AIBU Swimming lessons

[FeelingIrregular]

This is probably a stupid issue but wanted thoughts on it.

DD6 has been going to swimming lessons for 18 months and really loves it. She was going to a pool which was 0.9m throughout.

She's just about to finish her stage 4 and a couple of teachers have said for a few months that she would benefit from a deeper pool. I reluctantly agreed to try an alternative pool today. I was nervous though because when she first started lessons she would freak out when they jumped in as she was terrified she would 'sink'.

Her equivalent class today start off in the deep end which is 2.5m deep! She got in but looked at how deep it was and predictably freaked out again. They moved her to the next class down which was still 1.2m (she is only 1.1m) and she clung to the bar and wouldn't let go and spent the entire lesson crying. She can swim really well but can't deal with not being able to put her feet on the floor.

The teacher came to find me afterwards when I was calming her down as she was just so SO scared. She said that she should still come along as she would get used to it. I agreed but I said I want her to go back to the other pool if she is still scared as she clearly isn't ready.

I guess I'm asking if AIBU to insist she goes back to the baby pool?

Has anyone else's kids been like this and did they get over it and how? I want her to be able to swim as it is a life skill but I don't want her to be terrified. DD can be quite scared of things and sometimes needs gentle but firm encouragement to do something.

I'm also angry that they told me to move her to a different pool but I wonder if I'm being PFB.

My middle daughter had a very similar reaction to the deeper pools, despite being a reasonable swimmer. What sorted it was 2 weeks with a swimming pool everyday (some days 4 times a day). On holiday pool with a villa. (1.4 metre pool) No pressure. Just whatever she wanted to do.

Our pool starts the tinies in the beach area and progresses along the pool to stage 4/5 in the deep end. Ds2 (7yrs) is now stage 4 but it's been a battle / tears every time he's moved up a class purely down to the depth issue, even though the change in depth is so gradual. He had to repeat advanced duckling stage 4 times before he had the confidence to do everything required. We've swum weekly as a family in the same pool & he loves family swim -
confident, hand stands, diving, jumping in but he hates lessons. We practiced stuff he was doing in lessons & he was fine with us, but not confident to even try in lessons. We've agreed
he can stop lessons when he gets to the end of stage 4 so the harder he tries, the sooner he stops!

My eldest (6) went to swimming lessons for 3 years in the UK, with no progress at all.

Then we moved country, and here his lessons are in a water polo pool, so there is no shallow end. None of the kids wear armbands (a noodle for my 2 year old last year - plus obviously extremely attentive teachers!).

He went from flat refusing to jump in a pool, totally unable to swim, nervous of water and of the whole idea, to flinging himself in off the racing start bits, and (admittedly inelegantly) swimming his way back to the side in 8 weeks. This year he's learning actual strokes.

I think that in the UK we probably baby our kids too much at swimming lessons - expectations are higher here (never cruel - it's just expected that the child will be able to do it - if not today, then soon, and we'll just keep trying until you can - the attitude is amazing and the kids respond)

I think that in the UK we probably baby our kids too much at swimming lessons

Bit of a sweeping statement there- my 6yo swims 4hrs a week and covers 1k+ per session. He's not standing in the shallow end with a noodle!

Bit of a sweeping statement there- my 6yo swims 4hrs a week and covers 1k+ per session. He's not standing in the shallow end with a noodle!

I meant 'learning to swim' lessons - not already can swim and refining my technique lessons...

Can't get my head round swimming lessons lasting 18 months - is she training to be a competitor? If not I'd jack them in and let her swim for fun

seniorcitizen1 would you say the same about Piano lessons? Or French lessons? or Football lessons? or any number of other things where you can become competent, but there are still routes to extending the skill?

What is wasteful or not fun about learning different strokes, how to dive, how to tread water etc. ?

I think we're talking about different levels/stages.

DD is going ASA levels so stage 4. No diving or treading water until stage 5. Stage 4 is more mastering the various stroke techniques over 10m, doing shapes in the pool, sculling and swimming from front/back etc.

DD can swim widths easily. She doesn't have to put her feet on the floor she just keeps doing it because she can if that makes sense? After having a stern word with her a few months back and telling her I would stop swimming lessons she has stopped putting her feet on the floor. They don't do diving at stage 4, they do push and glide to the swimming pool floor and in all the official instructional videos they always do this from a shallowish length.

As far as swimming lessons lasting 18 months - no she is obviously not training to be a competitor. Learning to swim takes time for some kids. There are kids who have been there longer than DD all in varying stages.

The company use varying swimming pools for their lessons and the pool local to us is in a local primary school so it's a shallow pool.

Well I think your aim was for her to learn to swim invade of danger

She's doing that

She doesn't need more lessons

What makes you think that was OP's aim? My aim in having children swim is that it's a great keep fit sport for life. And they love it.

She's not learning to swim in case of danger if she's terrified of being out of her depth though is she? I think you have to be a very strong swimmer to be able to rescue yourself in scary situations (caught in tide, fallen in river fully dressed etc). "Can paddle across a shallow pool" doesn't really cut it.

There's also being aware of danger which is really important - I think some stats say that swimmers are actually more likely to drown as they are more likely to be around water and take risks around water. But having seen non-swimmer cousin fall into a swimming pool and need rescuing as a child, I think I'd rather ensure they have really well embedded skills themselves and maybe some lifesaving too for risk awareness.

ASA stage 3 requires a 1m pool - as one of the things you need to do is jump in to 1m, not sure the fully submerge and tuck roll are that easy in such shallow water either?

I'm sure there's flexibility for what is available and to not simply old people back, but I think there's surely an expectation about moving beyond being in water sooner than this, certainly DD went out of even bouncing on the bottom to breathe at stage 2, and has been fully out of depth since.

I think different swim schools start building up the skills in a different order though they do the same ASA stages OP. For example DC's school they're jumping into deep water from the first lesson (with teacher helping them to then turn round and grab the side). They start building up the skills required for the higher ASA levels from early on, they don't just teach what is technically required for that level. Even with different teachers within the same school, for example DS was moved from stage 2 back to stage 1 because that particular teacher wanted them able to kick on their back without floats and without using arms, his original teacher did that later.

DS currently swims in a passed stage 4/working for stage 5 group. They warm up with 2x25m lengths in deep water of each stroke. Now clearly that isn't a requirement to pass stage 4, but it's the way they teach it - their 10m of each stroke has to be perfect technique and they want stamina for a lot more. I think it just depends on how the different schools and teachers teach.

One of the reasons I want my children to learn how to swim is incase they fall in the water. I personally would continue with the 1.2m - if she ever falls into water accidentally where she can't stand up - it sounds like she would freak out when she is actually very capable of saving herself. She needs to practise not freaking out in this scenario.

My daughters are on stage four, whole lesson is on the deep end, they were jumping in the deep end at stage three. She won't learn to swim properly if she's not out of her depth.

I find the lessons terrifying and can't watch but really they're fine. The teachers know what they're doing.

If she keeps putting her feet on the floor then how is she on L4? My DD's instructer refused to pass anyone from L2 if they did that. I suggest you find other swimming lessons for her with a more capable instructer and start again from L1. Also suggest you not mention her being out of her depth in front of her - just make it clear that if she's not ready for the deeper pool then you'll just start her again from L1 until she is.

I teach in different schools - the standard in ASA stage 2 in one school is the equivalent of about stage 7 in the other.
School A don't pass stage 2 until breaststroke legs are perfect, and frontcrawl is breathing to the side. Stamina wise these children could probably swim about 400m doggy paddle.
School B passes stage 2 as soon as they once do 5m doggy paddle and understand breaststroke means your limbs go in circles.
School A is far better, but interestingly, most of the parents, who know nothing about swimming, think school B is as they think their child is progressing.

Different swim schools treat the ASA Stages differently.
Some, like the OPs seem to move them up when they can do the bare minimum of the badge requirement. Others, like where we go, build in a lot of water skills and stamina as they go.

Checking my DD's towel, she had a 15m badge before her Stage 1 badge, and a 100m badge before her Stage 3, and also Water Skills 4 before her stage 4 badge, and finally a 3k badge before her stage 6.

Where my DD goes the pool is 1.2m deep, she is small so was out of her depth until she was 9.

I agree with the others, sounds like a very shaky Stage 4 to me.

Stick at it FeelingIrregular.

She's not safe in water until she's calm swimming in all depths. Persistence now could save her life one day.

My girls go to different swim schools.

One only has a 25m badge despite swimming a 4 length "warm up " in her stage 6 lesson... They only give out the badge at the end of each stage when they swim all 4 strokes to the level of that stage!!! I think that's a bit bonkers.

But yes they have lots of extra bots before passing each stage so a child is swimming a stroke well.

*GreenTulips
Well I think your aim was for her to learn to swim invade of danger

She's doing that

She doesn't need more lessons*

If she's panicking in a pool lesson then if she falls into a deep pool, stream, pond, she will panic and drown. She needs to learn to swim in deep water. My almost 4 year old is doing stage 4, but has never had a lesson in a shallow pool, ours is 1.2m. (It helps that he thinks he's a fish!!)

Technically if you 'need' to touch the bottom the surely you ain't really swimming.

'Then'

She doesn't 'need' to touch the bottom, she does it for reassurance. It's rare she does that and she is certainly capable of swimming widths without stopping. I've seen her do in at that pool and also when we have taken her. It's a confidence thing with her not a capability. And she can submerge over 1m as we do that asa a family and she do somersaults in the shallow pool as well as the pool we go to.

I want her to learn to swim for the exact reasons catkind has stated. I don't care if she isn't Olympic standard quality. But I want to feel confident that she can swim to a respectable level as a life skill. Confidence IMO is as important as technique and for DD at the moment those two things don't seem to match.

I know IABU for being angry with the swimming teachers, I said previously I was projecting my own upset given just how terrified DD was. She is my PFB and I'm also flying a bit blind as I have no guidance or support on how to handle these things sometimes IRL.

I'm going to keep her in the big pool. I'm not bothered if she moves down a class to get her confidence up and I agree she does need to get used to the deeper pool.

Thanks manhowdy I agree.

Can't get my head round swimming lessons lasting 18 months - is she training to be a competitor?

Senior DS1 is 11 and has been in swim clubs since he was 18 months old. It's something he continues to get better at, refine his strokes and speed up. He swims brilliantly, but can do things this year that he couldn't do last year. You don't learn to swim then tick a box and never have to swim again; if you don't continue to practise how do you improve?

I learned to play flute and violin as a child. I didn't learn to read music, play a few songs then quit and declare myself the new Nigel Kennedy because to become good at anything takes years and years of practise. Even now I'll pick up a violin and need a few minutes practise before holding a tune. Swimming is a life skill which could save a child's life and I'd quite like mine to be the strongest swimmers they can be.