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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Am i weird about this...

26 replies

Imaginosity · 15/07/2017 00:10

I always get anxious when people make inconsiderate noise. Tonight I'm camping with SIL and her family and they are very laid back about making noise. They live in the counteyside and have never had to think about the effect of noise on others. It's midnight and they're still chatting in their tent. They're keeping it down a small bit but people in other tents can hear them I'm sure. Sometimes they forget and laugh a bit louder. They keep getting stuff from their car - opening and closing the doors. I feel really tense with this and wish I could just be at home. I hate being part of the inconsiderate group.

OP posts:

steff13 · 15/07/2017 00:15

If I were camping I would be too concerned about being murdered to sleep.

It's Friday, it's only midnight, I wouldn't worry about it personally.

Nettletheelf · 15/07/2017 00:18

The people in the other tents may not care! Not sure why you are anxious? Are you worried about people being annoyed with you because you're part of the naughty talking in a tent group? Why?

Migraleve · 15/07/2017 00:21

They are talking in their tent. What makes you anxious about that?

mogulfield · 15/07/2017 00:24

I can't stand inconsiderate noise when camping. After 11-12pm you should start being quiet and think of others.
Last week the tent next to us was blaring out music till 2 in the morning, I was raging by this point as we had our 2 year old with us, and the camp 'quiet time' was 11pm.
I went and politely asked them to be quiet, they seemed to take it well and did turn off their music. But they were waaaayyyy drunker than I thought, and spent the next HOUR crying and bitching about me. Which I couldn't sleep through as that made me anxious (I didn't enjoy being called a fucking bitch etc).
So slightly different but I feel your pain!

silkpyjamasallday · 15/07/2017 00:29

I get this sometimes too OP, I had a friend with a really booming voice and I'd be constantly cringing at how inconsiderate it was to talk that loudly. She was however fairly indiscreet, would talk about anal sex when we were young teens so everyone in the cafe could hear and such so a big part of my feelings about it was embarrassment. I also get it when I feel the person is talking to be overheard, if you know what I mean? I know this isn't your situation though, but I understand not wanting to be associated with your inconsiderate SIL.

I do have anxiety though, and social situations with close proximity to strangers is a big problem for me and I have to remind myself to chill out a bit, do anything to distract yourself. But do it quietly

Original poster

Imaginosity · 15/07/2017 00:30

Maybe I am weird?

Its a family campsite aimed at people with young children. All the other tents are quiet - people trying to sleep I presume. The man that runs the campsite asked them to keep it down at 11 o'clock. They did - a small bit. I just think its not fair on others to keep them or their children awake. It seems so thoughtless and selfish and that makes me stressed.

OP posts:

bakedbeansandtuna · 15/07/2017 00:32

I have similar problems, you aren't alone. I'm really sensitive to noise in general but I always have good earplugs on me.

OwlBeBack · 15/07/2017 00:36

Not weird. I went out with my sister today and she was LOUD. I was cringing.

I am aware some people are naturally loud, my sons are, but she was off the scale today.

Seren85 · 15/07/2017 00:38

The camping probably wouldn't bother me unless it was obviously disturbing to other campers but I do get what you mean. I get anxious when my Mum or sister are talking about someone, even if it is totally neutral, potentially in earshot of the person or generally loudly in public. They both have naturally loud voices but not offensively so. I just have anxiety about "doing the wrong thing" in most circumstances.

lostpigeon · 15/07/2017 00:59

people coming back from the local pub etc, fine, people going on for a while not good

Sarahsue1 · 15/07/2017 01:09

Noise like this irritates me massively - I work from home on my own and it suits me fine - I hate people talking on public transport etc. However, while I am aware of how little patience I have (unless I am out socially drinking etc and then don't mind the noise) I am also aware that a lot of people don't think like me and are probably not being rude / selfish - in their mind. Have you got earplugs OP? Genuinely - lifesaver for me

Aquamarine1029 · 15/07/2017 03:52

You are not weird. You're a considerate and mature adult. I'm sorry they are making you so uncomfortable.

JungleInTheRumble · 15/07/2017 05:19

YANBU inconsiderate people are the worst.

I went camping once and never again - there was one group who were up talking until gone 1am and continually opening and slamming car doors (much more annoying than the talking). Then as soon as it was light all the little kids woke up and started running around, playing etc (totally understandable and wouldn't have been a problem if everyone had been reasonably quiet from 11pm).

Why don't you tell them to be quiet?

GrandDesespoir · 15/07/2017 08:58

If I were camping I would be too concerned about being murdered to sleep.

If I were camping with people who were talking loudly and repeatedly banging car doors after midnight there would probably be some murders taking place.

MuncheysMummy · 15/07/2017 09:09

We have a touring caravan so stay on mixed sites a lot... yes they are being very unreasonable and noise carries SO far in these settings they are being selfish arse holes to be carrying on still at 12:00 at a family campsite. We have been kept awake by similar a few times before and I have to say most family sites won't ask twice especially after 11pm.. the second visit is usually to order you to leave NOW!

ethelfleda · 15/07/2017 09:13

I don't think you're BU - you are just one of those people who naturally considers other people around you... that is not a bad thing. I'd be the same in your position.

ethelfleda · 15/07/2017 09:14

When and I and DH used to go camping (just the two of us) we would stay up until all hours drinking beer and chatting but we were always quiet out of respect for others... and then would remember why we should have gone to bed earlier when we are worked up at 6am by someone kicking a football against the tent

Only1scoop · 15/07/2017 09:17

Not weird they've been asked once.

MrsJayy · 15/07/2017 09:23

I used to hate the in and out of the cars late at night it is so selfish the chatting in tents never bothered me but the door slamming used to drive me nuts.

MrsJayy · 15/07/2017 09:28

I got door bangers back 1 morning by coming in and out of the car opening and shutting caravan door and having the radio a bit louder. They had been using the car as a drinks cabinet and went to bed at 4am . When they got up bleary eyed i treated them to a cheery MORNING 😁

TealStar · 15/07/2017 09:32

YANBU

This is the main reason I hate camping. Other people. Especially when they have their car stereos playing.

I could do wild camping, I think I'd enjoy that, if it were a small like-minded group of us. But camping on a big site surrounded by others? No frickin' way.

Ohmyfuck · 15/07/2017 09:42

I am EXACTLY the same. I was cringing just reading your post.

Botanicbaby · 15/07/2017 12:47

You are not weird at all OP!

YADNBU. I would be cringing too at how inconsiderate they are and wouldn't want to be associated with them either.

I have a holiday cottage in a very peaceful, quiet rural village. Friends visited once during a holiday weekend with their older children and they were all ridiculously noisy, loud raised voices, thumping up stairs slamming doors, ugh I hated every minute.

Youcanttaketheskyfromme · 15/07/2017 12:51

I hate people like this. When I was at uni I stayed in a hostel abroa and a group of middle aged women also used my room too. At 5am they got up, turned on all the lights and started packing as they had to leave early.

I thought they might be more considered not being drunk students - clearly not.

ChangeyNamey1990 · 15/07/2017 13:29

We always went wild camping when I was growing up (just with school friends in the countryside near where I live). Campfires, toasted marshmallows, stars and no-one for miles. Got a shock when a university friend proposed camping and we went to an actual camp site! Awful...never again!

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