and over in your mind. You mustn't blame yourself. Tell yourself, out loud if necessary, she's fine, it was an accident, I didn't mean to hurt her, she's okay. Unmumsnetty hugs for you 💐

We've all been there SeaShells, I promise. But you are fine and she is fine. Be kind to yourself - that means tea, cake, books in my world - and don't blame yourself. It was just an accident. Give yourself time to process it. and unmumsnetty hugs.

But you did really well! She only had a tiny injury because you saved her.

I know EXACTLY how you feel as I did the same thing (pitch black, spiral staircase) & I had flashbacks for weeks. I envisioned everything that could have happened instead. It is just your way of learning from the experience but unfortunately you've gone into overdrive.

Give yourself time. You're doing great x

Ok fine here's a hug 🤗

Oh and also, babies heal really quickly. You will likely get over it soon after the mark is gone. Because you'll be too busy worrying about the next thing ;)

Maybe you can write it all down (privately) this might help you get it out of your brain. I think writing therapy can be helpful. You don't need to read it back, show anyone or keep it. I'm sorry it happened to you I know your a good mum because you're feeling normal guilt. I hope I've made sense. ((())))

I could tell you to get a grip if you want but as everyone else has said these things happen and you obviously took the brunt of the fall yourself protecting your baby so GET A GRIP (😝 lol) you are doing great!

You don't need to get a grip at all, you had a scary accident and it has traumatised you, that's completely understandable.

It happens to us all at some point, but it isn't your fault. Your DD's mark will fade and she has already forgotten the incident, I promise. You will too, in time, you've just had a shock.

((((Gentle hugs))))

You're the reason she had only scrapes!!

And it was an accident

ds fell out of front door in his walker on to concrete step. Is now 38 and I remember every second!!!'

Dd1 fell down our stairs when she was very little and then knocked out the stair gate at the bottom.

I had to take her to a&e and couldn't get on the first bus as it was too packed which made me feel even worse (dh had suggested we buy a car when she was born but I said we didn't need it as we live in London).

You got a fright and hurt as well. Just try to forgive yourself. Shit seriously does just happen