To move nearer family for company and support but to an area I hate

[mezzalina]

I absolutely hate where my parents live. It's lifeless, in the middle of nowhere, very boring and depressing place. My parents live in the affluent area and there's two excellent schools (primary and secondary) which is a plus but it's really boring there.

I currently live in a big city and love the city. I don't like the area I currently live as it's quite deprived but soon I will be able to move out of here into a better part.

I am desperate for my parents to move to me as I'm really lonely here as a single mum with no friends or any support whatsoever. The working days are incredibly long and I'm so so tired.

My parents don't want to move (my Dad would move tomorrow but my Mum is unsure). It's been their home for 30 years. However they miss me very much so it seems advantageous for them to move nearer.

I am considering moving as my profession means I can find work anywhere. But while I would LOVE the support, company and love being near my parents, best friend and brother would bring. I'd feel I was giving up on my dream and regressing in terms of moving forward. Most people my age consider it a dream to move to the city I currently live and would seeing moving nearer my parents very much as a downgrade. I agree to be honest. If my parents live near me I'd not even consider moving back. Most young people mover the first chance they get.

I want to move back to be nearer them but in 20 years time I will only be 46, my parents will likely be dead, my Son moved away and I will be stuck in a very de-pressing place.

If I didn't have a child I'd not move back. It's only because I find parenting hard but he's 6 now and just about to get a little bit less demanding.

AIBU to stay eventhough I've no company or support here? Just because I prefer the area? Am I daft?

hiya I'm in a similar situation I want to be closer to family but hate the area they live. they won't move to where I am. I'm unsure what to do as well. sorry I'm not much help x

How far away is it?

Why should your parents move?

What is it about about the area you are in that you love so much?

I love the big city. The vibrancy, excitement, all that's going on. There's so much culture. It's a desirable area so not just me who likes it.

Where my parents live is soooo boring!

My parents shouldn't HAVE to move. Of course not. I'd just love if they did. Also if I move I'd have to change my son's school, my work, my home, my friends.

My parents are retired and own their home outright so much less for them to change. I don't think they love the area either. They took a while to settle there too. But it's become home to them now. I think it would be the making of them to move though as all their friends have moved away anyway.

Sophia0 same as me then. Glad I'm not the only one.

It's genuinely me. Just changed to capital M

Why do you say your parents could be dead in 20 years - I am 60 and both my parents are alive and kicking .

I don't think you should move, it sounds like a backwards step - why not make more effort to make more friends/contacts/support where you live?

I have never lived near my parents as an adult (and a parent myself) - I have frequently moved and had to start making friends again - it's not impossible, you just have to make an effort. Good luck.

why should your parents move, that is completely selfish of you to suggest that.

Are you sure your parents/friend/brother are going to want to and be able to provide you with support? And for how long? Don't move just because you think you should use people.

How long have you lived in the city? Do you have friends there? What about other Mums at school, are you able to help each other out?

I would suggest developing mutual support networks, rather than expecting your family to support you for nothing. Good will might run out fairly quickly

TBH you expecting your DP to move to your area is a bit unreasonable. Even if you move closer to them are you confident that your parents will be able/want to offer the amount of help you need? Not all do, and some may be reluctant to upset their routine to any great extent. Maybe sound them out before making a move.

In your position I think I'd be tempted to get a life where I am. It's nice to have your parents nearby and I understand why you want the support, but I couldn't personally face moving to a place I find depressing and boring in order to get those things. I'd rather improve my life where I am.

I moved 250 miles to be near my Dad to help him when my Mum died. He moved in with me and I looked after him till he died, three years ago. I left an area I loved, with friends and lots going on, to come to an area I don't really like, have found it difficult to settle into, and though I am now free to sell up and move back, this is proving difficult as I can't sell my house, and the north/south price gap has widened too much for me to afford to live where I'd like to. I feel stuck.

I don't regret making the decision to look after my Dad, and he was relieved he didn't have to go into care, but the situation I'm finding myself in now is not what I'd have chosen. Hey ho.

Think very carefully about what's really important to you, both now and in the future (as far as you can imagine) and don't rush into making any decisions. Talk to your parents too - find out how they feel.

How long have you bee where you are now?
I've relocated a number of times and it takes about 2 years to really feel properly settled, so it might be worth giving it a bit more time.

Having said that I don't think you should see moving back to your home town as moving backwards- life is transient; sometimes living city life suits and sometimes living a quieter village life is better, no one thing trumps the other it depends what is best for your circumstances at the time.

I was in this situation this time last year wish I had moved now as my dad died of a heart attack in January (at 53) should have moved closer to them while I still could and actually, now my DD is a toddler I hate the city. Cars everywhere, dirty pavements, busy people