Or is my mother

[bellalou1234]

Hello,
I hope someone can offer a perspective on this money matter.

When I was 22, I was a single mum and bought my council flat, this was done mainly on advice from my dm, as she had done the same. I then sold the flat when I was about 25, and moved temporarily into my dm house. In the mean time she'd bought a house out of her price range and took on a hefty mortgage at the age of 55. When I was living there she went on and on about the dept, I offered to give her 30 grand and I think my nana give her around 15 grand.

A few years later I met my current dp and we wanted to buy a home so I asked her for 20 grand back, she'd managed to save some money and was able to take a small remortgage as the house had loads of equity.

So, every now and then she brings it up how awful I am, how I wouldn't have bought the flat if it hadn't been for her, how she's going to tell my dp what she had to do. He knows all about it.

Was I unreasonable or is she?

She is.

Thank you! I just can't get my head around why she would think I'd just give her 30 grand!

Maybe crossed wires? You do say you gave her the money. In hindsight it would have probably made more sense to get a proper ageeement for it to be paid back with so much involved.

I would just smile and ignore when she makes comments.

Depends.

I presume you told her you would eant it back at some point?

Unless the agreement was that you would only get it back when she sold or passes away, sibu.

I would also point out that my dp knows i asked for the money back that i lent her to help HER out.

My mother likes to guilt trip me over things when life isn't going 'swimmingly' for her. Ignore her, op!

Nobody just give away 30 grand and not expect it back unless they are absolutely bloody rich.
She is being very unreasonable.
Next time she brings up the flat just remind her that she was only doing her job as a parent guiding you in life.
Whereas she should have know better overstreatching herself at 55.