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Original poster

Should I call 101, bruised distressed woman was in garden

61 replies

caringdenise009 · 14/07/2017 20:34

My son,20, was home alone making breakfast this morning (could have been 9am,could have been midday). He saw a woman crying,bruised with a black eye outside the kitchen door. She saw him and started gesturing for water. He checked there was noone else in the main bit of the garden ( thought there might be someone who would jump him) before going out and giving her some water and some food.

There's no direct access to our garden- we're mid terrace, spiked six foot iron fence at the bottom and two high fences either side. He asked her if she wanted the police and she panicked and said no,no police. She then went and climbed up the higher fence and jumped over the spiked fence and disappeared,though what she jumped into was a bit of river which is fenced off to the public so I have no idea how she would get out of there,unless she swam across the river to the open public side.

He didn't tell me until I got home from work and he went out straight after that. ( He has major anxiety issues and part of them are about him worrying about me worrying about him).

Given that she left hours ago, is there any point letting the police know? She obviously needs help but I'm not sure that what we have to say will give them anything to go on,so would I be wasting their time?

OP posts:
Highlyinternational · 14/07/2017 23:06

Is your son telling the truth about the woman found injured and distressed in your inaccessible back garden? Could he have been involved?

WizardOfToss · 14/07/2017 23:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BuggersMuddle · 14/07/2017 23:27

Wow, bit of a bloody reach to suggest her son could be lying or was involved fgs. Because he's anxious and didn't know how to deal with it optimally?

Why would you tell your mother if you'd been 'involved' in something she'd otherwise know bugger all about?

WorraLiberty · 14/07/2017 23:32

I can't see him being involved either to be honest.

But the whole reaction from the son, the DP and even the OP is just so weirdly casual.

I can't quite put my finger on it, but the attitudes just smack of oddness Confused

Tazerface · 14/07/2017 23:43

So two adults in the house and they had to wait until you or home to ask you what to do? Are they normally so bloody clueless?!

I'm glad you called OP.

Tazerface · 14/07/2017 23:45

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Lukeandlorelai4Ever · 14/07/2017 23:48

Poor woman. Did you check the river to see if she was still around?

WorraLiberty · 14/07/2017 23:49

I don't know why but I assumed he might have rang or sent a text to the DP? I could be wrong though.

Either way, I hope when the police do call back, they speak to the OP's son, rather than hearing it so vaguely and secondhand.

I'm pretty sure one the the first things I would have said to my son, would have been "OMG, what time was this?"

The police will certainly want to know that.

requestingsunshine · 15/07/2017 00:05

I don't care how socially awkward or anxious a person you are. If a battered, scared woman asking for water appears in your garden and there's a brothel nearby you ring the damn police. Immediately.

BuggersMuddle · 15/07/2017 00:08

Tazer Uh yeah. Being useless in an incident not of your own making is not the same as being complicit. I would've thought that was pretty self-evident.

That doesn't excuse OP's son for not dealing with it better (although I don't know the extent to which his anxiety affects him) but suggesting he was involved in the incident itself seems a bit of a reach based on the information given.

Either way 101 have been notified, which was the right call.

ThreeLeggedDonkey · 15/07/2017 00:09

*'Because he's anxious and didn't know how to deal with it optimally'

For actual fuck sake.*

Anxiety can be utterly crippling. I have severe anxiety, and I could not actually bring myself to call 999. I've had two instances recently where people on here would have said 'call 999' but my anxiety is severe enough that I could not manage it.

Personally, it's not a stretch for me to imagine that the OP's son is similar (though he did offer to call the police and she declined).

Blowingthroughthejasmineinmymi · 15/07/2017 00:24

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IloveBanff · 15/07/2017 00:27

Yes, he has anxiety but he offered to call the police so obviously felt capable of doing so. He should have called them despite the woman saying no. He's old enough to have worked that out for himself.

Beeziekn33ze · 15/07/2017 00:29

Poor woman, I hope she found someone to help her. She must be so scared and desperate. The 'no police' suggests she could have been trafficked into a brothel.

NotTodayDear · 15/07/2017 00:29

The lack of understanding and prejudice about MH conditions on this thread is unbelievable. Shame on you.

BuggersMuddle · 15/07/2017 00:40

This is ridiculous. Seriously. In an ideal world, everyone would feel empowered and have both the common sense and the MH capacity to deal with a weird situation. Fact: that isn't always the case. Still not fucking complicit. Really straightforward.

I mean, believe me, when I was attacked in the street as a teen I would have seriously liked it if passersby had helped rather than assumed 6 of one and half a dozen of the other, but that still doesn't mean they attacked me....

WorraLiberty · 15/07/2017 00:46

The very fact the OP started this thread asking if she should call 101 is bloody weird.

Unless all 3 of them have social anxiety.

BuggersMuddle · 15/07/2017 00:49

Oh absolutely, it's all a bit bloody weird tbh.

WellThisIsShit · 15/07/2017 01:06

Encountering an unexpected situation when in your own home would throw some people.

Having the woman say NO to calling the police then puts the son in a very different situation. When and how should he have deliberately gone against the wishes of someone who was already distressed?

Anyone know the protocol for that?
More difficult than it sounds, for anybody, add in anxiety, and... I don't think making the son into the villain of the piece is terribly helpful, or kind.

The only thing which is a big shame is why he didn't call someone for help, or to pass over the problem to someone who could have phoned the police straight afterward:..

bbpp · 15/07/2017 01:13

This screams sex trafficking to me. Poor, poor woman. I hope she found someone who could help her.

intergalacticbrexitdisco · 15/07/2017 01:20

I have autism, and I'd find it hard to go about my business, if a bruised, random woman appeared asking for food from me, a stranger, in an enclosed yard, then she leapt into a river (!) from over a six foot fence.

emmyrose2000 · 15/07/2017 02:25

I don't care how socially awkward or anxious a person you are. If a battered, scared woman asking for water appears in your garden and there's a brothel nearby you ring the damn police. Immediately

Agreed.

PearlyPinkNails · 15/07/2017 03:48

The total lack of understanding of MH on here is really shocking.

The woman obviously needed help but it's not a case of her needs 'trumping' her DSs anxiety FFS.

Thehappychef · 15/07/2017 07:47

Are you near Edgbaston as I've just read something similar on Facebook.

Please Read

Last night/early this morning at roughly 1.45am a young girl in a black head scarf was crying at my front door. She tapped on the window and set my dog off, when I've gone to the window she's begging me to go to the front door telling me she needs help. Then she starts to cry through my letterbox, begging me to help her. So I go to the door and open it on the chain to check she's ok.

The second I opened the front door, a man bursts in, breaking the front door. He then starts to run towards the laptops/iPads etc. So I'm finding myself in a fight with this guy, trying to pull him off the stuff, as he's forcing himself off me. He then turns and tries to grab a push bike resting against the wall. So I'm again having this fight to not let him have it which is when he turned around and grabbed my throat. I was struggling to get him off me but as he was doing it, it didn't feel like a hand, it felt sharp. Like he was holding something, so panicking, thinking my throat was being cut, managed to force him off me and he ran out the house.

I then had the police here for nearly 5 hours including the forensic team who have been trying to lift prints, I have then had them around again this morning taking photos of my neck.

I mean what the hell is wrong with people. How are you going to go through this whole set up to trick people into thinking you need help and the take advantage of the situation to try and rob someone's house? Then when you don't get your own way? Try attack them in their own home.

Please please please - if you see a similar thing at your door, please do not open it and call the police straight away.

Im ok thankfully, my throat is sore and cut, but it could have been worse.

Be aware and stay safe guys. The world is crazy.

(This was in Balsall Heath/Edgbaston)

Horsemad · 15/07/2017 08:47

Not sure I'd have opened the door myself.

Think I'd have called the police from the safety of my house OP.

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