To ask about using CMS

[WhoWants2Know]

I've been separated from my ex for almost 5 years. For most of that time he paid no maintenance at all, but in the last 18 months has managed to pay £150 per month towards two children from a salary of 28K.

I'm struggling financially because my income is much lower than his (even with tax credits etc.) I've asked him to help out more when school trips or birthdays come up, but he says he's too skint.

I know CMS could just take what the kids are entitled to from his wages, but so far I've hesitated to involve them because I'm worried about his response. He was and is emotionally abusive, and stalked me when I ended the relationship. With the kids he is kind of a "Disney Dad", all fun and no boundaries. He won't listen to reason about things like not keeping the kids out past 10 on a school night (they're 7 and 9) and he often brings them back Sunday evening still in the same clothes I sent them in Saturday morning. There are other examples but part of me feels like it's deliberate neglect to upset me.

So I'm scared, basically. I use the time when he has them to work, so if he stops seeing them then I have to find other work. Or he could decide not to bring them back. I just don't know what he'll do if I go to them.

Has anyone else had to involve CSA /CMS? Did it work, and it even worth the risk of him doing something rash if he gets annoyed by it?

he is massively underpaying. My ex has three children, 2 with me 1 elsewhere and pays just over £100 a month for each child and his salary is only 19000.

Went to cms in january, yet to receive a payment as ex is ignoring them but its about to go to deduction of earninga so hoping for payment soon!

My XH earns a fucking huge considerable salary, and tried to control me via maintenance payments. I went to the CMO, who told him he should be paying more. He ignored their assessment, so I went for Collect and Pay. This meant he had to pay an extra 20% for being an arsehole. I lost 4%, but a friend commented it was worth it to annoy XH . I found the CMO people lovely, and told them so at every opportunity as I don't think they get much praise.

Yes, I was apprehensive about going to them, but I warned him in advance that I would if he didn't pay me the correct (albeit minimum) amount. In the end, I thoroughly enjoyed him realising that he wasn't a Master of the Universe and that laws applied to him. I understand your point about work, but if he's underpaying you then possibly you won't be any worse off in the long run.

That's interesting, that they can contact him first to say how much he should be paying. It sometimes makes a difference for them to hear it from someone else. Then he can't just say I'm being greedy.