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AIBU?

Not dishing out all the food

52 replies

allgoodnamestaken · 14/07/2017 10:02

If DH makes dinner he'll always leave some in the pot, rather than dishing everything out. When I commented on it he said that everyone had enough to eat so there isn't a problem. My problem is that the leftovers are either thrown out, which is wasteful, or put in the fridge, not used, festers and then gets thrown out.
I know that I grew up with big dinners and his family had more modest portions.
Also, DS is constantly eating so I think that if DH gave him a bigger dinner then DS wouldn't be raiding the fruit basket half an hour after dinner. Surely it's better to dish everything up and then if people can't finish it they can throw it out? Or AIBU?

OP posts:
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Redsippycup · 14/07/2017 10:43

So you put large / can't eat it all size portions on the plates, and some gets thrown away.

DH puts smaller / eat it all size portions out but keeps some back.

Are people allowed to have extra if they are still hungry or not?

Your way is a waste of food. DH's way is only a waste of food because leftovers aren't stored properly. So his way is better.

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Justhadmyhaircut · 14/07/2017 10:45

Anything that doesn't originally go on the plate gets put in a serving dish on the table for extras. .

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Notso · 14/07/2017 10:45

Why don't you use the leftovers?
If you are both cooking the same portion sizes your way sounds like people are over eating and even if they aren't then excess food will be thrown away. At least in your DH's way the leftovers are useable even if they aren't used.

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YetAnotherUser · 14/07/2017 10:47

Depends on a variety of factors such as how much is made in the first place, whether or not everyone is being served appropriate amounts...

My youngest DS would eat constantly if I let him, and his weight has slowly drifted to the upper reaches of a healthy weight. It's been quite a challenge to stop giving him big portions and tell him "No, you've had enough". Giving him a smaller amount and then letting him have fruit later is a less calories than a big plate of dinner.

It's totally unreasonable to not eat the leftovers though, the waste would drive me batty! Can someone not have them for lunch?

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becausebecausebecause · 14/07/2017 10:48

Are you and the dc incapable of helping themselves to more food? Or using up the leftovers?

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MackerelOfFact · 14/07/2017 10:49

IMO there's nothing inherently less 'wasteful' about eating food you don't want/need than there is in throwing it away. Either way it's surplus food that wasn't needed.

That's why you eat leftovers later!

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AlpacaPicnic · 14/07/2017 10:49

How much is being left though?
A whole portions worth? A half portion/top-up portion? Or just a few spoons worth?

A friend of mine leaves the silliest amount over - like two teaspoons worth of rice, or a tablespoon of sauce. He can't be bothered scraping round I think, so it's not enough to keep, but if I start scraping it out onto my plate he gives me a look.

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PurplePeppers · 14/07/2017 10:50

I never dish out all dinner because there is no way I will push my dcs (and myself!) to overeat.
If they are served a smaller portion, they can still have seconds if they want to.
If you dish everything out and it's not eaten, it will go in the bin anyway. Or it will get eaten and 'stored' in your own body.

Re the eating constantly, it might be that they are hungry or that they are not eating the right type of foods or that they cant control their hunger or that they eat for the pleasure of it/being bored/comfort foods.

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Butteredparsnip1ps · 14/07/2017 10:51

I'm with your DH here. I usually aim to make an extra portion for the freezer / lunch the next day. If anyone is particularly hungry, or we have extra guests (Older DC's girlfriend/boyfriend) it all gets eaten.

No need to throw it away.

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5moreminutes · 14/07/2017 10:52

It does sound as if the solution to your two different approaches is to put the pots directly onto the table and let everyone serve themselves.

I find it easier to serve up from the side/ hob directly, partly because there are various items like the fruit bowl and a plant which live permanently on the dining table, plus usually piles of post/ papers waiting to be dealt with but ideally the serving yourself idea does seem best, and works well when we do bother to do it.

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n0ne · 14/07/2017 10:53

I'm with you, OP. DH always leaves just a bit in the pans. It may get eaten if a particularly tasty dinner, or it'll end up in the fridge, or it may just as easily get chucked if it's just rice, say, and the 'main' part of the dinner is gone. Why not just dish it up straight away? And if the leftovers are insufficient for lunch, why put them in the fridge? When will they get eaten? And then the fridge is crammed with tupperware containing half portions of dinners.

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Butteredparsnip1ps · 14/07/2017 10:54

There is an interesting psychology at play in my opinion though. I often notice when we have guests and I put food out for people to help themselves, that those who take the largest portions, rarely clean their plates.

I don't understand why you would fill your plate and then not eat it?

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GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 14/07/2017 10:55

I often make what I know is probably too much, and have it for lunch a day or two after. It's very rare that I forget and it's wasted.

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FlandersRocks · 14/07/2017 10:55

You are both BU.

Stick with the appropriate sized plates portions and freeze the leftovers...surely that's obvious?

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Fruitcocktail6 · 14/07/2017 10:58

Go back for seconds or eat the leftovers for lunch.

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daisypond · 14/07/2017 11:03

I'm with your DP. I aim to have some left over, so we don't automatically overeat, or so there's enough for seconds, or enough for a lunch the next day. Definitely no throwing away.

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RhubardGin · 14/07/2017 11:08

I agree with your DH.

It's not very healthy to always have massive portions. It's nice to have the option to have seconds.

If you son was still hungry why couldn't he go and get himself some extra dinner?

If I have made too much I just put healthy portions on our plates and we have the rest the next night or bung it in the freezer. We don't pile up our plates with mammoth portions just because it's there, we would be huge!

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rogueantimatter · 14/07/2017 11:10

I get you. My DH is the same. In his case, it's because he can't be bothered scraping and faffing so he leaves a half portion or less to cake on to the spoon and wait for someone else to sort.

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thethoughtfox · 14/07/2017 11:14

Larger portions encourages them to overeat. Your husband makes sense. Apparently, allowing them to save themselves from dishes on the table is the best way to help them moderate their appetites an portion sizes. Could you try that?

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XiCi · 14/07/2017 11:18

I put leftovers in the fridge and take them to work with me for lunch. Could you not do something like that?

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Ivory200 · 14/07/2017 11:22

I love leftovers! The basis for next day's dinner, or frozen for home made fast food. We almost never have ready meals or takeaway food, because I habitually and deliberately cook more than is needed, so that it saves time another day.

But I agree you should give DS a second helping of dinner rather than let him snack of random stuff later. Smile

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Katedotness1963 · 14/07/2017 11:24

We dish the food into serving dishes and everyone serves themselves. Leftovers are portioned into Tupperware boxes and my husband takes them to work for lunches.

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Gileswithachainsaw · 14/07/2017 11:31

I agree with you both being U!!

Encouraging overeating just so you dont have left overs is not healthy.

If your ds is still hungry why not just offer more when he's finished?

How is throwing it away on a plate any different to throwing away in a pot.

Use left overs up. Simple. Freeze or take to work or help yourself to more if still hungry

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5foot5 · 14/07/2017 11:32

YABU to want to pile more on the plate than people could eat.
As someone who has always had a small appetite I always feel a bit "over-faced" by a piled up plate of food. I would far rather have a smaller portion and then have the option to go back for more later. Also, as others have said it could encourage over-eating.

Plan better so that the leftovers get used up.

Mind you - one reason your DH does this may be to avoid washing up the pan on the basis that there is stuff still in it. My BIL used to do this.

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RhiWrites · 14/07/2017 11:40

Put the leftovers in Tupperware, freeze and later defrost for lunches.

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