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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not to make DS see ex this one weekend?

4 replies

sailorcherries · 14/07/2017 16:01

Background - ex and I split when DS was 7 months old. Ex still lives with his mother, she does all the care and most of the collecting of DS as ex doesn't drive. DS enjoys seeing his gran and I've facilitated this, EOW for 6 years, while ex has been sporadic and still makes plans to go out when DS is over etc. Ex also has a history of lying about seeing DS, lying about what I say and not bothering to make contact arrangements if his mother isn't there that weekend.

DS was due to visit this weekend as normal but come home early on Sunday to go on holiday, as a result he went last weekend too to make up for missed time. Ex text at 11pm last night to say his mum was away and he isn't home until 9pm tonight so DS can't come today but he'd get a train to pick DS up tomorrow and spend 24 hours with him (first time for him ever making an effort to collect DS). I said okay. I told DS the plans for tomorrow and he is adamant he doesn't want to go if his gran isn't there. He is only 7 but DS will openly say he only wants to see his gran etc although I don't encourage that and have always facilitated contact. Ex has made this rod for his own back due to his lack of interest and involvement. We have no court order and DS keeps telling me he doesn't want to go. Aibu in considering telling ex to leave tomorrow as DS isn't feeling it, as he went last weekend? Or should I make DS go when he doesn't want to?

OP posts:
Pippilottalongstocking · 14/07/2017 16:11

YANBU
Contact is for the child's benefit, not the parents. It's only a one-off and 7 is definitely old enough for him to have a say in whether or not he sees his dad anyway! Smile

gingergenius · 14/07/2017 16:12

I'd say to ex that ds doesn't want to go. Perfectly reasonable imho. Ex MIL sounds lovely x

sailorcherries · 14/07/2017 16:23

I can forsee an argument from ex haha. Ex mil is lovely but is blind when it comes to ex, unfortunately.

OP posts:
gingergenius · 14/07/2017 19:59

Aren't they all sailor? I'd still stick to your guns. Kids may only be kids but they still should have SOME say in how their lives go after mum and dad split up. It's clear your DS loves his GM time - so be it. Maybe your ex needs a cold dose of reality?

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