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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to feel sad that DS is giving up a sport

12 replies

AlisonPw · 14/07/2017 10:25

My DS is very sporty and over the last couple of years has really focused on two sports. They have occupied most of our weekends and quite a lot of evenings during the week. Although I have moaned at times about the committment required from me as chief taxi driver, really I have loved watching him compete and the camaraderie with other parents and their kids.

But now he has decided to give one up because trying to do both well has become really difficult.

I feel really sad about this - just because I'll miss the other sport/ parents/ kids. Anyone else had the same experience?

OP posts:

SummerKelly · 14/07/2017 10:35

Yeah I cried a little when DD gave up gymnastics. We're in the process of giving something else up at the moment, not sport, and I will miss the sense of community from it.

Original poster

AlisonPw · 14/07/2017 10:37

I have spent rather a lot of time looking at all the photos from the last couple of years and feeling a little bit teary

OP posts:

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 14/07/2017 10:38

Yes. Ds1 was playing for a pro football team since aged 11. He had a bad injury but should have been able to come back from it. He just lost confidence and interest though. He's doing another sport now (cycling) and could be brilliant, but he just hasn't the drive.

Our other 2 dses absolutely no interest in any sport! Unfortunately. Ds1 had all the talent.

At least your ds has another sport where you can watch him?

HipsterHunter · 14/07/2017 10:40

Oh that is sad - hopefully though the fitness, team spirit and enjoyment will stay with him.

In a year or two he will hopefully feel able to take it back up socially.

Original poster

AlisonPw · 14/07/2017 10:42

Unfortunately the sport he is sticking with is not my favourite one and not his best one either but its his passion so I wouldn't want to stop him. The parents and kids are nice but its not the same.

Obviously I can't say all this to him but doesn't stop me feeling sad about it all.

OP posts:

SummerKelly · 14/07/2017 10:45

It feels a bit like their whole childhood is a series of opportunities and losses as they change schools, friendship groups and activities, and then in the teen years are not very interested in you at all other than for lifts and money! I guess it's just life though.

corythatwas · 14/07/2017 10:47

It's all part of the great moving on process. It's a gradual drawn-out thing but you can be proactive here and see it is your chance to prepared for the future by getting more of your own community and satisfaction from things that do not involve him. After all, whatever sport he sticks to, by 17 or so, you are not likely to be a big part of it. Start developing the non-mummy side of your life and you will make life easy for him.

Original poster

AlisonPw · 14/07/2017 10:58

You speak sense Cory and I know that this is part of the whole thing of them growing up and moving on.

The only thing is that the reason he is giving up one sport is so that he can spend more time doing the other sport so the amount of time spent by me acting as taxi driver/ standing in cold muddy fields/ washing kit is unlikely to reduce .

At least with the sport he's giving up I got on with the parents and enjoyed chatting to them but the one he's sticking with - well the parents are nice but I don't really click with them.

OP posts:

SummerKelly · 14/07/2017 11:15

I find I have less of a social life now, well in the evenings at least, as I can't just drag DD along with me to friends houses, but she's not quite old enough to be left alone until late. Also there's the being around to make sure she's home safely or giving lifts so no drinking. I go out a lot for lunches / brunches though. Having to drive reasonably long distances to drop DD means it's often not worth going back home again, so you do hang around and make links with people even if they're not your main social circle.

FlandersRocks · 14/07/2017 11:17

I know the feeling - mine did dance for a year which they loved for the first 6/8 months but then gradually became less interested in.

I made them stick it out for another couple of months as they had a show coming up which they'd already been given parts in so I wanted them to know you have to stick to commitments...but I was really sad when they finished.

I wish they'd do something other than sports tbh but they do football, rugby and cricket between them and that's all that interests them nowadays.

Original poster

AlisonPw · 14/07/2017 11:36

I know what you mean Summer. I think teen years are a bit of a limbo land - there's the illusion that you are off the leash as a parent but actually they need you in different ways so it feels hard to commit to something else. And also you can't participate in what they are doing any more - so you just become a sad old hanger on

OP posts:

SummerKelly · 14/07/2017 12:10

Alison

Mine's great in lots of ways but she sometimes makes stupid teenage decisions that require a bit of sorting out!

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