To not let my dad visit this weekend?

[FledglingFTB]

I last saw him in December, he's made no effort to visit since.

He can be very volatile, I think poss MH (manic episodes + lows) and a full blown alcoholic. Rang up whilst I'm at work saying he's at the train station and 'asking' if he can visit this weekend. I say asking because he never listens or takes no for an answer from me. My DB has already had him demanding a visit, but told him where to go as they have plans too.

Me: I'm out of the house every day and most nights this weekend, then off on holiday next week, which I haven't prepared for. I've got a lot on and I'd rather you came when we can spend time together.

Him: I don't care if you're there I'm just bored, I'll hang out with the cat

I rolled over as usual, but then rang back and told him straight. He started the emotional bullshit script 'you've both let me down' and 'I've bought tickets, my train is in 2 minutes' etc. And I lost it, raised my voice, told him to do what he fucking wants, because he always does. Put the phone down on him and turned it off. I have so much shit to get done at work I just don't need this right now she says whilst typing on mumsnet

AIBU not to want a bored alcoholic sat around my house?

I fully expect him to be hanging around my train station when I get home

I wouldn't let him stay, but could you take him to dinner or coffee and try to talk to him about his behaviour ? He sounds like an absolute nightmare, but I wonder if he needs someone to talk to. People don't get like that for no reason, do they?

Yanbu

Thanks Mummys but I literally have no time to spend with him tonight without dropping my plans. He will be travelling 2 hours to get to me. I go straight out to my pre-arranged plans this evening from work.

Also, I can't talk with my Dad straightforwardly sadly, there is no point. He's incredibly awkward and will not want to talk about his actions/how I feel, or his issues. Hence why my parents divorced a few years ago. I've given up.

The last time we tried to talk about his behavior whilst visiting, he flat out refused to acknowledge any wrong doing, accused us being in the wrong. He was shouting incredibly loudly and threatening, then stormed out at 1am and slept rough.

Next day all he did was phone me up and tell me he'd had a great breakfast in the train station - no apology, nothing. We shouldn't have questioned him, his actions were just in his mind.

"Him: I don't care if you're there I'm just bored, I'll hang out with the cat"

Do not let him in. Just because he's coming to your town, he doesn't have to be in your home. He can deal with his boredom in a B&B and a selection of pubs cafes. The cat will thank you for this .

He doesn't care if you're there. You should return the complement, and not care that he's in your town.

He's on the train.

As long as you're out and he doesn't have a key, what's the worry?!

^ he's being completely disrespectful of your life and it's never going to change if you give in. Especially after taking a stand as you've done.

Sorry your dad is such a difficult person and hope you get your work done and have a lovely holiday

What a selfish man. What did you do OP?

He's gearing up for the Bombshell. He will expect you to nurse him when it all goes tits up.

He's here, couldn't exactly turn him away. Thankfully my DP was understanding and took care of him last night so I didn't have to cancel plans.

Now I've got crap loads to do today and he's angling to 'tag along' (can barely walk) and suggesting he takes us for lunch. Which isn't normally a problem, but is exactly what I said I wouldn't have time for.

So frustrated on your behalf 😡.
It really is the height of rudeness to just turn up. It's all about him isn't it?